That is all!
The more you have...the harder it is to find love?
- Thread starter shim
- Start date
That is all!
Yes...I would like to...but it's definitely not "the only reason" to go for someone, I would never do that to myself.
If I fall for a guy with nothing and I love him, I would still marry him. If I had to give up my all so the person I love would be happy...I would do that too.
In my previous paragraph I mentioned how I was happier when no money was involved in the relationship...we managed to find things to do which doesn't cost money. It wasn't until we started earning money, things got complicated
I assumed that money was the problem...hence thought that if i am able to find someone with similar money, income and wealth, then at least money wouldn't be a problem. But who knows? There will be other problems...life is never perfect
If I fall for a guy with nothing and I love him, I would still marry him. If I had to give up my all so the person I love would be happy...I would do that too.
In my previous paragraph I mentioned how I was happier when no money was involved in the relationship...we managed to find things to do which doesn't cost money. It wasn't until we started earning money, things got complicated
I assumed that money was the problem...hence thought that if i am able to find someone with similar money, income and wealth, then at least money wouldn't be a problem. But who knows? There will be other problems...life is never perfect
No. She/Him = Shim = Ladyboy
Though if Shim is Korean, it's possible she is genuine.
Though not a lot of Korean permanent migrants in Australia.
Easy to say, but reality is generally different. I totally agree with that you should be looking for positive personality traits first wealth second.... but denying your physically programmed desires for safety and security which income and wealth provides (generally) is a joke.
I know its harsh but im not going to consider a girl who is just going to be a massive financial burden no matter how good the sex lol.
Regards,
RH
Fact is you have to exclude the vast majority of people, sad but true.
So being a fish out of water is the norm not the exception.
Most blokes talk up lots of BS but run from any type of financial responsibility.
And I don't think it has anything to do with money and everything with attitude.
And I doubt you will find what your looking for in a bar. Go there by all means, but just enjoy the place for what it is and nothing more.
Take your friends for what they are as well, they are what they (not you) want them to be.
Instead look at meeting as many people as possible doing the things you like to do and would like someone else to also be interested in.
Another very important point, don't be asking any guy about worth, wealth or assets, job or income. And that you don't come out talking about yours.
I can assure you that women with "checklists" can be spotted a mile away by smart guys.
And yes it takes till 24-25 to realise you are no longer a teenager. It's normal.
Just for you Shim
PS: what made you choose that username?
All About Men - By a Woman
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank, heaven, are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
PS: what made you choose that username?
All About Men - By a Woman
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank, heaven, are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Well someones gotta ask the question what happened after that ?..
I love these articles
Interesting convo that went something like this between myself and this very plain girl who thought she was wayyyy too good. You know the type. 19, skinny, working in retail clothing, who is derisive about anyone not in the "cool" crowd:Girl: "There are no good guys around here. I want a guy to look after me. I want him to be hot, and have a good job, and a house, and ambition, and a nice car, and to cook, and be educated. Oh and he has to be tall, and not too old, and smart, and funny, and come from a good family"
OA: "uhuh. anything else?"
Girl: "and he has to be loyal, and faithful, and buy me presents, and take me to dinner, and dancing, and like my friends, and accept me as I am"
OA: "Sounds good. Can I ask you a question?"
Girl: "okay"
OA: "So even if you did meet this guy who could do all of that stuff that you're talking about...what the hell would he want to date you for?"
...and then the fight started
In my previous paragraph I mentioned how I was happier when no money was involved in the relationship...we managed to find things to do which doesn't cost money. It wasn't until we started earning money, things got complicated
I assumed that money was the problem...hence thought that if i am able to find someone with similar money, income and wealth, then at least money wouldn't be a problem. But who knows? There will be other problems...life is never perfect
I guess the transition from poor student to income earner with spare cash was a big rough, where each person for the first time realises they have spare cash to burn and you don't want other people to use your cash? A source for conflict?
I was a little bit like that when I was 23yo, but dating a Hong Kong girl totally changed that since in her culture its customary for the guy to pay for everything which I accepted and adopted for future relationships at a reasonable level of course..
Anyways money shouldn't cause relationship issues, as long as you have enough to be comfortable between the two otherwise if little things like that upset your relationship then definitely they are not the right one. I guess if the other half isnt mature then such little things can be an issue
I don't know about that ,a lot of what you see these days is just front anyone can look the part if they use"OPM",I know a lot of Ladies your age and have watched them grow up from babies some are now in their late 20's all seem to have the same problem,they cant find the right person,but when you sit down and talk too them and understand what they want and on their terms then i can understand why so many men don't marry these days,but i know one that meet a BricklayerI agree with "Successful, refined, competent people are a much smaller group. You're fishing in the same size pool with fewer compatible fish"
I might need to find a different pool with more compentent fish in it
when her car broke down and he stoped to help her about a year ago and are now married and happy,sometimes it happens when you are least prepared,or dressed but it always happens..
My other half when we got together had over 40 pairs of shoes, dozens of handbags, no career goal and was quite content on just getting hitched and have a couple kids with her life. But then again she was 16
Knocked that out of her pretty quick. Cue four years later we have a house, share portfolio and over dinner last night was going through the finer details of a business venture. Once she 'saw the light', financial responsibility sky rocketed, to the point wherein I sleep comfortably with the fact that we have shared financials etc.
What I'm trying to get at is that if you find someone you genuinely like, care for, think might be a PERSON (not a financial instrument) that you would like to be in a relationship with, then don't discredit them if they are not perfect NOW. You just have to make sure they have the type of personality and outlook on life which can be amenable to a happy, loving, and financially well off life.
Knocked that out of her pretty quick. Cue four years later we have a house, share portfolio and over dinner last night was going through the finer details of a business venture. Once she 'saw the light', financial responsibility sky rocketed, to the point wherein I sleep comfortably with the fact that we have shared financials etc.
What I'm trying to get at is that if you find someone you genuinely like, care for, think might be a PERSON (not a financial instrument) that you would like to be in a relationship with, then don't discredit them if they are not perfect NOW. You just have to make sure they have the type of personality and outlook on life which can be amenable to a happy, loving, and financially well off life.
I don't understand why you need to impose your personal ambitions on your partner and expect him to have the same desire to succeed or be wealthy as you. You should be able to achieve your goals with your own ability if you're good, irrespective of whether your partner has the same goals.
If you have a superficial mentality, then you need to be mindful that your next partner will also be wondering "what do you bring to the table"... and while I'm not sure what your personal circumstances are, I'm sure that'd turn a lot of successful people away. Eg if you come across someone with $5m net worth at 30 and earning say $600k pa, do you want him to be thinking "gee what does Shim bring to the table. I bring $600k a year and she brings $100k only?????"
Deltaberry has a good point. You could end up attracting the wrong type of person. Whenever I see materialistic/superficial girls I tend to run the other way.
Shim is still properly learning on her own self discovery journey, which future relationships will teach her more than we could ever say.
Shim is still properly learning on her own self discovery journey, which future relationships will teach her more than we could ever say.
I disagree, materialistic girls are great. The trick is to let them see that you have lots of stuff that they want, and then don't quite give it to them
Two can play this game, witch!
Two can play this game, witch!
Sunfish- one of those girls is known as a 'dor'. I made the mistake of describing one as a 'dot'.
Shim, I'm female.
Its probably politically incorrect to say that I wanted my partner to be able to take care of me, as it's likely to work out that there's a family that will need to be taken care of. I have pulled my weight- I had assets and he had none when we got together. I also earnt a lot more.
We have young children now and the tables have turned. What matters for me is that we have a shared belief system in how we want our family to be. If he gambled excessively or cheated, that it would be it. We have different hobbies.
We compliment each other, drive each other nuts, argue but are pulling in the same direction. I guess what I'm saying is, the person who may be your mate, may not be in same position as you, but is open to going in the same direction overall. They don't have to be interested in the how.
Shim, I'm female.
Its probably politically incorrect to say that I wanted my partner to be able to take care of me, as it's likely to work out that there's a family that will need to be taken care of. I have pulled my weight- I had assets and he had none when we got together. I also earnt a lot more.
We have young children now and the tables have turned. What matters for me is that we have a shared belief system in how we want our family to be. If he gambled excessively or cheated, that it would be it. We have different hobbies.
We compliment each other, drive each other nuts, argue but are pulling in the same direction. I guess what I'm saying is, the person who may be your mate, may not be in same position as you, but is open to going in the same direction overall. They don't have to be interested in the how.
Shim sounds pretty mature and intelligent to me. I read she wants to meet someone of similar maturity, wavelength and path as hers so they're compatible, hence happy together.
PB had the right advice.
I disagree, materialistic girls are great. The trick is to let them see that you have lots of stuff that they want, and then don't quite give it to them
Two can play this game, witch!
Extreme cases of materialistic girls, I dont think they would hang around for much longer.. probably catch other bait.
That kind of games I dont think is much fun at all. Best to find someone thats genuine.
I met my wife when we were both 18 and broke. The thing that has worked well for us though is that we are very compatible in terms of ambition.
I think it can be difficult when one partner is very ambitious and the other doesn't care.
But what would I know - I got married at 23. I have no idea what it's like to date in your twenties.
I think it can be difficult when one partner is very ambitious and the other doesn't care.
But what would I know - I got married at 23. I have no idea what it's like to date in your twenties.
That's the plan!
