What to do with the portfolio if you break up..?
- Thread starter Shonnie
- Start date
Not quite true Kathryn. A prenup could be drafted which is aimed to protect the family farm which was brought into the marriage. The agreement could state that on separation the party is not entitled to the farm at all, no matter what. So what if the farm went up by over 100% (not likely in the current drought conditions) during that period and that was the only asset of significance. Should the other party be excluded from any increases in value ?
Coastymike,
Not sure of the laws of Aus, but if that family farm included a matrimonial home, I think it would be fair game.Maybe not the farm itself, but the actual house.
What I was more specifically referring to was the accumulation of IP's.
With my limited knowledge of prenups, at marriage a valuation of the properties would be recorded.
Not sure of the laws of Aus, but if that family farm included a matrimonial home, I think it would be fair game.Maybe not the farm itself, but the actual house.
What I was more specifically referring to was the accumulation of IP's.
With my limited knowledge of prenups, at marriage a valuation of the properties would be recorded.
I'm not sure why, as a society, we seem to be so fixated on the idea that relationships should be forever.
I think we should throw away the idea of marriages and move on a bit.. people change, mature and grow, I dont know why we cant just come together, have kids if we so desire, enjoy them, seperate when and if the relationship is no longer working for one or both of the parties.. A formalisation essentially of exactly what is happening now.
Throw out the rather wordy, flowery vows that promise an unrealistic utopia of loving togetherness for ever.. and err just have fun whilst it lasts
And move on amicably when its over..
I'm all for prenups.. especially for guys as they generally end up getting shafted when marriages finish. It'd be nice if they were legally more rigid and recognised within legislation of some sort.
I think we should throw away the idea of marriages and move on a bit.. people change, mature and grow, I dont know why we cant just come together, have kids if we so desire, enjoy them, seperate when and if the relationship is no longer working for one or both of the parties.. A formalisation essentially of exactly what is happening now.
Throw out the rather wordy, flowery vows that promise an unrealistic utopia of loving togetherness for ever.. and err just have fun whilst it lasts
And move on amicably when its over..I'm all for prenups.. especially for guys as they generally end up getting shafted when marriages finish. It'd be nice if they were legally more rigid and recognised within legislation of some sort.
I'm not sure why, as a society, we seem to be so fixated on the idea that relationships should be forever.
I would argue that we are not. We are focused on the belief that relationships should be Hollywood fairy tales. Hence many marriages end when the fairy tale does.....
I think we should throw away the idea of marriages and move on a bit.. people change, mature and grow, I dont know why we cant just come together, have kids if we so desire, enjoy them, seperate when and if the relationship is no longer working for one or both of the parties.. A formalisation essentially of exactly what is happening now.
Perhaps you are "over" marriages Duncan but we aren't all the same. People believe in marriage due to religious reasons, as a form of commitment to bring up children within, or just because that's what they honestly believe. We have been together for seventeen years and no cracks showing yet
Throw out the rather wordy, flowery vows that promise an unrealistic utopia of loving togetherness for ever.. and err just have fun whilst it lasts
Never made those kind of vows. Although I did enter my marriage believing that it was for a lifetime.
I'm all for prenups.. especially for guys as they generally end up getting shafted when marriages finish. It'd be nice if they were legally more rigid and recognised within legislation of some sort.
I am not sure how I would feel about my assets were I to enter a new relationship.
Duncan, it is obvious that you had a bad experience, but don't lump all marriages together in the same parcel. Like Goanna, we have been married for eighteen years & I am not planning on leaving & I don't think Hubby is either.
I think a lot of the problem with the high percentage of break-ups is that many go into a marriage with the belief that if it doesn't work out, then we will get a divorce & start again. If you both believe that marriage is forever & you are both committed to the relationship & working through any rough patches (& assuming there are no nasties involved like abuse etc), then I believe the relationship will survive.
I believe in the old fashioned vows of "Loving 'til death do you part", not the new age mumbo, jumbo. It should not be something that is done on a whim.
Not really.. Divorce, shared custody.. all rather amicable after the initial shock.. On the whole, a remarkably positive, enlightening and ultimately uplifting experience.
My observations spring from this postiive experience AND from observing the parade of squabbles and petty mundane lives that I see so many married couples living.. many of them vainly chasing happiness together, captive to the moral that marriages are for ever. The man usually terrified at the prospect of seeing his kids just every second weekend and surrendering 35% of his gross income to his ex-spouse, supporting two households on one wage when he was previously barely managing to support the one joint household on his income. The ignominy of being back on the rental market in some shitty little two bedroom flat, his kids squashed into one bedroom when they do manage to sneak a visit. Listening to their grumbling at the lack of a Plasma TV and PlayStation and hurting when he observes that slightly thankful attitude at being returned to the opulence of their Mums house (usually the ex-marital home). And with 35% of income going to Mum, 30% going to tax he's left with just 35% to live on.. 35% in a society where its deemed that about 30% of gross income is suitable to expend on accomodation alone.. the new working poor, a legion of Dads sacked from loving parenthood and relegated to wage-slavery as their input to the upbringing of their kids.
I further see new couples exchanging their vows with an almost hopeful atmosphere.. I feel, perhaps, they might be happier just revelling in being together.. ie, whats the point in burdening a relationship with the pressure to succeed.. you're together, its working already. Alas, it does seem to be the feminine desire for the ceremony, her day as Princess, the centre of attention that drives this forward..
Certainly amongst my, I'm sure feral, circle of mates we almost all would have been happier to forgo the marriage and the mostly robotic recitation of promises, hopes and desires that accompany it and merely got on with being happy.
I appreciate there's Religous aspects to marriages. I'm sure that my comments will be observed by some to be tainted by my Atheism and disdain for most of the worlds large religions. Feel free to discard them if you're in this boat. I respect your right to your views of course.
My wish is that more people can realise that happy kids dont need a mum and dad living in the same house with a white picket fence out the front. And given that some god-forsakenly large numbers of marriages FAIL why not start to adapt our society to this reality.
I certainly believed my marriage would be forever- unfortunately it wasn't to be (and there's no third party, or too much anomosity), so don't entirely agree with your view, Skater.
Everyone's circumstances are different, & so,I would imagine, are the ways in which we handle those circumstances. I suppose life would be pretty boring if we were all the same!
Just my tuppence worth
Annie
Annie, if you look at my above quote, I said you BOTH need to be working at the marriage to work. It takes two. I didn't say that it would always be roses either. For a marriage to work it takes a lot of committment from both parties.
I personally married with the aim of being married forever.
But, as my future wife and myself had lived in separate countries, I guess it was a lotto.
She took three months leave from her company in Mexico, to get married and to live with me in England. Hardly confidence inspiring.
It's now been 20 years since we met (next week), 18 years since we married, so fortunately it's all been OK (so far).
But I was very fortunate to meet such a lovely tolerant person (anybody who can tolerate me must be a saint
)
I agree with Duncan,
I'm sure everybody enters into a relationship with someone they love and admire but unfortunately time and life's experiences shape people differently and the sole mate that you started out with may turn into somebody that you no longer click with.
When you drift apart what is better, to stay in an unhappy relationship or move on?
The people who are still in a happy relationship after 20 odd years are the couples who grow in similar or compatible ways after facing life's experiences.
Cheers Pablo.
I'm sure everybody enters into a relationship with someone they love and admire but unfortunately time and life's experiences shape people differently and the sole mate that you started out with may turn into somebody that you no longer click with.
When you drift apart what is better, to stay in an unhappy relationship or move on?
The people who are still in a happy relationship after 20 odd years are the couples who grow in similar or compatible ways after facing life's experiences.
Cheers Pablo.
