Prenap...

Leikela said:
I don't mind admitting I wouldn't look twice at a guy who had no assets (well maybe if he was hot - but he wouldn't get a third look ;) ). It's not that I'm shallow, I'm building myself equity so I can live a comfortable life. Even if I found a guy with nothing and was prepared to sign a prenup I wouldn't be interested. I don't think love itself is a solid enough foundation for a long term relationship, and if a guy is going to waste all his money and has no direction or goals for his future then that's not someone I want to spend my life with. It's not about him not having money, but what it represents in his way of thinking, and it's not something I could or would want to live with.

P.S. Goodluck tomorrow Steveadl, hope it all goes well.
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See I agree with you and would take the same course of action. If my GF/wife was a big money spender and had no control of her career or had no plans for her short term and long term future, then I would not consider her for a long term relationship as it would only drain me financially and emotionally. Love is a nice word but "loving" is easy, doing things in the "background" (caring for each other, helping with money, trusting each other, doing nice things for each other and etc) is harder.

Its very easy to say "I love you" everyday... :)
 
bespoke said:
When I met my hubbie, his net worth was -ve, mine was >750K. He didn't know till we got engaged and he offered to sign a pre nup. Never bothered to do it though.

I never flouted what I had so no one knew, trouble is we bought a PPOR almost twice as expensive as my PPOR when I met him and everyone knows we have IPs .....so now everyone thinks what we have was all hubbies. I keep getting... "oooh arn't you a lucky girl, he was a good catch"... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:cool:

So don't assume a couples net worth is all due to the male!
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Mmmmm, doesn't it make your blood boil! I do all the investing and I get comments how lucky I am too to be living in a nice house and have rental properties, and my husbands done really well. :rolleyes:
 
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Leikela said:
I don't mind admitting I wouldn't look twice at a guy who had no assets (well maybe if he was hot - but he wouldn't get a third look ;) ). It's not that I'm shallow, I'm building myself equity so I can live a comfortable life. Even if I found a guy with nothing and was prepared to sign a prenup I wouldn't be interested. I don't think love itself is a solid enough foundation for a long term relationship, and if a guy is going to waste all his money and has no direction or goals for his future then that's not someone I want to spend my life with. It's not about him not having money, but what it represents in his way of thinking, and it's not something I could or would want to live with.

P.S. Goodluck tomorrow Steveadl, hope it all goes well.
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Fair enough. Personally, I hooked up with my now Darling Husband when I was 16 (he was 15) - so money never entered the equation. By the time we got married, we had been together 6yrs and living together for 4yrs. A pre-nup at this stage really didn't make any sense as we didn't own 'anything' that we hadn't both contributed to in some way.
 
Invest:
"I wouldn't MAKE someone sign one, I'd simply give them the option - sign it or don't marry me."

- Agreed 100%. If they will not sign it, they obviously have a hidden agenda...
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Thankyou for clarifying.

How do you deduct a person's intentions just over whether they are prepared to sign a contract or not?

If it is a hidden agenda how do you see this? (As in interpret).

Because someone will not sign a contract we can tell what they are plotting and/or thinking? Or is it only you with this gift?
 
rugrat said:
Fair enough. Personally, I hooked up with my now Darling Husband when I was 16 (he was 15) - so money never entered the equation. By the time we got married, we had been together 6yrs and living together for 4yrs. A pre-nup at this stage really didn't make any sense as we didn't own 'anything' that we hadn't both contributed to in some way.
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Well that's different - quite sweet. :)

But I'm 31, so I'm talking about guys around 30-40. If they don't have anything by that age... :eek:
 
Invest:
I don't know if you've heard but many people DO marry for money and to gain MORE control.

-So many people marry for money.

-There are two people that are in this marriage, or about to marry.

-Both are adults.

-They choose to marry.

-They may or may not sign a pre nup b/w themselves. Their business. They choose to sign the pre nup (or not).

...and your point is?:confused:?


That's the way our society works.

-Our society has been mating and marrying since [-------fill in blanks-----]

-Some marriages/matings last, some do not...some breakups are amicable, some are not...

Most will never admit it but its true.

Whom are most and where do you get your statistical information from?

If you mean most people have an opinion and belief on "stuff" then, yes, we all do..

Being rich provides safety, comfort, good education for children and etc.

Nice. Financial security and independence is a fine goal I also like the respecting and love for your partner, valuing them ..etc.




I'm yet to see single women fighting each other to get married to a bum on the street...

Oh, so your concern is for the status for single, less affluent guys that might be living on the street.
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Leikela said:
But I'm 31, so I'm talking about guys around 30-40. If they don't have anything by that age... :eek:
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Sheesh ... I'm about to crack 34 and my partner is 29. He was a day shy of 25 when we started dating, and still living at home with mum. I moved out of home at 17 - one of the downsides of living country and going to the city for uni.

I have to admit I've only dated one fellow over 30 (and very few older than me), and that ended *extremely* badly ... maybe I should send him back to mum when he turns 30 and go looking for a younger model? ;)
 
Hooray said:
Should anyone even consider the opinions of a misogynist on the topic of relationships?
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I agree that some of the posts in this thread have that distinct flavour about them so this is the point where I should really keep quiet, other than to say:

Good luck for tomorrow Steve! Enjoy it....
 
When I met my husband he was still a student and I was working with a house and investments. he moved in with a back pack and a kitten!! I am a saver and he is a spender and I have always earned more than him so we agreed from day 1 - split the bills in proportion to our income then what ever we have left over remains our own. So now I pay the mortgage, the utilities, insurances, kids school fees etc, and he pays phone, internet and groceries. Works well and always has. for a short time we earned the same amount so we split the bills evenly. As far as I am concerned this marriage is a partnership. I work long hours and travel a lot so he has a huge burden of managing the kids and working full time when I am away. All the investing I am doing is for both of us and becuase I can afford it, i pay for it. We have 4 IPs - for tax reasons all should be in my name but he wanted one of his own so he has one which he pays for and the other 3 are in my name.

Pre- Nup - never thought of it, never wanted one and if it all went wrong,the assets are joint as far as I am concerned. Been together 17 years and married 15 so going OK so far.
 
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Invest said:
Met a 43 yo women yesterday... been divorced recently... told me not to bother getting married lol
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You should meet my parents (been married about 30yrs) and my grandparents (been married for 57yrs) all of them say marriage is the best thing they ever done.
 
HiEquity said:
Seriously...

What is love and emotional support worth? Priceless is my estimate.

What are we focussing on here? Protecting a few IPs? A few million $$$? In the face of a lifelong commitment? It just pales into insignificance...

I got married focussing on the future and what we could achieve together - I can't go forward if I'm looking back. And if it all goes to custard somehow then money will really be the least of my concerns.

In my opinion, some risks are worth taking because the upside is just so great and the downside insignificant by comparison. This is one of those - you can always make money anytime you want to but finding the right person may only happen once in your life - if you're lucky!
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I agree with you 100% Hi Equity, Marriage isn't and should never be about money, even through divorce.
People that go for 50% of everything disgust me, and yes statistics point at divorce for most couples these days, but if you've made that commitment surely there was something in the first place, right?
When i marry, whether i have more than the guy or less, i wouldn't sign a pre-nup, nor would i ask for one, after all in the end, It's only money, you can make more, but love can sometimes never be achieved for some, or happen again.
Risks are apart of life..:)
 
I think it's hilarious that you think that you will find a self-respecting woman who will, 1) not only marry YOU, 2) sign a pre-nup.

If you are in a serious relationship, and mention a pre-nup before marriage, my guess would be 80% of them will tell you where to go and walk out the door; NOT because they have a hidden agenda, but because you don't trust them.

You will never be in a happy relationship if you think women are just after you for your money, and if you're finding women who are after just that, then it's the company that you keep, and obviously enjoy.

As for me, I don't socialise with needy, wanting, self-obsessed, vain females.
 

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