Defacto & Dating

[Tom84]

Hi Guys,

I've been seeing a girl who wants to move in with me and pay some board set weekly fee that includes bills (As it will also be cheaper option for her but she will maintain the lease on her property renting out her old room at a profit and could move back to her home quite easy on 2weeks notice)

She promises never to make claim for my assets/property but I know this can change in an instant. (I've known her for about a year and quite a few times she has went back on her word.) I've told her we are not in a relationship but I am afraid the law will look at this differently considering we have done many things together over the year even though we both paid our own way and she has never contributed any financial aid to my investing/lifestyle. She quite obviously wants to be in a relationship with me but acknowledges verbally that it's just enjoying the moment together and knows it won't last in the long term (Which I don't think it will due to said issues of trust in the past)

My question is how can I protect myself? Is there a template contract or deed I could have her sign that would protect my interests or would doing something like that solidify my concerns about us turning into a defacto and actually help her case should she try to make claims in the future. I am afraid she may use evidence such as Photo's from a year ago to make it look like we were in a much closer relationship then we were, then try to make some claims that she assisted the household (And the place she visits is my PPOR which is quite valuable 670k+)

I know the easy way is just don't let her move in, however the extra money would be great! And I enjoy her company for the time being even if there isn't a future together. What's the best option to ensure she has no rights over my properties and assets?

 

[thatbum]

From what you've described, it certainly does look like she could give evidence of a de facto relationship existing from a prior date.

My usual advice to people in this situation is as much as possible, do not intermingle your finances and keep the best records you can about who pays for what. Try not to make any joint purchases, and any arrangements like the one you're planning to have a clear written agreement and with market rates.

But you can't have your cake and eat it too - obviously cohabitation is a big factor in determining whether a relationship is de facto - which I think you already know.

 

[thatbum]

Oh, and its also important what she is doing during this "relationship" time.

Does she work? You don't want it to look like you are supporting her in any way, and you have acquiesced to that situation.

 

[Aaron_C]

Look at what 'de facto' means in the ordinary sense. It means people who act as if they are married. Two people sharing a house together, having a physical relationship is prima facie a de facto relationship.

 

[Peter_Tersteeg]

Draw up a lease at fair market rent, collect a bond and lodge it with the bond authority in your state. Collect the rent from her each month. Split the utility bills fairly (you have to pay the connection fee). Maintain separate finances in other aspects of your life.

This makes it fairly clear that her accomidation and living expneses are a separate commercial arrangement.

 

[Ed Barton]

I know the easy way is just don't let her move in, however the extra money would be great! And I enjoy her company for the time being even if there isn't a future together. What's the best option to ensure she has no rights over my properties and assets?

Get a flatmate (of gender that you are not attracted to) for the extra money and continue as you were.

 

[Ideo]

Wait. Do you have any emotional attachment with this person what so ever?

 

[Ed Barton]

This makes it fairly clear that her accomidation and living expneses are a separate commercial arrangement and I imagine it would be difficult to argue otherwise.

Until she falls pregnant.

 

[Ed Barton]

Get a cat, that will give you company.

 

[kathryn d]

Just don't do it.
The writing is on the wall, and you are pretending you don't see it, just for the sake of a few "friend benefits".
If she wants to rent a cheaper place, do it somewhere else, and if you need that extra money, take in someone else.

She has already shown you she goes back on her word, and you stated she obviously wants to be in a relationship.
...beware of an accidental pregnancy too.

 

[travelbug]

I know the easy way is just don't let her move in, however the extra money would be great! And I enjoy her company for the time being even if there isn't a future together. What's the best option to ensure she has no rights over my properties and assets?

yep that would be my suggestion.
You say she's not honest yet you want to risk your house trusting her.
You say you are not in a relationship yet you say you are seeing a girl and you do lots of things together? Sounds like a relationship to me. it wouldn't stand up in court if it came to that.
If she wants a relationship with you and you dump her is she going to walk away without claiming? Big risk. What if you meet someone else?

Get someone else as a boarder and continue your (non) relationship.

 

[Terry_w]

My question is how can I protect myself? Is there a template contract or deed I could have her sign that would protect my interests or would doing something like that solidify my concerns about us turning into a defacto and actually help her case should she try to make claims in the future.

There are basically 2 areas of concern
1. Family Law
2. Succession Law

With family law you should read the definition in the Family Law Act, s4AA
http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4aa.html

With succession laws these may be a bit broader, and even if not a defacto she could be classed as a dependent maybe and you would be in a close personal relationship s 57 Succession Act
http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/consol_act/sa2006138/s57.html

The way to protect yourself is to:
1. Remain celibate, and
2. not live with, or have a close relationship with anyone.

You could also try a binding financial agreement which is basically a prenup for the family law side of things. These will cost thousands to set up.

 

[Peter_Tersteeg]

Until she falls pregnant.

But that never happens!

Living with you or not, if that happens you're screwed.

Frankly though, if you don't trust her, you shouldn't be in any sort of relationship with her.

 

[Tom84]

Oh, and its also important what she is doing during this "relationship" time.

Does she work? You don't want it to look like you are supporting her in any way, and you have acquiesced to that situation.

She works and rents a place in the city herself not far from me, Would a handwritten contract be suffice? I rent my other room out under a "boarding arrangement" (basically hand written contract that says 2weeks notice to leave, 2 week bond, weekly rent xxx) etc

I'm thinking doing the same for her to make it more official? Are their any templates for people who just want to extra flatmates to board? (I know most people don't want to lodge official leases due to tax reasons)

 

[sanj]

Do a an old fashioned pros and cons list.

If, at the end of that exercise, you still feel that having a girl you're seeing move in who you freely admit you have no future with is a good idea then i suspect no one here will really be able to help you.

 

[lizzie]

Did no one else pick up on the info that she is intending to "sublet" her place out?

What does her landlord think about that? What if she doesn't tell her landlord, is given notice for breach and ends up "with nowhere else to go"?

Sorry, but (to me) it sounds like the girl is putting pressure on you to undertake something you don't want to do and it sounds sneaky and suspicious. I'd be running a mile.

What financial assets does she have? What are her spending habits/income like?

Granted, hubby and I moved in together but we both had equal amounts to lose (both had relatively equal ppor's, vehicle's and cash) and we had a "prenup" drawn up detailing what each of us bought into the relationship and would take out of the relationship if it broke up ... I guess after 14 years and the $$ multiplier affect it's no longer overly valid

As other's have suggested - if you need the extra cash then get in a non-related boarder - and she can do the same.

 

[kathryn d]

The OP seems determined to potentially lose everything.
She must be a good r***.

 

[Terry_w]

But that never happens!

Living with you or not, if that happens you're screwed.

Pun intended?

 

[Terry_w]

She must be a good r***.

Legal jargon?

 

[pinkboy]

The OP seems determined to potentially lose everything.
She must be a good r***.

The OP lives between Sydney and Bangkok, and single out this woman?

If I were him, I would take her in, and to gaurantee it wasnt a defacto relationship, Id be having over a few 'other' acquantences throughout the week!

pinkboy