PS, Well said Lizzie
How do you deal with?
- Thread starter fernfurn
- Start date
Completely agree with this.
I have a dear friend who lately has started talking incessantly about herself without even realising and after pulling her up on it we've deduced that it's simply from her being stressed lately and worrying about a multitude of things, so verbal diarrhoea is her side-effect of coping. So I'm to pull her up on it when she does it as she always does it without realising.
eg.
She says: How was your day?
I say: Yeah, I had an interesting chat with my boss today about Holden stopping production in Australia -
She cuts me off: I had a convo about *insert something completely regardless here* with boss too. My boss told me XYZ and then this affected my mood in ABC and it reminded me of QRS etc etc etc...
The difference with some people, is that it becomes so habitual that they don't ever evolve past that way of thinking and consequently stay in that frame of mind where they feel most comfortable - talking about themselves.
Just because someone may not be as comfortable in their own skins as you and therefore talk too much doesn't mean you should instantly disregard them. I mean, if you really have no desire to network, learn from other people (even if it's how you'd prefer not to act/think) make new friends and enjoy moments of being a social creature when out and about with friends and acquaintances, then don't bother and leave.
But otherwise I see this situation as an opportunity to practise your own public speaking and persuasion skills and guide the conversation towards your preference. You can only ever control your own actions and emotions - so guide the convo using your charisma and talent with words.
I'm extremely ashamed to say, that I too have been like this since the age of 4-1/2.
You see, for me, it has nothing to do with insecurity, nor shyness, nor being a bore.
I simply have very long arms, and have dreadful table manners, flapping around like a chook. Don't laugh you B*******, it's true. It's got worse since going to pre-school.
Now, when I go out to functions, I break into a cold sweat when those inconsiderate restaurants jam the seating really close together.
It usually only takes 5 or 10 minutes tops, to completely alienate the people sitting next to me with my boring stories. When they eventually move and never return, it's simply fabbo. All the elbow room in the world to flap away unhindered by other elbows.
You guys are so judgemental. It's a physical defect. I blame my mother's side of the family. Gorilla's the lot of 'em.
Good to see people are owning up to their problems, it's good to get the stuff out there. I was just saying to a mate the other day, telling him what this crazy lady did when I was out at a bar and I said "she must have a mental illness" he said "don't we all? it's just the degree that varies" which is kinda true.. We all have our problems. Would be cool to make a new thread about this actually.
I think the world would be a better place if we could only stop being so selfish whenever we run into this kinda stuff. We automatically think that they're just doing it to be spiteful etc etc but in reality, they're most likely either struggling with inner demons or worrying about themselves thinking YOU'RE out to get them!
I think the world would be a better place if we could only stop being so selfish whenever we run into this kinda stuff. We automatically think that they're just doing it to be spiteful etc etc but in reality, they're most likely either struggling with inner demons or worrying about themselves thinking YOU'RE out to get them!
