Some people are making it harder...

[Monopoly]

I'm sure I've asked it before but what the hey - why would anyone mention to anyone else including family anything about your property or share investments unless it is to skite or brag about how much better you are than them? And people keep wondering why they get negative comments about every new property purchase - no one likes a person who keeps going on and on and on about how much richer or better off they are than everybody else.

Just keep it to yourselves and you won't have to deal with other people's negativity.

Sorry Nat (no disrespect, but) I beg to differ...I personally never make mention of (any of) my investments to anyone (family or otherwise) unless specifically asked. I find that 99% of the time people only ask out of politeness and/or curiousity; they don't really want to know, hence I try not to tell. Generally this works well, but unfortunately for those people (such as my family) who DO know me ie. a young(ish) retiree not living on a pension, tend to make it their business to grill me about my latest acquisitions etc. I try as much as possible not to say too much, because I don't believe that this is necessary and because I try to remember that I wasn't always as well off as I am today!!

I've NEVER felt the need, inclination nor desire to skite, or "go on and on" why would I?? Though if I really wanted to at least I'd do so in a place where it'd be appreciated?? I probably divulge more here than if you met me in person. Anyway, there's always bound to be one or two windbags here that will do enough big noting for all of us!!!

 

[tess85]

I probably divulge more here than if you met me in person. Anyway, there's always bound to be one or two windbags here that will do enough big noting for all of us!!!

Lol at the windbags I divulge more here on SS as well, than in real life. My parents don't know that we have recently acquired 2 IPs although I may someday tell them. It's a shame that I can't really talk to anyone in real life about it though, thank goodness for SS

 

[jaycee]

Not at all. I'm suggesting that you may learn something you didn't know by talking to other people about your stratergies/opinions/experiences in the hope that they will have their own ideas that you yourself can learn from.

How do you learn that your cousins mate runs a bobcat business that will come in handy or your mate has some information about something that's going to happen in a certain town if you don't talk about it. I'm not saying rave on about property, I'm not even saying bring the topic up, just that there is some advantage to be gained by joining a discusion about it. Sure you might cop some angstbut how else do you find out people that do want to talk about it and people you yourself can learn a lot from?

This really is a polarising subject. There are those that see benefit in discussing it (not telling everyone how good you are!) and those that wouldn't discuss it at all.

I can see the benefits so although I wouldn't start the conversation I'm more than happy to join in for my own benefit and generally not for the others benefit as I do have enough respect for all my family or friends. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking with them

But this what people are talking about....

 

[natmarie73]

I've NEVER felt the need, inclination nor desire to skite, or "go on and on" why would I??

It was a hypothetical question since this topic keeps coming back again and again and again ad infinitum. I'm sure most of us seasoned investors keep things to ourselves moreso than new investors. I just can't fathom how such a conversation would go where someone is telling someone else how much property they own. I wouldn't even tell someone I knew was an investor and even if they asked I'd just give a very vague answer and change the topic. Much like being asked how many men you've slept with really - the truth should never be revealed

 

[Monopoly]

It was a hypothetical question since this topic keeps coming back again and again and again ad infinitum. I'm sure most of us seasoned investors keep things to ourselves moreso than new investors. I just can't fathom how such a conversation would go where someone is telling someone else how much property they own. I wouldn't even tell someone I knew was an investor and even if they asked I'd just give a very vague answer and change the topic. Much like being asked how many men you've slept with really - the truth should never be revealed

Natmarie, I understand completely what you're saying and for the most part couldn't agree more. Some things are definitely better left unsaid!

However, even the simplest or (vaguest if you will) comment you make can be too much and if someone is adamant to talk about a topic they will force/dance you around in a circle till you're back to it, and then what? Try to change the topic repeatedly, walk away or just sternly tell them you don't wish to discuss the matter there topic closed?

The reason I ask this, is because I have been in such situations, one time in particular where I literally had to make excuses to visit the bathroom because walking off wasn't enough; the person followed. It was so embarrassing especially when they asked in a bellowing voice if I had a bladder problem??!! I have been hounded by all sorts of people ranging from the mildly curious to the borderline stalker types. So please forgive me if I sound a tad unimpressed with the suggestion of merely changing the subject; even changing the side of the room wasn't enough!!

Anyway, as I said in my last post; please understand I meant no disrespect and I know you must be sick of reading through peoples droll of how many houses they own, deals they've closed/landed in their laps/at their feet etc, but the reality is that this is (for many) the only safe haven.

On a personal note, what I can do though...

Is promise not to be one of those who "goes on and on" but should I ever do this, please I want you to be the first to tell me to put a cork in it okay??

 

[skater]

It was a hypothetical question since this topic keeps coming back again and again and again ad infinitum. I'm sure most of us seasoned investors keep things to ourselves moreso than new investors. I just can't fathom how such a conversation would go where someone is telling someone else how much property they own. I wouldn't even tell someone I knew was an investor and even if they asked I'd just give a very vague answer and change the topic. Much like being asked how many men you've slept with really - the truth should never be revealed

I think you will find it stems from newbie investors being excited (rather than skiting) and wanting to tell somebody about their purchase, afterall most people share the important things in their lives with the people they love. As they get more more experience under their belts, they learn to keep this one passion to themselves and only speak about it when asked, or with other investors, or on here.

Actually I have a good friend (met through SS) who is also an investor. We see each other often as well as speak on the phone. Property usually comes up in one way or another. I really enjoy our conversations, but I don't think even she knows the exact number of IPs we own. I could be wrong though as I didn't think Lil knew either, until the other day when she said "You have XX IPs now, don't you? Damn kids.

 

[kathryn d]

Try being less than 50 financially independent self-funded retiree, and see what you get called and/or accused of then??? Trust me, it ain't pretty!!!

Hopefully when I finish work this year, my co workers will remember the lunches brought from home, carrying the thermos of coffee, wearing clothes a long time before buying new ones (second hand), having the same vehichle for the past 10 years.
Not going on frequent vacations, smoking or drinking (much)
Downsizing from a large 4 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom unit.(owned)

We deserve this. We worked hard for it.

 

[Monopoly]

Hopefully when I finish work this year, my co workers will remember the lunches brought from home, carrying the thermos of coffee, wearing clothes a long time before buying new ones (second hand), having the same vehichle for the past 10 years.
Not going on frequent vacations, smoking or drinking (much)
Downsizing from a large 4 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom unit.(owned)

We deserve this. We worked hard for it.

I hope (for your sake) they do too Kathryn, but if they don't, whatever you do...don't take it personally. Chances are it won't be those little sacrifices or indulges you never took that will stay vivid in their minds, it will be the reason why you finished up especially if you are under 60 (which from memory, you are by about half yeah? )

Yes you deserve EVERY minute of your retirement; you've earnt it. My advice to you is don't worry about what they will remember of you, but rather the things you're glad to be forgetting and the new memories you're about to create which will truly be worth looking back on in years to come.

Enjoy!

 

[kissfan]

Much like being asked how many men you've slept with really - the truth should never be revealed

So Nat.......ummmmm.....how many m.. never mind.

Regards
Marty

 

[kissfan]

However, even the simplest or (vaguest if you will) comment you make can be too much and if someone is adamant to talk about a topic they will force/dance you around in a circle till you're back to it, and then what? Try to change the topic repeatedly, walk away or just sternly tell them you don't wish to discuss the matter there topic closed?

one time in particular where I literally had to make excuses to visit the bathroom because walking off wasn't enough; the person followed. It was so embarrassing especially when they asked in a bellowing voice if I had a bladder problem??!!

On a personal note, what I can do though...

Hi Jo.

Personally, if it were me, I would politely say that I never discuss 'business' and if the questions kept coming, I'd just keep repeating myself.

Re the bladder problem question, I'd have responded (also in a bellowing voice) "yes, actually I do have a bladder problem, would you mind cleaning up after me". But I don't expect a lady such as yourself to be so blunt

Regards
Marty

 

[Monopoly]

Hi Jo.

Personally, if it were me, I would politely say that I never discuss 'business' and if the questions kept coming, I'd just keep repeating myself.

Re the bladder problem question, I'd have responded (also in a bellowing voice) "yes, actually I do have a bladder problem, would you mind cleaning up after me". But I don't expect a lady such as yourself to be so blunt

Regards
Marty

Thanks Marty, your suggestion had me in stitches!!

Unfortunately it's not bluntness that would have prevented my retalation (I can be very blunt) but rather lung capacity! Being only small (and in comparison to the BIG OXYMORON in question) my voice would have rendered me near inaudible!!

But you'll be pleased to learn that I did silence him eventually (after enduring several outbursts) I motioned for him to move closer (to eye level; seriously he was HUGE) whispered a few very select words in his ear, he turned the cutest shade of red and walked away without so much as another word!!

 

[kissfan]

But you'll be pleased to learn that I did silence him eventually (after enduring several outbursts) I motioned for him to move closer (to eye level; seriously he was HUGE) whispered a few very select words in his ear, he turned the cutest shade of red and walked away without so much as another word!!

That's my girl. You make me proud

Regards
Marty

 

[Sheryn]

People who, in social situations and without prompting, talk incessantly about money, how much they have and how they got it are, without exeception, self-absorbed and dull.

TF - Our friends all seem interested in each others retirement plans and income streams, superannuation etc. Hot topic is how much do you think you need to retire at 55 years of age? Bearing in mind you will pay 15% if you access Superannuation etc..

TF - you may be younger!

Kind Regards
Sheryn

 

[rugrat]

People like to talk about what they find interesting. Unfortunately, money (and thus property investing), politics and religion are those areas you need to use 'caution' when discussing. The problem is if you censor yourself completely, you are doing yourself a disservice. There is nothing wrong with showing pride in your accomplishments, although there are sadly some people who will always think such accomplishments are about them.

 

[joanmc]

I find it most awkward when i am asked "what did you do on the weekend?" am I supposed to lie? I was renovating an investment property. So if I tell the truth I am "self-absorbed and boring" but what am I if I am constantly lying?

I found this double standard when I was "just" a stay at home mum. My working friends talked about their work all the time and that was acceptable but if I talked about my work (the kids) I was an obsessed mother with no life!

So when we were workers and only had bosses to complain about and overtime and the latest work scandal that's ok, but now that our work is full on investing it is suddenly not ok to talk about it.....wierd

 

[Token Funder]

TF - Our friends all seem interested in each others retirement plans and income streams, superannuation etc. Hot topic is how much do you think you need to retire at 55 years of age? Bearing in mind you will pay 15% if you access Superannuation etc..

TF - you may be younger!

Kind Regards
Sheryn

When retirement income planning become the hot topic of your social circle, change circles

Well, I'm younger than,say, my father, but haven't been (or looked) "young" for some time.

 

[kathryn d]

At work they know we have rentals.
I don't so much about the properties, as I do about the tenants.
I don't tell the names of my tenants, but usually its about their last month of staying at our properties.They stop paying (generally) and leave the place like a pig sty.

 

[wylie]

I find it most awkward when i am asked "what did you do on the weekend?" am I supposed to lie? I was renovating an investment property. So if I tell the truth I am "self-absorbed and boring" but what am I if I am constantly lying?

This is what I find too. My few close friends understand and I can tall them I have been painting/ripping out a bathroom/laying turf/whatever all weekend, but if it is someone I don't know I tend to not say what I have been doing, and then I seem very dull indeed .... like I have been doing nothing.

At least by the state of my nails after a renovation, they know I haven't been sitting in a nail salon, and I ALWAYS have some left over paint around the backs of my elbows .

I found this double standard when I was "just" a stay at home mum. My working friends talked about their work all the time and that was acceptable but if I talked about my work (the kids) I was an obsessed mother with no life!

My close friends understand, and anybody else (certainly the yummy mummies who are dressed nicely to pick up from school, whilst I am covered in paint) who might judge me can go take a flying leap.

 

[Monopoly]

I find it most awkward when i am asked "what did you do on the weekend?" am I supposed to lie? No not at all. I was renovating an investment property. Simply remove the last 3 words

See there's no need to lie, just as there is no need to expand on the truth!! Should they ask "renovating what?" you can truthfully come back wth "our house".

Of course doing this constantly will make them think:

a) you're either very slow or pretty bad (at renovating), or
b) you're forever changing your minds, hence why you're still doing it!!!!

But hey, really who gives a rats what they THINK right????????

 

[natmarie73]

Natmarie, I understand completely what you're saying and for the most part couldn't agree more. Some things are definitely better left unsaid!

However, even the simplest or (vaguest if you will) comment you make can be too much and if someone is adamant to talk about a topic they will force/dance you around in a circle till you're back to it, and then what? Try to change the topic repeatedly, walk away or just sternly tell them you don't wish to discuss the matter there topic closed?

The reason I ask this, is because I have been in such situations, one time in particular where I literally had to make excuses to visit the bathroom because walking off wasn't enough; the person followed. It was so embarrassing especially when they asked in a bellowing voice if I had a bladder problem??!! I have been hounded by all sorts of people ranging from the mildly curious to the borderline stalker types. So please forgive me if I sound a tad unimpressed with the suggestion of merely changing the subject; even changing the side of the room wasn't enough!!

Anyway, as I said in my last post; please understand I meant no disrespect and I know you must be sick of reading through peoples droll of how many houses they own, deals they've closed/landed in their laps/at their feet etc, but the reality is that this is (for many) the only safe haven.

On a personal note, what I can do though...

Is promise not to be one of those who "goes on and on" but should I ever do this, please I want you to be the first to tell me to put a cork in it okay??

It's very difficult to avoid the subject when people actively ask you about this or that I agree. Just last night at a BBQ myself and the partner of a work colleague were discussing investment properties amongst ourselves while the rest of the circle were discussing the usual who is sleeping with who and why is it so hard to find a decent man in Newman topics. This person knows I invest and her partner and I chat about investment at work because he also wants to further invest and they are interested in CF+. If someone asks me about investing I am happy to talk about it but will never divulge numbers and will never bring up the topic myself. I will discuss it with people I know well and who are also investors but not strangers. My question I guess is why would people keep trying to talk to their family/friends about their investment portfolio once they know they are not interested?

It is funny how like minded people tend to "find" each other though - almost like some weird telepathy.

As for people here going on and on and on about houses they own, deals they've closed/landed in their laps/at their feet etc well this is an investment forum and it is what I would expect to read about and want to read about otherwise how do we learn? Not that I think anyone on this forum goes on and on about their portfolios anyway.