You ever met a woman who slept with a super ugly dude cause he had a 'good personality'? Didn't think so. Physical attraction is always there on some level. It's more important to some than others, but it's always there.
Does a 10 year old age gap make a material impact?
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You ever met a woman who slept with a super ugly dude cause he had a 'good personality'? Didn't think so. Physical attraction is always there on some level. It's more important to some than others, but it's always there.
True. But you put two blokes together that are equally confident and relaxed around women and she's not going to date the ugly guy cause he has a good personality.
Seen it too many times to count. Afterwards the girls always say: "Oh, he's so cute though" and start listing his ugly features as being endearing. I can assure you those weren't their natural reactions. Women tend to backwards rationalise their decisions and why they made them. You'll find most women explain all their past relationships as being exceptions to their rule.
As for all other things being equal, women would choose a better looking guy over an average or ugly looking guy. But the bias is slight, and by choosing I mean women decide between "no" and "maybe" when they meet a guy. So you might get a "maybe" based on your looks, but that can become a "no" the second you open your mouth.
Whereas for guys, the bias is rather big and there's not as much a woman can do if a man doesn't find her to be attractive.
Oh, and all other things are never equal anyway. Once she spends an hour talking to each guy, looks are totally and completely irrelevant. I'd say even after 10 minutes. Is there a preference? Yes. Does it make any actual difference? Only if you believe it does.
The best ladies men I know are often very unattractive.
Edit: Any ladies care to comment on this?
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...and remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
What one person may find attractive is not necessarily that for the rest to follow.
Personally, speaking only for myself...as a female...attraction to guys, content always, always wins. Character, temperament, values, sense of humor, all that stuff..that you take pride in yourself, whatever the deal life/universe has given you to work with.
Nightclubs or bars are not my personal flavor of choice for meeting the opposite sex, it's been through network/my sphere of living and hobbies, friends..I do think regional/rural living is a very different beast to the dynamics of metro life. But, it is what it is.
I just love my country guys, the rural boys, the farmers...rural life. You really (tend to) get a sense of the person, before any relationship starts or gets more serious.
Age difference...well, I tend to think, is a problem where people make it a problem.
What one person may find attractive is not necessarily that for the rest to follow.
Personally, speaking only for myself...as a female...attraction to guys, content always, always wins. Character, temperament, values, sense of humor, all that stuff..that you take pride in yourself, whatever the deal life/universe has given you to work with.
Nightclubs or bars are not my personal flavor of choice for meeting the opposite sex, it's been through network/my sphere of living and hobbies, friends..I do think regional/rural living is a very different beast to the dynamics of metro life. But, it is what it is.
I just love my country guys, the rural boys, the farmers...rural life. You really (tend to) get a sense of the person, before any relationship starts or gets more serious.
Age difference...well, I tend to think, is a problem where people make it a problem.
Plenty! They tend to be the non-shallow and stuck up woman/girls who take people at face value and don't judge on looks.
Also it has a lot to do with charisma and sex appeal. Ugly people can ooze confidence and sex appeal too.
Hmmm, I think a man in a nice suit who has put a bit of effort in to the overall look is attractive. Look, if he's got really bad skin or something I might take a step back but if it's just big ears or something I'm willing to give him a go. That's a bit of 'survival of the fittest' I guess, as a reproductive woman, I ultimately want healthy offspring. Aren't things ok as long as you are 'symetrical'??
Heck, I'm no gorgeous knockout so I don't want a Brad Pitt, I just want a Matt Day
Now, I've forgotten what the question was...
Heck, I'm no gorgeous knockout so I don't want a Brad Pitt, I just want a Matt Day
Now, I've forgotten what the question was...
As OO says 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. In simpler terms there aren't only 2 groups... the ugly and the goodlooking.
I also think attraction comes first but whether that attraction continues or not depends on how they behave and what comes out of their mouths in the minutes after meeting.
Then again what I would consider a an attractive w***** others would consider a catch.
I also think attraction comes first but whether that attraction continues or not depends on how they behave and what comes out of their mouths in the minutes after meeting.
Then again what I would consider a an attractive w***** others would consider a catch
.
I totally agree with you, garygoodbloke.
An example from my own experience: Sacha Baron-Cohen. Is he attractive? Not in any conventional way that I'm aware of. But I find him hilarious, and after hearing him interviewed, I also think he's intelligent and I like his world view. Now I think he's just yummy.
And he's got Isla Fisher; she's gorgeous. Women's perception of attractiveness is definitely influenced by personality.Conversely, I used to think Tom Cruise was absolutely gorgeous, but the past decade... not so much.
Why? Because I now perceive that he's quite a strange person.Agreed. Of the few women I know who have trouble finding "good blokes", most are the kind whose criteria include height, hair colour, and eye colour.
Those who have no "physical type" but know which qualities they want in a life partner, are mostly happily settled with a man who meets those criteria. (No offence intended to single ladies; there are exceptions!)Men are definitely much more influenced by appearance than women, when initially sizing up a prospective romantic partner. That's not a criticism or judgement of men; it's just the way it is.
As an apparently attractive woman I have to say that Gary is right. Women are able to see past the ordinary looks of a charismatic man. Then we say, "but he's cute!" Remember the definition of "cute" being "ugly but interesting?"
As an apparently attractive woman I have to say that Gary is right. Women are able to see past the ordinary looks of a charismatic man. Then we say, "but he's cute!" Remember the definition of "cute" being "ugly but interesting?"
OMG!! Is that what "cute" means? Really?
I get that all the time. Oh, the pain of it all!
Definately attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and it doesn't have so much to do with "looks" as much as it does to do with pheremones and other chemical reactions that happen when you meet someone who attracts you and then they become good looking to you. A guy can be super hot to one woman and not to another. A man who I think is attractive my friends usually won't and vice versa, and no matter how hot he is, if he turns out to be a ****** then that usually ends any attraction on my part.
And yes, getting hit on continuously after politely saying "sorry not interested I have a boyfriend" gets VERY annoying very quickly and while I try to remain polite and friendly so as not to hurt the poor guys feelings there comes the time when the line is crossed and then I have to get snappy. I would never tell a guy to **** off though unless he is drunk and sleazing all over me and not getting the hint and even then I would say it politely.
And as a member of society I shouldn't have to stay at home or go to friends places to have a drink. Suggesting that is like saying a woman should wear a burqua when she leaves the house so she doesn't get raped. It is up to you men to take no for an answer and respect that. If a woman is interested she will let you know and if she isn't then there are plenty of other fish in the sea so to speak.
And yes, getting hit on continuously after politely saying "sorry not interested I have a boyfriend" gets VERY annoying very quickly and while I try to remain polite and friendly so as not to hurt the poor guys feelings there comes the time when the line is crossed and then I have to get snappy. I would never tell a guy to **** off though unless he is drunk and sleazing all over me and not getting the hint and even then I would say it politely.
And as a member of society I shouldn't have to stay at home or go to friends places to have a drink. Suggesting that is like saying a woman should wear a burqua when she leaves the house so she doesn't get raped. It is up to you men to take no for an answer and respect that. If a woman is interested she will let you know and if she isn't then there are plenty of other fish in the sea so to speak.
C'mon Rob..just remember that "Beauty is only a light switch away"
GOLD, consider it stolen.
And as Ozperp was saying about Sacha Baron-Cohen - he's got Isla Fisher. This totally reminds me of one other point, if you want to know the world record, hands-down, easiest and most direct way to have gorgeous women following you in droves it's this: have loads of really attractive women as your FRIENDS and I mean friends. I don't mean, cute girls who aren't attracted to you but you try to sleep with them when drunk, I mean real, genuine, authentic friends - you can't fake this one.
This has two benefits. Firstly, you'll have another friend (worthwhile in and of itself, btw). Secondly, you'll suddenly become attractive to every other woman. Especially if you're ugly. If you're good-looking, then the other girls will say: "Duh, of course they like him, he's hot" and explain it away like that. But if you aren't so attractive, then they'll say: "OMG, what is it about him? What's his secret, I have to find out..."
Women are generally not competitive. When it comes to other women though, they are extraordinarily competitive. That's what fashion is really about, btw. So make a whole group of gorgeous women your friends and go out with them. Become their protector in bars and social situations and do nice things for them but DON'T be a kiss-***. Just be a good friend.
Think of it like applying for a loan. Once you're approved by one bank, you're immediately seen as safe by the others. It's a chick thing, just accept it.
Oh, and men definitely choose women based on looks. It takes more than that to keep the guy around but men are ridiculously visual and therefore have a hard time understanding that women are not. Likewise for women trying to understand how most men don't usually care about personality much in the beginning.
Nothing wrong with it, as Ozperp says, it's simply the way it is. Doesn't make women deeper than men or men shallower or more superficial than women, it's just how we're wired. Mainly because sex has almost no negative consequences for men (not throughout our evolution anyway, I know we can get STDs but I don't believe we're hard-wired to worry about it much).
Whereas women have to worry tremendously about who they sleep with. Why? Because they have a lot of potentially negative outcomes that could arise from sex, including pregnancy, social standing and loss of reputation. Weigh that against the (often non-existent) joy of the act itself, and you can see why they take the time to figure out what you're about.
Even a girl looking for a one night stand will choose a guy that would be a good provider and protector, even though she doesn't plan on needing it. My take is that it's hard-wired from evolution.
But you can ignore the theories, just be honest about what you actually see and hear. And don't forget that seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing. So if you believe you need looks to get a girl, then you'll be lonely for a long time unless you consider yourself to be ridiculously good-looking.
Sorry couldn't resist.
Well this has turned out to be a far more interesting thread than from my humble first question. Appreciate everyone's considered judgement and opinions.
Update: It's over
No, no, just kidding.....
It has become quite obvious from our interaction that the age issue is almost irrelevant. What was my issue again?
The distance will be a far more difficult challenge as many others have said, but at this stage, we'll let the practicalities of that issue for another day. Plus work needs me to be in Sydney. A well argued case by myself to my manager...There is an undoubted spark & chemistry there. My left brain is keeping my relatively happy state in check for now. I admit this is only very early and its supposed to be like this, well except for the 1000kms distance.
Going up there again in a fortnight and then again in another fortnight after that for work. She is planning a March Melbourne trip. Who knows where this will end up? Ah, the possibilities......
Maybe Player was right, I need to purchase an IP in Syd. The Vic land tax is starting to bite.
So, we should not approach a lady / girl unless she is smiling or making googoo eyes to show she is alredy interested ? Is that what you said ?
Well if you only go for the obviously desperate ones, there's little chance that she's not available, boyfriend or not. I don't see any problem there, since all the respectable single ladies, are the ones that look at you like this when they first see you:
Pretty much. Body signals are really very obvious if you take the time to observe and learn them. Just google body language attraction and you'll get plenty of examples of signals women make when they are open to meeting a man or not - they'll look at you in the eye, smile and flirt either from across the room or after you introduce yourself to them. If a woman meets your look, doesn't smile and looks away then she is most probably not interested. A chick who is out to meet guys will usually look around the room at the available talent and not spend all her time concentrating on chatting to her friend.
That said, I know guys who just play the odds and proposition every woman they think will put out and most times they do end up taking someone home, so you never know.
