Is anybody doing it alone???
- Thread starter Gordon Gekko
- Start date
yep
Its a great topic. I would not be an active investor if my wife didnt take an interest. Intitially she wasnt too interested so the hard sell took place.
'Investing is for the benfit of the entire family - do you think its fair that one person (ME
) shoulders the entire responsibility for this??? we are a partnership and this is something you cant ignore''
'Active investing take sacrifice and time. It cant be done alone therefore i need you to show interest in this for both our sakes'.
Wives who show little or no interest in what there husbands (life partners) take very seriously - need to get some perspective. it doesnt take much to listen, try and take in whats being said and then to be supportive. I do that as a husband and a father, so i should expect it back. He he - tough love baby !. But in all seriousness i truelly believe that this needs to be a partnership. Imagine if hubby just couldnt be bothered shopping, or reading to the kids because it just doesnt interest me!!
its all about the journey, investing like most things can be fun and be about self discovery. If theres a culture of learning and growth its an easy sell..
Its a great topic. I would not be an active investor if my wife didnt take an interest. Intitially she wasnt too interested so the hard sell took place.
'Investing is for the benfit of the entire family - do you think its fair that one person (ME
) shoulders the entire responsibility for this??? we are a partnership and this is something you cant ignore'''Active investing take sacrifice and time. It cant be done alone therefore i need you to show interest in this for both our sakes'.
Wives who show little or no interest in what there husbands (life partners) take very seriously - need to get some perspective. it doesnt take much to listen, try and take in whats being said and then to be supportive. I do that as a husband and a father, so i should expect it back. He he - tough love baby !. But in all seriousness i truelly believe that this needs to be a partnership. Imagine if hubby just couldnt be bothered shopping, or reading to the kids because it just doesnt interest me!!
its all about the journey, investing like most things can be fun and be about self discovery. If theres a culture of learning and growth its an easy sell..
Couldn't be bothered in helping you both to build a future together but ready to reap the rewards. What a shame. Maybe it is all a bit intimidating or complex. How about reading the story by story Somers book...may be interesting without all the theory for the minute.
Not knowing at all about your property portfolio structure in a relationship is dangerous. If something happens and one partner needs to take over for a bit then both better be in the know to some extent so we aren't taken advantage of "just-sign-here" merchants. (not saying this is the case for GG)
Also, what example does it set for our children if the women are disinterested? That being financially astute is not feminine/attractive? Bugger the 'talking about money before marriage isn't romantic' concept I am going to make sure of that one. I have seen the toll of incompatible financial attitudes takes.
Neve know GG, she may take an interest soon.
Not knowing at all about your property portfolio structure in a relationship is dangerous. If something happens and one partner needs to take over for a bit then both better be in the know to some extent so we aren't taken advantage of "just-sign-here" merchants. (not saying this is the case for GG)
Also, what example does it set for our children if the women are disinterested? That being financially astute is not feminine/attractive? Bugger the 'talking about money before marriage isn't romantic' concept I am going to make sure of that one. I have seen the toll of incompatible financial attitudes takes.
Neve know GG, she may take an interest soon.
Hi GG,
Great post!
I've got clients, who like you, are husbands taking the lead in investing. I also have clients who are wives taking the lead in investing. And then there are clients who are both taking an interest.
From what I can see, they all work out. In situations like yours, I'm just very keen to make sure that the 'disinterested' partner understands the risks and responsibilities that they are taking on by default. I find that they usually listen long enought to hear the 'down side' and then switch off again.
So take heart, for all of my clients it works just fine. And I think (IMHO) that your situation can actually improve the investing decisions made.
Cheers, Medine.
Great post!
I've got clients, who like you, are husbands taking the lead in investing. I also have clients who are wives taking the lead in investing. And then there are clients who are both taking an interest.
From what I can see, they all work out. In situations like yours, I'm just very keen to make sure that the 'disinterested' partner understands the risks and responsibilities that they are taking on by default. I find that they usually listen long enought to hear the 'down side' and then switch off again.
So take heart, for all of my clients it works just fine. And I think (IMHO) that your situation can actually improve the investing decisions made.
Cheers, Medine.
yeh but
50 pct of marriages end in divorce and 50 pct of divorces are due to financial difficulties. Limit the risk by bringing your partner with you (metaphorically speaking) when you make decisions. Its the only practical and wise way to go.
Its a big issue - people dont realise that!! We spend more time thinking about where to holiday.......
50 pct of marriages end in divorce and 50 pct of divorces are due to financial difficulties. Limit the risk by bringing your partner with you (metaphorically speaking) when you make decisions. Its the only practical and wise way to go.
Its a big issue - people dont realise that!! We spend more time thinking about where to holiday.......
yesssss
'Hi Aussierogue,
Where are you getting this statistics from?'
++
Hi Amok - Id like to say i got the figures from the Funk and Wagnells but the truth is i made them up! but they sound about right dont they! i think divorce rates are at around the 45-50 pct mark. And something tells me that financial stress is the leading reason for divorce apart from supporting different football teams.
truth is most divorcees cant give you one reason why they no longer feel the love. it happens over time. Stressing and arguing about money is one of the main reasons.
Any boffins out there with the real statistics????
'Hi Aussierogue,
Where are you getting this statistics from?'
++
Hi Amok - Id like to say i got the figures from the Funk and Wagnells but the truth is i made them up! but they sound about right dont they! i think divorce rates are at around the 45-50 pct mark. And something tells me that financial stress is the leading reason for divorce apart from supporting different football teams.
truth is most divorcees cant give you one reason why they no longer feel the love. it happens over time. Stressing and arguing about money is one of the main reasons.
Any boffins out there with the real statistics????
My 2 cents worth! I have all the same problems with my husband. He is a very cautious man and does not want to get into debt. He worries about our cash flows. He said he does not have time to be looking at properties while he goes to work to earn money to keep us alive. It took me 2 years to convince him that we should set up a HDT. So far we only have 1 IP in it because he won't look at any more. Every time I told him we should buy another IP for the trust, he said he wanted to look at our finances and do up the numbers first. That was 2 years ago! Sometimes I wished I kept my job instead of chucking it in, so I could have $ to invest. I have now left the rat race for 4 years and no one wants to give me a job - they all say I am too highly qualified! (probably too old as well). I have regrets that I did not just use my high income when I was working to start investing in my own right - now it is 25 years too late. I went to seminars, read the books, did the networking myself - which is hard because people always ask "Is your husband doing this with you as well???" When I said no, they ran miles away.
Hi babushka
thanks for your post - i guess what your saying is that its not only financial problems that can cause stress, having different financial goals/visions can also be a problem.
thanks for your post - i guess what your saying is that its not only financial problems that can cause stress, having different financial goals/visions can also be a problem.
Actually make that 96.2% of stats are made up !Thommo said:Actually, 95% of statistics are made up
'Cos I'm sure Thommo also just made it up
Regards,
Steve
Totally Agree
Quiggles - I like the way you operate.
I agree with what you've written, I do similar with my wife.
She was totally uninterested and used to nod and smile. I pestered her and song and dance and leap about to get her to come and look with me and she finally said "OK - I know you aren't going to drop this so I will come with you, but I am not as interested" . However, things are changing!!
Out of boredom and no books to read, she read "Building wealth story by story" and "ordinary Millionaires" and it kind of "switched on" something in her head. She realised that we could make a difference..
So now she's telling me - I think we need to invest again...
quiggles said:Couldn't do it without her.
She provided the inital impetus, she puts the brakes on when I get too 'out there', she provides focus and she runs the book keeping systems.
I do other things. We are very different, but we are a team and investing is a team sport.
One thing you might try, if she is a book oriented person - borrow heaps of different investment and self-actualisation books from the library. Don't press her hard to read them, just say (about the occasional one) "You might find this interesting..." Take no for an answer.
This really works. she does it to me all the time
Truly best wishes for this, it's an issue that you HAVE to address, to ensure you can both be comfortable with what's going on.
Quiggles - I like the way you operate.
I agree with what you've written, I do similar with my wife.
She was totally uninterested and used to nod and smile. I pestered her and song and dance and leap about to get her to come and look with me and she finally said "OK - I know you aren't going to drop this so I will come with you, but I am not as interested" . However, things are changing!!
Out of boredom and no books to read, she read "Building wealth story by story" and "ordinary Millionaires" and it kind of "switched on" something in her head. She realised that we could make a difference..
So now she's telling me - I think we need to invest again...
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I was the leader in the investment business for a while, and MrsW followed along.
Then we went along to a Cashflow game (with "The Wife" and Quiggles). She won the game- took the worksheet home, and studies it. The light went on.
It's always been her ideal to own a business. Without her input, I would not be in the Subway. So we've helped each other along the way.
Then we went along to a Cashflow game (with "The Wife" and Quiggles). She won the game- took the worksheet home, and studies it. The light went on.
It's always been her ideal to own a business. Without her input, I would not be in the Subway. So we've helped each other along the way.
GeoffW said:
Yes Geoff, each with different skills and ideas. A good working partnership.
I have the interest in investing and gave the day job away 3.25 yrs ago (but who's counting
) in order to put together some sort of retirement income for us. My husband is very focussed on working hard and is in demand for the service he provides. I administer an MYOB system for our company and generally make the money go round and play with different ideas. When I come up with something that I think is a "can do" I run it past him and we proceed with equal consent.Cheers Bawley
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My wife isn't particularly interested in our investments, but she supports me in my attempts to build ourselves a future.
I have tried explaining what I am doing, playing cash flow (with the kids as well), doing graph and figures, it just doesn't to be very important to her.
What matters is that we form a good team. She is good at a lot of things where I am pretty hopeless. I support her in what she does as well.
Sure it would be easier if she was interested, but it is still possible to move forward with only one partner focusing on investments.
Cheers,
I have tried explaining what I am doing, playing cash flow (with the kids as well), doing graph and figures, it just doesn't to be very important to her.
What matters is that we form a good team. She is good at a lot of things where I am pretty hopeless. I support her in what she does as well.
Sure it would be easier if she was interested, but it is still possible to move forward with only one partner focusing on investments.
Cheers,
My wife has little or no interest in investing. She finds it all so boring, and often switches off when I start to tell her about it. But..
she trusts my judgement on the many, many hours I spend making sure we are doing this the best we can.
It would be good if she had a basic understanding so I didn't feel like I was riding the wave on my own - ie celebrate and understand the success and understand any failures. She doesn't appreciate that sometimes researching and investing is like job. It would be nice to share the workload!
We recently had $55k growth in the 1st year on our 2nd IP. The light didn't go on - "but we haven't sold it yet" she said (like it didn't count for much) - didn't get excited - didn't batter an eye lid - didn't seem to register. I said if we sold it I could take a year of work (not that I would!). Seemed the penny dropped a little.
I calculated that if both our IP's grew at 5% p.a. and we decided to sell in 5 years then we could pay out a mortgage. This also struck a cord.
Don't get me wrong my wife is a very sensible intelligent woman and when I explain the occassional things she is smart enough to know it is okay. I owe her greatly for trusting me on so much ($$$ DR) on her understanding so little of it.
But when I state the time will come for us to expand into a million dollars of debt she gets worried. I've tried to educate her with bits and pieces but I wish I could wake her to the great opportunities that ly in front of us. If she could read Rich Dad Poor Dad (she won't) she may understand that what she (probably) seems as fantasy and unattainable can actually be achieved if we knuckle down a bit and use our heads. Ordinary folks are doing it.
Perhaps I'll slip Jan Somers book of stories by her bedside. I might get lucky (with the book!). But theres a high chance it will sit there until its time for it to go back to library.
I only hope that our IP wave and our opportunities don't come to a grinding halt because she refuses to understand the basics of investing and how lucrative it can be.
Regards
Keen
she trusts my judgement on the many, many hours I spend making sure we are doing this the best we can.
It would be good if she had a basic understanding so I didn't feel like I was riding the wave on my own - ie celebrate and understand the success and understand any failures. She doesn't appreciate that sometimes researching and investing is like job. It would be nice to share the workload!
We recently had $55k growth in the 1st year on our 2nd IP. The light didn't go on - "but we haven't sold it yet" she said (like it didn't count for much) - didn't get excited - didn't batter an eye lid - didn't seem to register. I said if we sold it I could take a year of work (not that I would!). Seemed the penny dropped a little.
I calculated that if both our IP's grew at 5% p.a. and we decided to sell in 5 years then we could pay out a mortgage. This also struck a cord.
Don't get me wrong my wife is a very sensible intelligent woman and when I explain the occassional things she is smart enough to know it is okay. I owe her greatly for trusting me on so much ($$$ DR) on her understanding so little of it.
But when I state the time will come for us to expand into a million dollars of debt she gets worried. I've tried to educate her with bits and pieces but I wish I could wake her to the great opportunities that ly in front of us. If she could read Rich Dad Poor Dad (she won't) she may understand that what she (probably) seems as fantasy and unattainable can actually be achieved if we knuckle down a bit and use our heads. Ordinary folks are doing it.
Perhaps I'll slip Jan Somers book of stories by her bedside. I might get lucky (with the book!). But theres a high chance it will sit there until its time for it to go back to library.
I only hope that our IP wave and our opportunities don't come to a grinding halt because she refuses to understand the basics of investing and how lucrative it can be.
Regards
Keen
Doing it alone?
Hi all,
Some great replies here.
My better half Lydia, originally became interested in investing well before me. Mainly for the purchase of our first PPOR. The lights came on for me by default as we moved inter state and rented out our old house. I noticed immediatly the impact of someone else paying for our mortgage + a little extra in out pockets aswell.
Of course now we are both keen as mustered even if our ideas are different.
The main trend I have noticed alot in the previous posts are the comments about one partner or the other worried about "getting into debt".
As the bread winner in our familly I was particularly concerned about this. I discovered this to be the biggest hurldle to overcome before I fully realised the value of using OPM.
I believe that the education system that teaches our children are mostly to blame for this lack of understanding. I was allways taught this: Get a good job, buy a house and work hard to pay of the mortgage.
In todays society of no pension, no long term careers, rising costs of education ect this model no longer works. We need to be teaching not only ourselves some new models of thinking but our children aswell.
I started to teach my son some of these fundamentals at 12. Here is his first achievement.:
Kallum came home today and advised me that he had sold his pacer pencil to a kid at school for double its real value.
Great I said, but the only problem was that now he had to pay me back for the cost of the pen. He still realised a profit however.
I said that the trick was to get the kid to pay for the pen then buy it back from you at double the cost!!!
He was all ears and said how could he do that?
I said, ask the boy to lend him $2 and you would give him back $2.20. Take the $2.00 and buy the pen for $1.50. (As my lad knows the market for pacer pens at school he knows what he could sell one for) Show the boy the new pacer pen Kallum had just bought and offer to sell it to him for the fantastic price of $3.00. Once deal was settled then pay back the kid his $2.20 making a profit of 80c (thats big money to a kid )using absolutly nothing of his own money.
He was wrapped!!
Now of course the kid could have bought his own pacer from the beginning at $1.50. But that is the key I said. Research, supply and demand, and other peoples money!!! Plus the lack of other peoples financial knowledge.
Kallum shortly after reinvested his money in another resource..... lollies!!!
Now I do not advise anyone to teach there children and take advantage of their friends and I made sure to drum that into Kallums head as well but it was a good lesson to learn at a young age.
The moral of the story Give your children the best education.. a financial education.
Hi all,
Some great replies here.
My better half Lydia, originally became interested in investing well before me. Mainly for the purchase of our first PPOR. The lights came on for me by default as we moved inter state and rented out our old house. I noticed immediatly the impact of someone else paying for our mortgage + a little extra in out pockets aswell.
Of course now we are both keen as mustered even if our ideas are different.
The main trend I have noticed alot in the previous posts are the comments about one partner or the other worried about "getting into debt".
As the bread winner in our familly I was particularly concerned about this. I discovered this to be the biggest hurldle to overcome before I fully realised the value of using OPM.
I believe that the education system that teaches our children are mostly to blame for this lack of understanding. I was allways taught this: Get a good job, buy a house and work hard to pay of the mortgage.
In todays society of no pension, no long term careers, rising costs of education ect this model no longer works. We need to be teaching not only ourselves some new models of thinking but our children aswell.
I started to teach my son some of these fundamentals at 12. Here is his first achievement.:
Kallum came home today and advised me that he had sold his pacer pencil to a kid at school for double its real value.
Great I said, but the only problem was that now he had to pay me back for the cost of the pen. He still realised a profit however.
I said that the trick was to get the kid to pay for the pen then buy it back from you at double the cost!!!
He was all ears and said how could he do that?
I said, ask the boy to lend him $2 and you would give him back $2.20. Take the $2.00 and buy the pen for $1.50. (As my lad knows the market for pacer pens at school he knows what he could sell one for) Show the boy the new pacer pen Kallum had just bought and offer to sell it to him for the fantastic price of $3.00.
Once deal was settled then pay back the kid his $2.20 making a profit of 80c (thats big money to a kid )using absolutly nothing of his own money. He was wrapped!!
Now of course the kid could have bought his own pacer from the beginning at $1.50. But that is the key I said. Research, supply and demand, and other peoples money!!! Plus the lack of other peoples financial knowledge.
Kallum shortly after reinvested his money in another resource..... lollies!!!
Now I do not advise anyone to teach there children and take advantage of their friends and I made sure to drum that into Kallums head as well but it was a good lesson to learn at a young age.
The moral of the story
Give your children the best education.. a financial education.Similar threads
