Rate race exit for those with families?

[ok180]

So what's your thoughts on this?

For those of us with young families is "the dream" of exiting the work force early something worth really striving for? My thoughts on this have changed a lot over the past year or so for a couple of reasons.

1: The kids have school commitments.

2: If you're not doing much every day what kind of example is it setting for them as they grow up? I think it's good for them to see what it means to have a purpose in life.

I used to think it would be great to be financially free because you could just dart of for a months holiday whenever you wanted or do whatever whenever but now with more responsibility I don't really look at it like that but i'm not upset about it either.

It's nice to have the extra income from investments but for the time being at least until the kids are finished school it feels like all I can do is service debt or buy more "stuff" which is good but kind of missing the "freedom" part of financial freedom. Maybe it needs to be rephrased to financial choice!

I'm in my early 30's now and the more I look at it the more I feel I am happy doing what I do with little pressure and just enjoying my family life rather than having the goal of exiting work life all together. The older I get the idea of doing anything every day because I can seems like a bit of a fools errand.

 

[skater]

I'm in my early 30's now and the more I look at it the more I feel I am happy doing what I do with little pressure and just enjoying my family life rather than having the goal of exiting work life all together. The older I get that just seems like a bit of a fools errand.

You're still a baby!

The idea of being financially free is just that. Freedom! It means that you have a choice. You can choose to work, or you can choose to work in something that you'd rather do, not what you 'need' to do to pay the bills, or you can retire, or do voluntary work. Or whatever else that takes your fancy.

I have no idea what kind of foundation you have going for you, but lets just presume you have a PPOR and a couple of IP's. Well, just holding a small amount like that & letting time do it's thing while you get on and enjoy life can make a huge difference in later years. Of course, the more you add, the better it gets.

 

[ok180]

You've got adult (or teenage?) children skater, what do you think about my point of setting an example for them of disciplined work as they are growing up?

 

[skater]

You've got adult (or teenage?) children skater, what do you think about my point of setting an example for them of disciplined work as they are growing up?

Our children witnessed all the highs & the lows that we had. They saw us both work hard, they saw us lose thousands of dollars & work our way out of bad situations.

We were open with money & taught them that if you want anything in life, you have to earn it, as nothing comes free. During their formative years, we struggled financially, not because we invested (we always looked for cf+ properties), but because we got a few very tough breaks.

We taught them about the difference between needs and wants, and that we would provide their needs. Whereas they would have to work to provide their wants. They both got part time jobs as soon as they were able to, and there were always 'jobs' around the house to earn extra money as well.

 

[TMNT]

my parents frugality/tightness has kept me more grounded, for the better or worse I wont know

I would feel terrible to own a car more expensive then them when they are more succesfull then me

I also feel guilty going out for dinners more then themm

it was worse when I used to live them

 

[BayView]

my parents frugality/tightness has kept me more grounded, for the better or worse I wont know

I would feel terrible to own a car more expensive then them when they are more succesfull then me

I also feel guilty going out for dinners more then themm

it was worse when I used to live them

This is a valid point.

It is nice to hear someone who is concerned with what their parents might think if they were to be too spendthrift.

My Parents-in Law are retired, and living comfortably with no debt and a part pension, some rent from a factory they own. They are pretty tight though; the usual "European background with no money while growing up" mentality.

Their two sons are very wasteful with their money.

Often the parents come over to our house, get talking about the family, and often have a bit of whinge about the two boys and how they seem to make bad financial decisions and spend everything on stuff.

Back to you though; don't feel too guilty about driving a better car than them - if you are being sensible with your money - and they see it - then you are entitled to reward yourself with a nicer toy, and they should be happy for you..

They may be too frugal (tight) - like my Parents in Law and choose to drive a cheaper car just out of habit from earlier in life.

I'm in my early 30's now and the more I look at it the more I feel I am happy doing what I do with little pressure and just enjoying my family life rather than having the goal of exiting work life all together. The older I get the idea of doing anything every day because I can seems like a bit of a fools errand.

The mentality of exiting the workforce is - for most people - getting the freedom to choose rather than having to go to work.

Most folks who don't have to work still do - from my experience. They work instead at things they are interested in and enjoy.

 

[westminster]

I think you end up naturally finding a balance.

I'm muddling through this currently, so far what I have found
- I have picked up different work, ie mentoring etc.
- of course I have my development projects which take up a LOT of time
- volunteering is on the cards but not just yet
- school holidays just started and we have heaps more fun plans now that I'm not restricted to 4 weeks annual leave spread over 12 weeks of school holidays.
- I can do 80% of my work during school hours so I can do the school run and spend time with the kids in the afternoon.

I totally get what you are saying though about setting an example to the kids. I think I'm finding a balance for that but we'll see. My 15yo understands the choice I made to spend more time with him and our 8yo and 6yo. I've shared a lot of details about developing with him and he's probably more au fait with the projects than Mr Westminster.

If I was doing passive income then it might be harder but developing got me out of the rat race with still work to do.

 

[TMNT]

Very valid points everyone,

I can imagine one of those european hardship stories, lets say ma and pa came over with the clothes on their back and $100,

and both absolutely work their butt of 18 hours a day , they start a restaurant, both work day and night, they invest aggressively, both drive abeat up corolla, go out to dinners once a month, always cook at home, buy second hand clothes, absolutely have no luxuries

they have kids late at 35, and by 42, they now sell their restaurant and live off their rents of their 8 fully paid off IPS earning $2000 per week

they retire at 42 after a lifetime of hardship and sweat and tears, their kids are too young to remember their struggles, and now that they are 7 years old, all they see is mum and dad, drive around their two mercedes, live in a bluechip area, go on internatinal holidays every year, eat out three times a week, and buy expensive branded goodies.

I wouldnt be surprised if the kids think mum and dad are lazy rich people who do nothing other then plan international holidays and book restaurants.

so what do you do?? pretend to work? work for the sake of working to teach kids life experience?

 

[The Y-man]

You've got adult (or teenage?) children skater..

Refer character that goes by the name "Lil Skater" on the forum......

The Y-man

 

[Tonibell]

The cost of raising kids is easy to underestimate when they are young.

We made the decision to put our children through private school - right from when they started. This completely changed the financial outlook and closed off quite a few other options. Thoughts of retirement have been signifanctly changed as a result.

I know others where the talents or difficulties of their children have completely changed where their money goes.

Easy to get too far ahead with your thought - children change everything !!

 

[INVSTOR]

Some really great points above that I totally relate to. I'm also finding as my kids are reaching teenage years clothes become more important as well as more expensive along with a huge increase in grocery bills. Even going out for lunch costs a lot more as they eat adult meals.

 

[kathryn d]

Rob and I have been working 10 hrs a day, 6 days a week, and 5 hrs on Sunday for the past 2 months. We have also hired a handyman, and he can work as many hours a day as he wants.

This afternoon, we noticed 2 of or newest tenants relaxing under the tree at one of our properties. Probably mid-thirties, no kids, no jobs...welfare.

Rob and I discuss them.
This couple can't even look forward to retirement. They don't have any achievements in their life. Unless they win the lottery, or someone gives them money, their life will never improve.
This is worse than working at a job, and wanting to retire...in our opinion.

 

[INVSTOR]

Rob and I have been working 10 hrs a day, 6 days a week, and 5 hrs on Sunday for the past 2 months. We have also hired a handyman, and he can work as many hours a day as he wants.

This afternoon, we noticed 2 of or newest tenants relaxing under the tree at one of our properties. Probably mid-thirties, no kids, no jobs...welfare.

Rob and I discuss them.
This couple can't even look forward to retirement. They don't have any achievements in their life. Unless they win the lottery, or someone gives them money, their life will never improve.
This is worse than working at a job, and wanting to retire...in our opinion.

Sitting under a tree without a care in the world sounds pretty good. Maybe we are the silly ones.

 

[MTR]

The older I get the idea of doing anything every day because I can seems like a bit of a fools errand.

Not sure what you mean by this?
If you have choice to do what ever you please because you are financially free, why would this be foolish?

Cheers
MTR

 

[jim1964]

Sitting under a tree without a care in the world sounds pretty good. Maybe we are the silly ones.

I read this and thought the same.Who knows what they earn or have achieved.Never Judge A Book By Its Cover because you just never know.

 

[ok180]

Not sure what you mean by this?
If you have choice to do what ever you please because you are financially free, why would this be foolish?

Cheers
MTR

What i mean is trying to acheive financial freedom for myself at a young age (less than for 50 perhaps) could actually be detrimental to my children.

 

[Andrew_A]

Good questions! Finance is just math; whereas living well definitely has a lot of 'art' mixed into it.

I think there's some consolation in philosophy, to borrow a title, if you read the work from Roman and Greek philosophers you will notice that people have been people for a very long time! Whatever works for you providing you are adding value to the world and not harming others I think

 

[D.T.]

Exhibit A of why I don't ever want kids

I don't think exiting rat race sends a bad message at all. As a child, I would have loved if I could have been taken to school or picked up, or had them watch sports carnivals, or have them do stuff in holidays rather than palming me off to other people. I think being able to spend time with them is a far greater message than you suspect.

You still need to do a bit of work administering the assets (especially if developing or renovating lol) plus volunteering your time somewhere maybe.

 

[Angel]

We would have loved to take our kids out of school, travel the world, teach them all about the Ancient Civilisations in real life.....
That wasn't the hand we were dealt.

I can see merit in everyone's comments above, so Mr Ok, how about taking your kids out of school for a year, travelling the world, teaching them far more than they could ever learn in a classroom, and afterwards going back to a job if you want to. Or not, if you don't want to. There are many jobs out there that a person might find rewarding, but low paid, which you can always do when you don't have to be earning the big $$$. We can always find that right balance when we are not stressed about finding enough $$ to pay the mortgage.

 

[ok180]

Im not sure how pulling a kid out of school and travelling for a year will benefit them? If my parents done that to me when i was 7 or 8 and i had to lose all my friends and repeat a year i would have been damn pissed!