Update - Earthquake 2012
In the wake of the Earthquake (measuring 5.3) in Moe on the 19th June 2012, the Gillard Govt has announced a new Govt initiative to address Seismic concerns moving forward to eliminate the possibility of future Earthquakes in the Region.
The PM said” My Govt cannot and will not sit by and let these events continue to occur unabated. We must address the events in Moe and prevent them happening elsewhere in future. My Govt’s direct action policy is to implement an STS(Seismic Trading Scheme), not a tax, to ensure these events won’t occur again.”
The Treasurer expanded further with details of how this scheme will work.
Swan said “It’s really quite simple, we will be putting a levy on every person with a BMI(Body Mass Index) greater than 20 who is on an income over $100,000 pa for singles and $150,000 pa for working families. This will encourage those causing the Seismic events to reduce their BMI. It is important Australia takes the lead on this issue and shows the rest of the world how to stop these Seismic events from unfolding in the first place. As part of the compensation package, 50% of the levy collected will be delivered to the Australian people who are under an income of $80,000 for singles and $100,000 for working families as compensation for the STS." The remainder will go towards Administration costs. "Peter Garrett will head up the new portfolio, as he dances like he's standing in the middle of an Earthquake anyway", said Swan.
He expanded further saying “If our neighbours, such as Indonesia implemented such a scheme we could drastically reduce Seismic activities throughout the region, it would be pretty easy there as they really only have a handful of fat rich blokes causing the problem in the poorer countries.”
The opposition leader Tony Abbott commented “There is no evidence this will do anything to prevent Earthquakes in the future. I strongly believe the events in Moe are a direct result of the Carbon Tax this Govt is imposing on the Australian People. When questioned further on the link between the Carbon Tax and the Earthquake in Moe by a puzzled Media throng, Mr Abbott replied “ Look….you simply cannot release the amount of cash this Govt has as the Carbon Tax compensation package in Moe, and not expect a Seismic event when that number of poker machines spin simultaneously.”
The Shadow treasurer was less than impressed. Hockey commented “There doing f^%ken What!?!?!? This is a discriminatory tax that is essentially going to see me personally directly supporting that Watermelon Bob Brown’s retirement”.
Parliament will commence debate on the STS in the coming days, as soon as they have finalised the committee findings on whether Craig Thomson’s latest claims are true. Thomson continues to deny the claims that he used HSU funds to sleep with a prostitute stating “It is not possible I am still a virgin and have the hymen to prove it.”
More as further developments arise in the coming day.
