Poor telesales guy tries to flog me a property scam - hilarity ensues!

Got a call today about 6.30pm

HIM (english accent): Hello, i'm blah blah calling from something XXXX Group (company of well known Australian direct marketer) or suchlike I think...I don't want to sell you anything.

ME: Really, so what is this, a social call? Calling to see how my grandmother is or what I made for dinner? How nice..

HIM: Err, uhhh....actually sir, we're calling to offer you the chance to help use the tax you pay to create investment opportunities instead, it's all sanctioned by the government of course.

ME: Government, which government?

HIM: Ummm, errr, the Australian one I believe.

ME (starting to enjoy myself): okay, tell me more

HIM: Yes, well first I ask you some questions to see if you qualify.

ME: Qualify for what.

HIM: For the ummm, ahhh, errr access to the investments we have to offer.

ME: Where are you calling from?

HIM: New Zealand

ME: Are you a backpacker?

HIM: Yes

ME: Soooo, is this what Mr fabulous direct marketer (well known in Australia) is up to nowadays, flogging off the plan properties for developers under the pretence of wealth creation.

HIM: Ummm, errr, i'm not sure what you're talking about.

ME: Using New Zealand call centres. He always was an innovator!

HIM: Do you know him?

ME: Don't tell me, I bet you go around telling everyone that property doubles every seven to ten years like clockwork, right? So, let's cut to the chase, you're an english backpacker in a New Zealand call centre trying to book meetings with stooges...I mean, investors

HIM: Umm, ahhh, well actually, we just get a 'financial advisor' to come out to you and run you through the process.

ME: You mean, he's going to show me how to use negative gearing, tax variations etc coupled with carefully selected properties that your expert team has chosen that are guaranteed to double within 7 to 10 years, right?

HIM: Ummm, ahhh, we just arrange investments so that you can take care of your superannuation for you know, retirement and stuff like that.

ME: And don't tell me, your 'financial advisor' and I use the term in the loosest sense in the world because both you and I know that said company is not operating under an Australian Financial Services Provider License and therefore should not be providing advice in any way shape or form can also arrange the finance and property management, etc...

HIM: Ummm, errrrr, it sounds like you don't need our services.

ME: Yes, yes indeed, perhaps it would be a good idea that you remove me from your database.

HIM: Errrr, yep, sorry to disturb you, have a good evening
 
I feel so sorry for all the telemarketers in the world. What a crappy job.

I usually just say "sorry not interested" and hang up.
 
Very nice response. I usually handball the phone over to the boys (13 &15YO) and listen in. They have a lot of fun with them:D
 
ME: And don't tell me, your 'financial advisor' and I use the term in the loosest sense in the world because both you and I know that said company is not operating under an Australian Financial Services Provider License and therefore should not be providing advice in any way shape or form can also arrange the finance and property management, etc...

Should name and shame, so that no one else is likely to get caught out! (But then again, if you get hooked by guys ringing you up wanting to show you how to become rich, you should take a long hard look at yourself and give yourself a slap)

The only way I will fall for this type of phonecall is when I get a call from Gold Lotto, asking me which bank account I would like my $10M winnings deposited into!:)

Cheers,

F
 
Aww, you get all the good calls :(

All I've had is about 15 calls (in the last 3 weeks) from Travelbug offering me a discount 10 nights discount accommodation and about 40+ from Telstra offering to upgrade my business phone line (I don't have a business phone line) to a plan that costs more than what I currently spend. And maybe 3 or 4 other random calls that were business targeted. One charity called me twice, two days in a row.

Telstra are by far the most annoying - they were calling on my redirected line that was listed in the yellow pages (no calls now our yellow pages ad lapsed) so I had to pay for the redirected call and would just cut them short. One telemarketer wouldn't give up and CALLED ME BACK THREE TIMES when I hung up on him. After explaining he was calling a redirected number and I was paying for the call from Sydney.

Why can't they just call you once? They either call you several dozen times or not at all!
 
I used to receive those Telstra calls on my landline.

I had to explain to the poor telemarketer that there was nothing the big T could do for me, how I had no faith or trust in them and how all the services they were trying to offer me were inferior to the ones I was currently using.

She muttered "ummm, it sounds like there's nothing we can do for you" and then hung up on me!

I have not heard from them since :)
 
Oh I'm cruel to telemarketers, mainly the international ones, not the Aussies. A lady I work with had a list she got from somewhere about things to say to telemarketers, we had a few laughs with this at work. I remember doing the one where I kept saying "I'm sorry I don't speak English" (in English). The guy was totally confused. :D
 
I'll never forget the time a telemarketer called a workmate who then preceded to have phone sex with her! I was in tears listening in on that one.

She called back everyday at the same time and used to listen for his voice.
 
hehehe nice one Mal...! normally the suckers - sorry, i mean potential investors - are screened to be renters or wannabeFHOs.

did you put you name on some "win a house and land package" thingo at a supermarket?
 
I got a similar call last week on my mobile, at work.

Caller sounded like an automated robotic voice, but was a real person.

He said he was from Global Financial something or other, or similar.

Mentioned something about property investing and then asked me if I owned or rented my home.. Hmmm... owned I said cautiously.

HIM: Do you own outright or mortgaged and if so how much equity do you have in your home?

ME: ummm why do you want to know this?

Him: we need to see if you qualify for our fantastic investing system blah blah blah........

Me: I dont wish to be rude but frankly its non of your business what my financial situation is and I'm not going to tell anyone I dont know over the phone my personal financial details.

HIM: but I need to................

Me: goodbye.......

I dont know where he got my number from, but obviously somewhere along the line I have given it out. I never give out my home number, always my mobile as it can be switched off and if they are stupid enough to pay the mobile phone rates.......
 
i got the same call last week , told the guy what i do and he said so i dont think i can help you , agreed and hung up!
same pommy bloke too! maybe we are on a rich list at the bank:D i wish......
 
Top