Should I go down the angry end?

[Risky Business]

G'day all,

Just wondering what you think.

My lovely misses is about to give birth to our first child and I'm not sure if I should venture down to the angry end and view the birthing process.

I want to support her, and I'm naturally a curious bloke. I'm also a little bit scared of the show and think that what I don't know won't kill me.

What do you think? From those who've been in the room before, any regrets?


Cheers.

 

[porp_e]

lol, nice poll. I'm a subscriber to leaving some things to the imagination so voted for 'stay up top'.

 

[Jen_PFR]

I'm a woman and I voted stay up top. There are things which, once seen, cannot be unseen

And congratulations!!

 

[kathryn d]

I voted for staying at the top.
You really should ask your wife how she feels about it.

 

[profit]

You really should ask your wife how she feels about it.

This. But after only a few hours ALL females have voted for staying up top. And I don't think that sentiment will change. You have your answer.

 

[evand]

You get only one chance to see your child come into the world. I was down there watching. And it was amazing! I say go and see it but each to their own. Its a personal thing with you and your wife after all.

 

[Sheryn]

Risky Business

Since you are 'risky' I would say stand up and look over the legs (top down) rather than sit down if you so desire. Generally hubby's hand is being gripped by wife and there is no way she will let go nor is there room at the business end as you wrote.

Discuss with midwife & Doctor as they may have a mirror etc. so you can see.

Deliveries are busy, usually one midwife managing a few ladies in different stages of labour, phones lady's Doctor when one lady getting close to delivery and rings bell for extra help from midwife working on maternity ward when delivery imminate.

Truely not too bad down the business end most of the time depending on the way the wife wants to deliver eg. on bed or squating etc.


One question - Do you get lightheaded at the sight of blood, if so stay up the top end?


Kind Regards
Sheryn

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

You get only one chance to see your child come into the world. I was down there watching. And it was amazing! I say go and see it but each to their own. Its a personal thing with you and your wife after all.

Me too.

Forget preconceptions about 'angry' (or however else you want to describe it). Watching a child being born is an amazing thing, and not to be missed. It will help you understand what your wife is going through as well.

My wife had 2 days of difficult labour followed by an emergency C-section, and I watched the entire thing, even looking over the surgical blanket as they cut her open and my son was lifted out.

 

[Ozibob]

If your wife is ok with it have a look, it is truly amazing and so beautiful to watch, i wouldn't miss it.
Remember you might only get 1 chance.

 

[joanmc]

LOL Ok I am the woman who said go down and experience the pain BUT do not get so excited by the whole thing that you forget it is your wife and not some interesting science experiment!!!
I cannot imagine not having my hubby with me and it was a wonderful experience for us both. I think it gave him a better perspective (pardon the pun) on what the birthing process is.
Oh and when she says she hates you and that you are never having sex again....she's (probably) not serious.

 

[Bargain Hunter]

RB,

I'm sure there is nothing more wonderful then watching your baby being born however I believe the man is there to support and comfort his partner throughout the labour.

If your partner wants you down there then great, but I think in most cases a woman would want her man up top to encourage her, hold her hand, cool here head, and let her know she's doing great. He is there to take her mind off what is happening down there.

He takes the abuse when she blames it all on him, hears words that he didn't even think she knew, and accepts the pain when she pinches him because it is nothing like what she is going through.

If you ask me the angry end and the top end are one and the same.

At the end of the day everyone will have their own opinion but there is only one opinion that matters.

What does your lovely lady want?

Regardless of her answer be understanding and flexible. She may say one thing in the calm of the lounge room and another on the day.

Good luck, and I wish you both a trouble free birth.

Regards

Andrew

 

[Fourex]

I was looking for the I'm a bloke stay outside option!

Hence stay up top.

Cheers,

Fourex.

 

[our obsession]

G'day all,

Just wondering what you think.

My lovely misses is about to give birth to our first child and I'm not sure if I should venture down to the angry end and view the birthing process.

I want to support her, and I'm naturally a curious bloke. I'm also a little bit scared of the show and think that what I don't know won't kill me.

What do you think? From those who've been in the room before, any regrets?


Cheers.

Birthing has come a long way, if you think you might get the squelches, just inform the staff, you are not the first or last, and although they try to keep an eye on you too, (nobody but nobody wants dad crashing onto floor potentially hurting himself), just remind them you may not last down the business end, (it aint the angry end honey, that's mostly the fun and some birthing business end )

There are many scenarios and choices, once there and baby is on the way to meet you and mum you well get caught up in the 'moment' and be fine...or you may feel unsettled, bit too much theatre going on, that can be managed by staying closer up away from the action, you might even choose to go get some fresh air, how about crunching through a few 'possibles' scenario/strategies with your partner so at least you have a few plans up your sleeve, and she isn't left worrying about birthing and your wellbeing too?

Don't forget the benefit of some deep breath(s) either, sounds corny and filmish but it has a useful purpose. Other thing is have you had an opportunity to see the pre natal birthing films? Gives you a good idea in a roundabout 'what to expect'. Sometimes that can work for a support partner in a desensitising way..

Congratulations on the almost ready arrival of little Risky Business and hope it all goes well for all of you, but have a few plans, you may find you do just fine, or have a few moves up your sleeve. There is no set-in-concrete-thing, generally speaking it is a moment everyone works hard to make it the 'special' thing it is for the parents and baby...discuss it with your birthing team too, they have been there, done that and may have some other options for your consideration.

 

[Propertunity]

....Other thing is have you had an opportunity to see the pre natal birthing films? Gives you a good idea in a roundabout 'what to expect'.

Does this one count? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arCITMfxvEc

 

[our obsession]

Does this one count? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arCITMfxvEc

Hilarious, LOVE it!

Love the python team, John Cleese rocks, hadn't seen that one, it is a classic. Gold. Ping.

 

[Luv2Travel]

If the bottom end is the angry end, what's the top end?

I think it's something you need to talk to your wife about. I've never seen more than television footage, but that was enough to scar me for life.

 

[wylie]

Having had three c-sections, hubby was at the top with me, holding my hand, whilst I was very lost and not knowing what was going on. He was able to keep me informed, as I could see nothing.

Had I had "normal" deliveries, I would still have wanted him up the top with me. He has a weak stomach so I reckon he would have hit the deck anyway .

He cannot watch anything with blood on TV but he did tell me the doctor was up to his ankles in blood and fluid and that was enough for him. He was very happy up the "happy end". Meanwhile the doctor had to lift the middle boy out with forceps anyway whilst muttering "this is a BIG pork chop!!" in between discussing his golf with the doctor assisting.

So, I say, ask your wife and be flexible and able to change to suit what she is needing at the time. It is a wife's prerogative to change her mind .

 

[marg4000]

Hubby stayed with me through all 3 labours but went outside for the actual birth. He didn't want to be there, and I wanted the attention on ME, not on him out cold on the floor.

Widely criticised by some, but frankly it was none of their business.

Do what you and your wife decide works for you.
Marg

 

[jezza]

Gone through 3 ( as the male) 26hr, 21hr & Emerg Ceasar and my tip is do whatever she wants you to do, its not a 3d cinama so just enjoy the same view no need to know about the preview. By the way if you get the chance try the gas and in no way should you ever remind her that this was her idea

Jezza

 

[Nards]

Been through 2 births (as the female) and hubby was there throughout. He/we hadn't decided if he was going to watch the deliveries, but in the end he did, and reckons it was the most amazing thing he has ever seen, "life-changing" and wouldn't ever miss it. By the time the delivery came, frankly, I couldn't have cared less where he was, or what he was watching! ("Get this thing out of meeeee!!!"). The actual delivery is the end of what is generally a very long and difficult road, and its hard to predict how you will feel once you get to the last part. I suggest going along for the ride and see how it all pans out...birth plans are all well and good in theory, but often don't come off in reality...go with the flow..

Cheers,
Nadia