18 yr old guy, 14 yr old girl

[JIT]

In Vic a "mature minor" has to be at least 15 y/o.
A 14 y/o has no legal rights.
If the relationship goes sour, the 18 y/o could be in strife, especially with a 4 year age gap.
Lawyers here may be able to advise better here.
This is my understanding since the last time I encountered this situation.

 

[willair]

Why guys have been taking advantage of women for sex for centuries.

Maybe it's the other way around,and once Men see it that way they see the world in a different light..

 

[Deena]

There is no way I would be comfortable with that scenario.

My daughter is very headstrong and had she been keen on an 18 year old at 14 there would have been no way I would have allowed it, but I am sure she would have gone behind my back. Thank goodness this did not occur to my knowledge.

I have two girlfriends who condoned their daughters seeing older men, both of them were naive enough to believe their daughters and the men involved as being just "friends".

16 year old with ......31 year old boy, girl pregnant and still with this looser today 4 years later, very controlling emotionally abusive relationship, daughter happy enough per sae, parents really regret not having him done for statuary rape.

Second girl pregnant at 17 to 27 year old drug dealer, girl also had been dabbling in multiple drugs, fortunately left him and has not seen or heard from him. He was a real charmer and not realised to later he was a drug dealer.

It was a clear as mud to everyone looking from outside for both of these girls that these were inappropriate relationships.

 

[kathryn d]

I guess 14 yrs old were more mature in the 70's.

 

[INVSTOR]

My almost 14 year old isn't interested in boys yet, yay, as she looks 18. A couple of her friends/aquantences have been very interested and it appears those girls are craving love and attention. It's handy some do friend requests to me on Facebook. My daughter is more into clothes, hairstyles, family time, good friends, and studying. I've seen a couple of girls lately wearing school uniforms and carrying young babies. Just doesn't look right! I'm not sure if some high schools have daycare attached?

 

[BMan]

What if it was the other way around and the young lady was 18 and the young man was 14,what do you think his father and mother would think?

how did he pull her....? nice job son!


i think the fact is that is been built into the culture a higher majority of older guys are with younger girls. everything starts becoming socially acceptable the more it happens and then the more its acceptable. in a never ending loop that keeps spiraling out of control

why? i dont know
is it because the girls at that age are looking for someone more mature than the 14yr old boys?

do women mature quicker?
are these young girls that are with older boys mature?

this could be the reason theres more younger girls older guys than vice versa

just like the guy can sleep around and hes labeled 'cool yet the girl is labeled a s!ut

it will never be the same for the same sex in the same position

i personally think its too young but as others have said tread carefully as in this day there's not as much respect for the parents as there used to be.

 

[Dazz]

I know this is the coffee lounge and all....but really, this is pretty far off track from the Somers intention for the website of discussing property investment.

Discussing politics and the general economic environment created thus....which affects every property investor in the entire country, with some personality argy bargy thrown in gets shut down......but the discussion of a shag-a-thon between kids is quite OK....

Strange.

 

[M1zz]

"Officer, she looked 15.....oohh, can you loosen those cuffs?"

I think that's a bit wrong, and the father doesn't mind :S I'd go mental on the bf and his parents.

 

[weg]

They were never in that situation at 14. At that age, wherever they went, we checked where they were going by calling the appropriate people- parents, teachers etc. By 16 they were getting more latitude- but they were really pushing the boundaries by then. As they showed responsibility, they were given latitude.

It sounds like they didn't get into that situation because the supervision and guidance was good.

From my humble experience observing others, where strong messages of right or wrong aren't sent, supervision is poor, self esteem and confidence are lacking (partly stems from how parents of the children deal with things themselves) and parents lack fortitude when it comes to the more challenging parts of parenting, these things happen.

The 14 yo girl in the OP's story appears to have parents that condone the behaviour so it's not surprising the girl had an older man in her sights.

Other young 14yo with different parents wouldn't have entertained the idea, even if they did idolize an adult man (lets face it however, not all of these situations would be star sportsman going out with young girl - most would simply be lecherous, self gratifying, manipulative loser, going out with gullible young girl that want someone to give them something they're lacking... imo).

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

It sounds like they didn't get into that situation because the supervision and guidance was good.

From my humble experience observing others, where strong messages of right or wrong aren't sent, supervision is poor, self esteem and confidence are lacking (partly stems from how parents of the children deal with things themselves) and parents lack fortitude when it comes to the more challenging parts of parenting, these things happen.

The 14 yo girl in the OP's story appears to have parents that condone the behaviour so it's not surprising the girl had an older man in her sights.

Other young 14yo with different parents wouldn't have entertained the idea, even if they did idolize an adult man (lets face it however, not all of these situations would be star sportsman going out with young girl - most would simply be lecherous, self gratifying, manipulative loser, going out with gullible young girl that want someone to give them something they're lacking... imo).

There are plenty of 'sporting stars' that also shouldn't be trusted at that age and under the same circumstances.

I think being pushed into adulthood too soon is quite sad.

 

[nomadic]

I know this is the coffee lounge and all....but really, this is pretty far off track from the Somers intention for the website of discussing property investment.

Discussing politics and the general economic environment created thus....which affects every property investor in the entire country, with some personality argy bargy thrown in gets shut down......but the discussion of a shag-a-thon between kids is quite OK....

Strange.

I think you'll find lots of threads/posts in the coffee lounge forum are off topic and not remotely related to property investment. I've seen threads in here about sportsmen, TV shows and climate change. I think you'll also find many posters here aren't experienced with posting on forums with lots of members so they feel safer posting these things on a heavily moderated "mum and dad" site which has little diversity because of the regular 40-60 members who post a lot.

 

[natmarie73]

Ok,
Some people i know who are in my sporting club, an 18 yr old guy is dating a 14 yr old girl.

I think the real question here is what has this got to do with you? Is it your daughter or son? If not then so what?

When you are a 14 year old girl having an older boyfriend is the bomb - they have more money, usually have a car, have access to alcohol and all the other things that 14 year old girls think is cool. Hell, both of my best gf's at school had boyfriends way older than 18 when we were 14 and yes they got pregnant and had abortions but you know what? Both are normal happy women now with normal families and relationships.

I sure wouldn't like my 14 year old to have an older boyfriend but I wouldn't judge him on his age alone. For all you know this guy could be a nice genuine guy who respects her and treats her nice.

 

[Aaron_C]

I sure wouldn't like my 14 year old to have an older boyfriend but I wouldn't judge him on his age alone.

Sure that's your call but I think lots of people would be very uncomfortable with it.

For all you know this guy could be a nice genuine guy who respects her and treats her nice.

You could make that argument about anything. That homeless guy who's drinking out of a paper bag may be the nicest guy in the world but would I want to stand near him on the subway? No. Lacks any meaning.

 

[geoffw]

If it was an 18 yo girl and a 14 yo boy would we be having the same conversation?

What if it was a 14yo girl going out with an 18yo girl?

From time to time there are stories about quite young gay people coming out. To me that implies that the young person has been sexually active with both sides and has already decided that they prefer their own gender. This seems foreign to me- as an old fart it's a world away from when I was a youngster.

 

[BayView]

The danger with these relationships is the possibility of an unexpected (and unwanted?) pregnancy, and of course the legal ramifications if the girl is under 16.

There are many young single mums getting around who cope really well with it, and many who don't, and their kids suffer in various ways.

On top of that; the girl (and young man if he stays with her and they form a family) have much tougher important youth years through the responsibility of raising a child.

But, having said all this; young love is immensely strong, and what everyone thinks is often irrelevant and the couple do what they want anyway - with or without permission. Seen it happen..

All you can hope for is that the parents are providing good support and advice about the possibilities - maybe the girls' parents be realistic and have a talk about going on the pill, the boy's parents talk to him about condoms etc.

Some might say this is encouraging them to have sex - it's not; I think it is addressing the probable likelihood and hopefully diverting an unwanted result - a lot like educating kids about the dangers of smoking, or drugs etc.

A lot depends on the maturity of the two concerned as well.

It's a tough one; as a father, I wouldn't want my 14 year old daughter driving around in any cars with any 18 year old, or going out with someone that age.

And if the 14 year old girl is a bit on the wild side and rebellious, to say "NO; you can't see that guy or go out" - she'll just sneak off or run away anyway.

Discussing politics and the general economic environment created thus....which affects every property investor in the entire country, with some personality argy bargy thrown in gets shut down......but the discussion of a shag-a-thon between kids is quite OK....

Strange.

The difference between the two topics (so far; we'll have to see how this one goes....) Dazz, is that the Politics debates almost always degenerate into a personal attack-a-thon and folk start carrying on a bit silly.

I love that the Coffee Lounge affords us all a chance to whine and carry on and get a frustration or three off our chest.

We won't all agree, but that's ok, and it's great fun to get into it. A bit like talk-back radio without all the ads.

 

[geoffw]

I know this is the coffee lounge and all....but really, this is pretty far off track from the Somers intention for the website of discussing property investment.

Discussing politics and the general economic environment created thus....which affects every property investor in the entire country, with some personality argy bargy thrown in gets shut down......but the discussion of a shag-a-thon between kids is quite OK....

Strange.

For people who may have missed this- there is a thread discussing the possibility of a political discussion forum as an alternative to political discussions within Somersoft.

 

[buster]

Absolutely!

14 is 14 whether you are a boy or a girl.

My 18yo son recently wanted to go to his year 12 formal with a girl a few years older than him who was at uni. While I didnt say no, I did question what she was doing with someone still in highschool. I found it weird but at his age not illegal.

I have been told I am slightly overprotective

Nah, girls mature faster than boys, most 14 yr old girls I know are more mature than 18 yr old boys.

 

[Fifth]

Nah, girls mature faster than boys, most 14 yr old girls I know are more mature than 18 yr old boys.

I'm not sure if this is true. Girls certainly mature physically faster than boys, but most 14 year old girls I've met have been far less mature than 18 year old boys/men and about on par with boys their own age.

14 year old girls are often more pretentious (for lack of a better word) than their male counterparts and attempt to give the impression of maturity. For the most part, it is an act.

When I was 14 I was convinced I was mature, as were my friends. We tried so hard to impress people with how mature/worldly/badass we were, but when I look back, we were very ignorant children. We looked older than what we were so people would often make the mistake of assuming the exterior was a representation of the interior. It wasn't.

We dated older boys/men. In retrospect, these boys/men were emotionally stunted, immature individuals who refused to grow up and preferred the company of children to their peers.

I realise that 'maturity' is largely a social construct. In previous eras and other cultures, 14 year olds were/are considered adults and act as thus. They marry, start families, work, etc.. In our society, most 14 year olds behave like children (regardless of whether they're well behaved or rebellious) and frankly I struggle to hold a conversation with most of them.

Within this, it all depends on the individual.

 

[BayView]

When I was 14 I was convinced I was mature, as were my friends. We tried so hard to impress people with how mature/worldly/badass we were, but when I look back, we were very ignorant children. We looked older than what we were so people would often make the mistake of assuming the exterior was a representation of the interior. It wasn't.

And I thought it was just me who was like that!

We dated older boys/men. In retrospect, these boys/men were emotionally stunted, immature individuals who refused to grow up and preferred the company of children to their peers.

I didn't realise you are a she, Fifth.

I remember when I was 14 or 15; dorky, lanky and skinny (still the same - well; a dork at least)...I was in love at various times with a good number of the girls my age...but alas; they were only interested in the Year 11/12 or older guys.

 

[sanj]

Hell, both of my best gf's at school had boyfriends way older than 18 when we were 14 and yes they got pregnant and had abortions but you know what? Both are normal happy women now with normal families and relationships.

What a heartwarming story.

What if they did end up having the kids and, like a lot of young single parents, were not able to do a good job raising them? There are enough degenerates out there made that way by parents who were not ready to raise them.