BTW, Buzzlightyear, you still there? I'm sure we'd all love to hear from you about how it's going.
Okay, so it looks like we have the traditional Aussie thread on dating and relationships, the general ballet goes as follows:
- It kicks off with an innocent question involving dating and/or relationships and/or sex
- Next we have some genuine advice and fresh questions
- Then enters some politically incorrect and maybe even gender biased advice,, either way, something not strictly mainstream in thinking
- Then enters the counterpoint to the previous advice.
- Then, and this one is not optional, a man will complain about the difficulty of meeting Aussie women, or the woman will complain about the difficulty of finding a decent guy.
- In response to the men, the women will say it's easier for guys and the men will say Aussie women are stuck up and impossible to talk to
- Some men will say they meet women from other cultures, the women will say they're just as happy alone
- The men will scoff their disbelief that women could be happy alone and the women will accuse the men of choosing a dimwitted woman who is only interested in their money
- Next the men defend their women of other cultures and cite their intelligence and warmth as their strong points, they'll counter that the older single women are not truly happy and will recall real-life observations that prove older women are secretly desperate
- The happily married or long term relationship people will pop their head up, scan the terrain and conclude that both sides are nuts and way off, then they'll log off to watch tele with their significant others
- The debate gets more heated as men start blaming women for the undesirable characteristics they find in men and women will claim it's mostly a myth and those behaviors don't apply to them. Specifically, the women will say they are friendly, warm and open to guys and that they don't know anyone who is rude to men.
- Someone will pipe up, tell the men to grow a pair and to take responibility for their own happiness and to deal with rejection and not to take it personally. They'll admit that they don't have any answers for women.
So, guys, grow a pair. You went and spoke to a woman and she wasn't friendly. So then you stomped your feet, started to sulk, picked up your ball and hollered at the top of your voice: "If you're not going to play nice, then I'm not going to play at all" and stormed off of the playground.
Result: You're not happy, she's not happy.
Look, I used to be in that camp. No girls and I blamed them for making it hard for me. Don't do that, it may give you some sick sense of comfort (as it did for me) to play the victim, but it's juvenile and won't help anything.
Look, rejection is not personal. And if it is, so what? So she wasn't into you, great. She's just saved you an incredible amount of time you would've otherwise wasted if she didn't reject you out of being polite. Besides, rejection doesn't exist, take it as valuable feedback.
Now, this statement may get me in trouble, but I don't believe women are ever saying "no", I just believe they're saying: "not yet". So, if I go to kiss a girl and she turns me down. I smile, laugh, tell her she's into me and try again later. I don't sulk, I don't get upset, I just understand she isn't ready yet. If she didn't like me, she would leave and I would read it in her body language. I don't try to kiss girls who don't like me.
So, go over, chat to the girl and know that if you're doing your job properly, you'll get 3 flat rejections out of 10, 4 so-so reactions, 2 girls who are interested and one girl who will be really damn keen. Oh, and it doesn't matter how negative their body language is when you walk up.
Even the mean ones, they're glad you tried and you'll make a lot of girls feel desired. Aussie women like it just as much as European women - they're just not used to having it happen, so stop blaming them.
As for the ones who are rude or mean, they may have just had a nasty breakup, they might be lesbians, they might be in a horrible mood, they might have been raped a week ago, they might... it could go on forever, just stop making it personal to yourself.
It's wonderful being a guy so it pisses me off to hear Aussie guys playing the victim card. Guys, we can do whatever we want and chase girls and we're not judged negatively for it. This isn't true for women. If you think how this effects everything else, then you should realise that the deck is stacked ridiculously in our favour.
We can go up and talk to any woman and she'll love it. Women constantly have to worry about being labeled a sl*t (unfairly, imo, but that's simply the reality) and have to protect their reputation and worry about what friends/family will think. We don't. They also have to (from evolution) deal with all the negative consequences of sex which, until very very recently, had a significantly high chance of leading to death during pregnancy for women.
So can't you imagine why women want to test you to check you're a legitimate guy with good intentions.
Oh and look at how their body language is responding, not what they're saying. My personal favourite is when I hear: "We shouldn't do this" that's when I know it's on. I prefer to say that first, it always gets a laugh and they know two things: that you really know what's going on and that it's on.
So, I know that covered a lot of ground. But I honestly feel like slapping Aussie guys with a but hefty mullet across the face when they complain about Aussie women or the difficulty of meeting women.
Guys, it is far trickier for girls and you just have to grow a thick skin - it's worth it.
For girls, I don't know what to do if you can't find a guy. I'd just say to adopt a hobby that has a lot of guys there - like rock climbing, it's also a good workout and you'll have your pick of the blokes. Otherwise I'm pretty useless. The website I run is designed for helping men not women.
Oh and if you see a cute girl you want to meet, here's your default:
Go up to the girl, get her attention and look around like you're really confused and say: "Hey, did you invite all these people? I thought it was just going to be you and me" works well in any public place with people around.
If she's with another girl, walk up and say: "Oh, this is so cute, first date?" and point to both of them.
If they;re rude, they've disqualified themselves and you can just say: "No sense of humour huh? That's a shame. Pleasure meeting you." and walk away. Always be polite, it's not her fault if she wasn't raised with good manners or is having a bad day.
