Is anybody doing it alone???

[Gordon Gekko]

Hi All,

Sorry for the vague title to this post.....but if i had of put "My wife is not interested in investing but is happy for me to" she would have seen the replied email titles and would ask why i am telling everybody. Hope some people can understand that

Anyway, its not that she is not interested, it is that she couldn't be bothered

We went looking at properties last week and she was all excited, she said, go on, go and buy one. And believe me, it was tough getting her to look at houses

She is happy for me to invest, as long as i do my homework. ( which i do )

I guess i want her to "enjoy" investing for our future together.

I asked her tonight if she wanted to go to the Steve Navra course, she said no, couldn't be bothered " But you go, go on" I think Steve would agree here, that it would be better to go with somebody else, just to "bounce" ideas of each other after the course, like a de-briefing.

I am also a bit hesitate to invest some more $$$$....i guess because if i make a "mistake" it would be easier to handle if we went thru the "mistake" together. Spread the load.

HELP

GG

 

[Alan H]

Gordon,

Look at it this way.......

You're probably doing twice as many things as a partnership than you would be doing as an individual investing.

My wife doesn't have the same degree of interest in investing as I do either, BUT she has other interests which she brings to the relationship that provides a nice balance.

Because we are talking serious money(well, to us anyway) we both ensure we are across the process, but she's not as interested in the finer detail as I am.

Viva le difference!

 

[Francesco]

Gordon - at least she encourages

Gordon

My wife does not have the same level of interest in properties too. The debt level worries her, the profits excite her! She chooses properties with her heart. We just passed by a property which would make $50k profit because it does not fit with her idea of what a good capital increasing property should be. However, she mostly allows me to invest. That is the most important thing! Otherwise, nothing can be done.

So, do your homework, make sure you can explain to your wife and get her signature! When she is going to sign, she will start asking questions! That is when the responsibility is shared!

 

[BUNDY]

Gordon,

I could not do the investing that I do without the full support of my partner. We have an agreement that if both of us are not 100% committed to an investment, we won't do it. i think if youhead down the investment track, you definately need the support of your partner - particularly when things don't go as planned.

Perhaps your wife just doesn't understand some of the concepts of investing as well as you do. You stated that she was excited when she was looking at the properties - so she does show some interest - even if it takes you hours of begging to originally get her there.

Why not do a trade off. Ask her to attend the Navra course with you. If she doesn't like it, then you will back off and not bother her again about attending courses. The offer to do something with her that she is interested in -that you may not be.

Who knows, you may both find a passion for something neither of you thought you'd like.

BUNDY

 

[Peter 14.7]

Ahh Gordon

Firstly don’t take her to Steve.

Mrs 147 came to Steve SIG talk, front row seats and literally almost fell asleep.

No comment on Steve but she simply don’t care. I have tried everything and in the end I accept she just finds it boring.

However she earns a good wage and is happy for me to invest here and there and accepts investment has a risk.

I too am sometime envious of those married to the Jacque or Corsa types but a least you are in there fighting.

Maybe we can start a SIG support Group for Lone Male Investors.

Peter 147

 

[Sunfish]

You're certainly not alone GG. My lady has never had any ambition beyond "a house, a car and the pension". Even with her car she is happy while it works. Eventually I get peed off with it (I drive them occasionally, but do the maintenance) and upgrade it. Usually I just drive the new one home.

With shares, she finds out when she does our tax and with property I simply tell her what I'm doing when I see fit. We are just sooooo different, we have little to argue about. Don't laugh; It works!!!!!

 

[quiggles]

Couldn't do it without her.

She provided the inital impetus, she puts the brakes on when I get too 'out there', she provides focus and she runs the book keeping systems.

I do other things. We are very different, but we are a team and investing is a team sport.

One thing you might try, if she is a book oriented person - borrow heaps of different investment and self-actualisation books from the library. Don't press her hard to read them, just say (about the occasional one) "You might find this interesting..." Take no for an answer.

This really works. she does it to me all the time

Truly best wishes for this, it's an issue that you HAVE to address, to ensure you can both be comfortable with what's going on.

 

[Les]

G'day Francesco,

You said it for me too (almost...).

My wife does not have the same level of interest in properties too. The debt level worries her,

...but, in my case, the profits don't really excite her. But if our income dried up, she would be shattered, so i'm sure she knows that profits are "good value" - she is just at a different level from me.

But, through it all, (Bless her) she's allowed me to "have my head" (with one exception, and I didn't mind letting it go - early on, a punt dressed up as a bold move....) so, in the end, it's all good. I tend now to be just a bit more conservative (gives me an edge against a "belly-up") so that she can remain somewhat comfortable. And, at my age, that's not such a bad thing.



Gordon Gekko, I do remember reading (can't remember the author) how "getting used to huge debt" is part and parcel of being an investor. And, yeah, it CAN be scarey - UNLESS you know WHY you are doing it, and KNOW that the moves you are making are pretty much "covered". For those partners that aren't quite up with you, this can be a really scarey time !!!!

And, when the timing is right, my wife will pick up a paintbrush, or put up curtains, etc. (all the stuff that leaves me cold....) so she certainly IS contributing, even though she might not understand the maths..... Our rewards will come - and the "trip to Africa" (one of her dreams) or whatever will make it all seem worthwhile in the end. For the meantime, keep on doing what you know needs to be done.

GG, be bold - fortune favours the brave. . My woman may not understand all of what I do, but I do know that if I fell flat on my face, she'd be there to pick me up again anyway. Probably the same with you too.... So buy when you reckon you should, spend those $$, and grow your fortune for you and the family. She'll be there when you need her - maybe she even KNOWS you DON'T need her for this (i.e. investing in property),

One last thought, GG - reread Jan's story #37 - it's one of my favourites. Bend it a little, and it could be talking about you and/or me......

Regards,

 

[fatboy4]

Alone?

I agree with Quiggles. Gentle suggestions and the right material. My wife isn't into doing the numbers on an investment or planning or reading very much- but she will read profiles of successful investors in magazines and books. Knowing your partner's strengths- as I'm sure you do- why not suggest ways she might help. For instance, my wife is good at organising repairs done quickly and satisfactorily and following up Property Managers (some might call her pushy ) whereas I am more laid back (soft? ) so she does most of that sort of thing. It works pretty well for us... It is invaluable to have someone to bounce ideas off.

 

[thefirstbruce]

My ten cents worth.....women are different to men....yeah, really......

Enjoy their differences....they will keep you balanced emotionally, and help prevent your passions becoming unhealthy obsessions.

Emotional sustenance and nurturing take higher precedence in the synapses of many females.

When on your deathbed, it won't be your investment successes that occupy your mind, it will be the warmth of your loving relationships. Us men often feel like we have to secure the future financially before we can start contemplating what life is really all about...

BTW, I am no expert on marriage......or women....but I know how to say
"I'm sorry darling, it was my fault."

 

[Sultan of Swing]

Hi Gordon

I know where you're coming from. This is a thread I've thought about starting.

Mrs SoS just aint interestedddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!

It's ok for me to invest as long as a/ I don't lose any money ( I was planning too ), b/ it has to have a postive cashflow and c/ don't risk the PPOR. That means I have to come up with some serious deposits to give any IP a positive cashflow straight up.

As soon as I start to talk investing, it takes between 3 and 5 seconds for her to switch off or change the subject. And may I add that a better wife I couldn't have!!

Having said that, I'm hoping that as we slowly progress she'll see the equity building up and allow me to leverage a little more. Sort of like, she wants to make sure i know how to crawl before she allows me to walk, let alone run. I can't see us getting anywhere near 80% leveraged in a hurry. Got to allow her (and me) SANF.

Cheers

 

[see_change]

My Wife was reluctant initially ,especially as the first move I wanted to do was to sell our brand new dream home and buy something with potential for half the price.( No Mortgage )

Some of her friends told her they have to be dragged out dead before they'd leave it....

After the initial shock of the move , we strated to notice that we had more money to do things

Initially when you start you're both nervous about whats going to happen regardless of how much research you've done. The likelihood is that one partner while be the prime mover and the other will act in a support action, But you roles tend to change . WE both have good ******** indicators though they will pick up different clues to the real story.

Each time we've gone out buying we've learned more about the type of the house should be buying , that we feel comfortable with. ( Avoid bottom echelons of proprties in an area) You will pay slightly more when you buy then , but the tenants are generally nicer and in my experience they are easier to sell.

The more we do , the more Vicki is getting involved in organisiing things, Travelling to Brisbane , townsville and Hobart.she's seen six propertiesthat I
havn't seen and there;s one in rocky that neitheer of us has seen.

So over the last four years we've gone from a situatiio where I initiatied most of the activities to the situatioin were we discuss the pro's and cons of different plans, Sometimes we need to think about it for while before we come to a conclusion, but we're gettin quite good at mixing my new idea every second minute approache which vicki'is if slowly shedding her conservative view point. Both view point are lisented two along with any others. The only time we've disagreed was in the aftermath of 911. We sold our houde for top dollar , and I was convinced that this was the event that would change the property market and from that view point , the logicconclusion ws to rent and wait for values tofall. Luckily VIcki wanted a home and after checking every house in Wahrronga down to gordon we stumbbledon a badly adverticed house ( we knew the agents but they had been told what and what they could say in the adds.... and they wern't to say that it had 3070 m2 of land. This filled both aims in providing a home , but aslo provided scpoe for future development

At the current stage we'contemplating Vicki becoming an owner builder and organise some of the work to be done on the current house.

Bottom line it's an evolving relationship. Seeing Success is a big breaktrough when you can say that we've made more on that crappy IP in logan than I've saved in the last ten years working , things start coming into perspective.



See Change ( hic...)

 

[Kristine..]

Well, Gentlemen

Us wives aren't all back seat drivers, you know!

I know Mike is proud of what we've achieved because occasionally he'll come home and relate a lunch time conversation with someone about property and investing, but in the main it is about 23rd on his list of interesting things.

Our across the board LVR is fairly reasonable, but the payments still must be met with monotonous regularity. These periodic interruptions to what otherwise is a fairly peaceful existence we can live without!

Would he come to a seminar with me? He comes to various Somersoft events with me throughout the year, and one company I briefly worked for ran seminars, and he came to one with me (he told me he hadn't learnt anything new), but in the main he doesn't have anything to do with the purchasing or property management side of things although he actively particpates in the maintenance in-between tenants (and grumbles about it).

I keep him informed on what I'm planning to do, feed him information in small doses, watch the boredom meter, and try and learn when to change the subject. I've decided that if I've still got the medical centre by the end of the year then I'd like to build three, two storey, three bedroom townhouses there. Stockbroker style, dark red clinker brick, a hint of Tudor. With views of the mountains from an elevated corner site they should age gracefully and would be a lovely inheritance to pass on to the children in about 30 years time when we've done with them.

The first mention of this met with scorn and derision. By the third conversation he was starting to see that it could certainly be achievable if taken as an eighteen month project.

But when I said I thought they'd rent for $330 per week, well, he thought I'd gone mad. Until I pointed out that our exec house in the same neighbourhood is currently rented for $370 per week and has been for the past eighteen months. So I think $330 sounds pretty reasonable for mid 2006 rental estimates.

I really don't think it matters whether it's yoga or property investing or playing golf or the latest in computer programs. There's more to life and relationships than one or two subjects. We have to learn to make our own decisions and to take responsibility for our own actions. I only know when Mike has a new car when it's sitting in the driveway. That's a business decision he makes, it has nothing to do with me. I choose to drive an eleven year old car, I have no interest in cars except as a means of transport.

So when it comes to property, and considering that I'm always working on some deal or application or scenario either for myself or for customers, why should anyone take any notice? Property is a daily subject of conversation in this house, a bit like the TXU ads - 'We get excited by electricity even if you're not'.

Property investing is not gender specific. Buying small chunks of the planet is an opportunity available to everyone. Provided you don't have to have the rates notices posted to a post office box or pretend your property manager has dialled the wrong number or wear a trench coat and a false moustache when going to 'open for inspections' then I don't think you have a problem.

Enjoy!

Kristine

 

[always_learning]

Women god bless them, Kristine after reading her posts may well be the most rational person on the forum, however if I had the chance I really want to ask her Mike if she is actually rational at home too or a raging pool of mind numbing inconsistency? (just joking)

Mrs AL was looking at the internet today..."Oh this would be a good investment...4br on 120m2 sunny land with a 30 year old house for only $1.2M...no wait it's too cheap...must be something wrong with it", I was really shocked I was thinking; how on earth could be you be looking at potential investment properties, after all you said to me last year in regard to my greedy, pointless, selfish, risky and foolish interest in property investment. Of course I say "let's go have a look, it's just selling for land value and we can get finance at 1% for 5 years...that's almost free money, not much downside"

 

[Jakk]

Wife: "...and how long have we owned that"
Jakk "had it for ages" ( settlement due in 2 weeks)
Wife: " ...so whats this I have to sign?"
Jakk " er... just some form for the bank" (Transfer of Land Document)
Wife: "...why do they want it?"
Jakk: " er I don't know, probably changed manager again or some
internal review, there's no problem really"
Wife: "you haven't bought more land, have you?"
Jakk: " NOOOO, Its just a form they want signed OK! ( fingers were crossed)
Wife: "Alright alright, I'll sign it"

above conversation not reported verbatim but as close as human memory allows.

Take note Gordon & others, where there's a will there's a way

regards

 

[skater]

I created a monster

Hubby has always left the investing side to me. I look at the properties (if they're local, he'll come too), arrange the finance, talk to endless Real Estate Agents. Even on holidays, my focus is on property.

We have 8 properties that I bought without him as they are a long distance from where we live. Again I researched the areas, jumped on a plane, spent days at the location researching & looking, then coming home with a list to choose which ones to buy.

Now, in all honesty, I can't say that he has been against investing, just left it all up to me. He works, I don't, so I consider it my contribution.

During the recent boom, we would go to a few of the auctions & comment on the rediculous prices that people would pay for a run down house, & he does know the values in the area.

In December we bought a bargain & it was a particularly stressful purchase, due to the fact that we had to change some security around for it, so the finance side held us up a little, not to mention the truck load of paperwork.

This property settled on the Monday & there was another auction on the next Saturday that I had done some research on already, but had decided that since this new property needed a reno, we could not do both. On Friday he mentioned that the next auction was on tomorrow, & said not to worry about it. What was his response? Well I think we should, I have spoken to the broker & he said we can borrow enough for this one as well, so we will be bidding.

You could have knocked me down with a feather. We did go to the auction & had a full on domestic on the way there. I told him what my limit was on this house & he said no way we need to go higher than that. He was adamant that I was being too cautious. Nevertheless he did stick to my limit & he did the bidding. We walked away from that auction with the house $7k under my conservative limit. This is a full on reno project that he plans to have completed in one month & has arranged to have a week off work to help complete it.

This is a list of the work that he will be required to do:

Replaster walls
Paint
Re-wire
Sand & Polish floor boards
Replace 13 windows
New hot water system
New kitchen
Remove a wall (to make open plan)
Large rear deck
Replace back door with large bi-fold doors
Install airconditioning
Built-ins for 2 bedrooms
Replace back fence
Numerous other small jobs

I do have to add that he is an electrician by trade and a wonderful handyman so I know that he can handle the renovations.

He said that we have to do something different, because he hates his job & although pleased with the way our portfolio has grown, he believes it is taking too long & wants out of the workforce, possibly to do reno's full-time. Only downside to his wanting to do reno's full-time is the fact that by default it means I also have to do reno's full-time. YUCK!!!!

 

[Kenny]

Ahh Gordon

Firstly don’t take her to Steve.

Mrs 147 came to Steve SIG talk, front row seats and literally almost fell asleep.

No comment on Steve but she simply don’t care. I have tried everything and in the end I accept she just finds it boring.

However she earns a good wage and is happy for me to invest here and there and accepts investment has a risk.

I too am sometime envious of those married to the Jacque or Corsa types but a least you are in there fighting.

Maybe we can start a SIG support Group for Lone Male Investors.

Peter 147

I have to stick up for Steve here, even though I know exactly what Peter is saying.

I persuaded my wife off to Steve's latest course and bless her heart, she loved it! Now she takes an active interest which is great.

Oh, and maybe it helped that she was sitting near Jacque who is an inspiration to everyone . Thanks Jacque.

Regards,

Kenny

PS. I'll still put my hand up for the Lone Male Investor Group Meetings though.

 

[JoannaK]

Well, Gentlemen

Us wives aren't all back seat drivers, you know!

Here Here!!

 

[kissfan]

Hi all.

The bulk of our investing decisions are made by me. I try hard to get my wife involved and although she listens, and appears to take it in, I think she is just nodding her head in agreement. I have found that it is not a good idea to talk investments during; The Bold and the Beautiful, Lost, The Great Race, Survivor, etc etc . I don't mind the decision making as it is now considered "my job".
I realise too that just because I am passionate about some topics (including investing) that everyone (including my wife) else has different views and is entitled to their opinions and I'm the first to admit that at times my enthusiasm could sometimes be perceived as a bit in your face ( note to self, must learn to pull back a little).

All things said and done, at least my wife attends some seminars with me, and understands the goals and realises that eventually we will both be better off.

Regards
Marty

 

[buzzlightyear]

Yes - doing it alone

Unlike the others here, I am single and have been doing all of the research/legwork. Oh yes and the repaying of the debt/bills.

Recently, have been specing a property that is being built, so choosing all the interiors, colours fittings etc, which I thought might be out of my area of expertise. And thought it would really be advantageous to have a female perspective.

Whilst bouncing ideas off friends and family, they can only really be involved to a certain level. So it essentially forced me to learn a lot about interiors with some comfort of using various people with their feedback.

I have gotten to the point now that I am quite confident in my ability in this area, plus the women who traditionally work in this field provide a lovely incentive to be more involved

And whilst there is family background in real estate, my current focus on development, which is also beyond their comfort zone. Being a close family, in some ways, it is a positive to get them to see the bone fides of a specific project, and in turn challenge some of my assumptions beliefs and information.

So maybe in hindsight, maybe I am not doing this by myself at all. There seem to be various players who enter stage left & exit stage right when required.