OK, I stayed calm, and channeled the energy where I felt it would be most effective.
Consequences:
- iphone taken away
- internet restricted
- he got his P driver's license today, and was to be granted use of one of the cars. that's canned until October.
- grounded from social events
- additional chores
- banned from watching his two favorite tv shows for a month
- $300 from his wages will go towards professional carpet and lounge cleaning.
Lol! He got away easy! I remember when i was 13, i decided to go get my belly button pierced (without permission of course!) i was grounded for 3 months, and not a normal grounding or a weak one.
Went something like this:
No phone (home and mobile), no TV, no boyfriend to come to mine and i was not allowed to see him, no friends, no after school anything except training and i had to be home by around 3:20pm as i walked, no computer including internet, i had to take out the piercing - which my friends re-pierced for me the next day (ouch!) but i removed it because i didn't want to get in more trouble, basically i was taken back to the 1800s.
Gradually things started being removed, in the order that i cared about least.
Difference was, i told my parents as i felt guilty!!! Since then i've gotten a few more piercings (possibly an understatement - you be the judge) but my parents have either known or it was a piercings of my ears.
On a similar story however, when i was 17 i went to a friends 18th birthday and had a few drinks, my sister turned up unexpected and i was "hammered" she told my parents (
) but i didn't get grounded, but i remember them telling me how disappointed they were in me - that was worse than any grounding.
Coming from an 18 year old, i think you have to develop that close relationship with your kids early on to avoid unwanted nasties like this, unfortunately i haven't gotten very close to my parents until i was probably 17.
I won't go into the details of my younger teenage years - but if this is the only problem you've had, you had it easy. Yes it was wrong, yes he deserves to be punished, but you should always let him know that he can come to you and be open..I only wish i knew this years ago, it would've made a lot of difference in the years that i did a lot of stupid stuff.
As stupid as this sounds, perhaps talk to him again and revise your punishment, give him a bit more rope - after all he is an "adult" soon and needs to make mistakes, with this rope see what he does, if he chooses to abuse this privilege then it's too bad and back to the original plan, if he doesn't then you know he has learnt his lesson.