Went out to a function last night with friends and - their friends who we've not met before. He was nice, she was one of those who wants to know what restaurants/countries you've been to, then tells you all night about the one she has been to....andI've come across this ploy before, whenyou attempt to add to the conversation, she says nothing. In other words, what you have done,seen,eaten is not worth comenting on. How do you deal with these sort of people
How do you deal with?
- Thread starter fernfurn
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Just keep quiet and laugh in your head
Probably some loser with low self confidence and dead end.job, whom not many respect her,
Since she is probably no good at anything in life, she has to make herself feel.better by boasting avout where she has been
And when you mention where you have been, she feels threatened
I meet many people like this all the time
I would find the first excuse to mingle with someone else. Of course, if you are stuck with this person, you just have to suffer through the night and make sure next time your friends invite you out that this bore isn't going to be there, or if she is, that you are not stuck at a table for a whole night with her. If she is, then make up an excuse. You have to file your toenails that night, don't you? 
Smile politely and ignore.
If you are bored and there's no one to talk to, try to ask so many detailed questions until they get sick of you. All at a constant pace. It causes initial elation, which leads to confusion, then they get sick of you. They usually make an excuse and go elsewhere. That should be your aim. Do it at the start of night and problem solved.
If you are bored and there's no one to talk to, try to ask so many detailed questions until they get sick of you. All at a constant pace. It causes initial elation, which leads to confusion, then they get sick of you. They usually make an excuse and go elsewhere. That should be your aim. Do it at the start of night and problem solved.
The world is not so linear.
There are numerous possibilities, from just potential social 'unpleasantness/snootyness' to certain kinds of mental illnesses.
Never be to quick to judge.
There are numerous possibilities, from just potential social 'unpleasantness/snootyness' to certain kinds of mental illnesses.
Never be to quick to judge.
I was stuck in the middle of a table of 6 at a banquet dinner and yes I have my ways of dealing with these people, I just wanted some new creative ideas So thank you Dave, good idea, I could have gone to the loo and come back and subtly moved others along and sat elsewhere but I do like Impala 67. She told me at least 10 times how all her friends lived in Sorrento as if that meant somehting (???) if I had then asked her intense questions about what sort of house and what street, she might have got the message. Same with Turkey, because I hadnt been, she went on and on about how fabulous it was. I countered with yes I love Greece, ra ra and she then said "had we been to Sicily?" No, Oh well that is the most fab place!" I mean the first time, you politely ask a few questions, but by the third or fourth time, gee, get a life, move on. Once I started conversations with her husband opposite and our other friends, she had virtually no other conversation. I think she had decided I was a pleblian because I chose to drink beer (imported mind!) and she had to shut up a bit when I mentioned the latest books and films I had seen. Gosh don't get me started! (ha ha)
Oh yes I've been to Sorrento in Italy...whattt you mean there's one in Victoria?
LOL
I sometimes use a psychological trick whereby I deliberately misinterpret a word and launch off into a story about the misinterpretation.
It messes with their minds, and amuses me at the same time.
It messes with their minds, and amuses me at the same time.
^ ^ what he said.
We don't enjoy them either. I'm much more a dinner party with six friends type of person. I hate small talk with people I don't know and won't see again. I'm fairly shy in crowds. And to be stuck at a table with people you don't like... reminds me of family gatherings at the in-laws
I am very ashamed to say - I was that bore back in my 30's - and it has everything to do with insecurity and shy-ness - and nothing to do with big noting.
Unfortunately it took more than a couple of afterwards "I am so embarrassed about how I behaved" moments to actually wake up to myself ... but increased self-esteem, and purpose in life, also helped a lot.
Doesn't help that my 30's was a pretty awful time in my life with hubby's "successful" ex constantly undermining me and he, being a bloke, ignoring it. I later learnt that the undermining was a sign of insecurity as well. Interesting how life turns out. Combined that with insecurity in formal situations (my ex used to spend the whole evening openly flirting with every other female in the room) and a childhood of seeking approval ... yep ... I was an embarrassing bore.
Now I make a real concerted effort to engage people about themselves.
So - perhaps - next time - instead of judging them as nothing more than a bore (which maybe they are) - have some compassion.
Unfortunately it took more than a couple of afterwards "I am so embarrassed about how I behaved" moments to actually wake up to myself ... but increased self-esteem, and purpose in life, also helped a lot.
Doesn't help that my 30's was a pretty awful time in my life with hubby's "successful" ex constantly undermining me and he, being a bloke, ignoring it. I later learnt that the undermining was a sign of insecurity as well. Interesting how life turns out. Combined that with insecurity in formal situations (my ex used to spend the whole evening openly flirting with every other female in the room) and a childhood of seeking approval ... yep ... I was an embarrassing bore.
Now I make a real concerted effort to engage people about themselves.
So - perhaps - next time - instead of judging them as nothing more than a bore (which maybe they are) - have some compassion.
Its very interesting, after talking to a couple of friends about this (it really did upset me) I have come to the conclusion that she must be very insecure and felt threatened by my "success". I have made a resolution to be very understanding if I have to be in her company again. (Of course if she continues on with this crap she will cop it!)
Stop going to functions
There are some seriously messed up individuals out there and it really deadens my faith in humanity when I come across these types. So, I stopped going to functions where I can and only see people I know who are good and I enjoy.
Most of the time there's another reason you never thought of why they do what they do and it's usually nothing like you think but I still find it frustrating.
There are some seriously messed up individuals out there and it really deadens my faith in humanity when I come across these types. So, I stopped going to functions where I can and only see people I know who are good and I enjoy.
Most of the time there's another reason you never thought of why they do what they do and it's usually nothing like you think but I still find it frustrating.
