this is a career which comes to mind which does not require extra study
PARENT
Job Description
**POSITION:**
* Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
**JOB DESCRIPTION:**
* Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in
an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to
work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive
camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in
far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* Extensive courier duties also required.
**RESPONSIBILITIES:**
* The rest of your life.
* Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone
needs $5.
* Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as
small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
* Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
production of multiple homework projects.
* Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for
clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
the next.
* Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the
end product.
* Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial
work throughout the facility.
**POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:**
* None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your
skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
**PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:**
* None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
**WAGES AND COMPENSATION:**
* Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A
balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption
that college will help them become financially independent.
* When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you
actually enjoy it and wish you could do more.
**BENEFITS:**
* While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal
growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if
you play your cards right.
AND A FOOTNOTE...
**'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!**
