If you were getting married today, or you had to help pay for a wedding for your chil

[skater]

Before I even start this thread I would like to appologise as I know this should be in the Coffee Lounge, but there is no option for a poll there, so would like one of the Mods to transfer it if possible.

I had to travel to the City the other day, so bought a magazine to read on the train. I came to an article about weddings & was shocked at some of the responses, so thought I would put the same question to the forum.

Statistics show the average wedding costs a whopping $40k. We ask "Is having a lavish wedding money well spent?"[/I]

There are 3 answers for both yes & no, so here are the answers:

Yes

1) My husband & I like the nicer things in life. All up the wedding cost $50k, not including our bucks' & hens' nights. This couple lived with one of the parents rent-free for 2 years before-hand & say that they could have used the money to renovate their home, but that is something they can do over time.

2) I would do it because my parents would pay for it. You want to keep it small - exclusive, but expensive.

3) You're only going to get married once & $40k won't get you a good deposit on a house these days anyway.

No

1) I didn't have a huge wedding - it was small & homely affair. A big, lavish wedding is not really my style.

2) It's a waste of money. I'd go on a holiday or a cruise instead. Hopefully she'd still want to marry me.

3) I first wed 20 years ago & had a huge wedding with 280 guests. I cost over the average wage back then. It was a stressful day & I was disappointed that it went so fast after so much money had been spent. When I was 41 I married my current partner for $5000. We had a wonderful, stress free day.


So the question I ask is: If you were getting married today, or you had to help pay for a wedding for your child, how much would you be willing to spend?

 

[lizzie]

when current hubby and i got married it cost us less than $1000. we got married at home, self catered with cooked chickens, bbq, various salads and breads and nibbles. lots of champange. a celebrant. the kids playing their instruments during the wedding. nice dress was bought on sale. couple of hire plants to pretty the balcony up overlooking the bush reserve. 4 dozen helium ballons let loose in the big kitchen, family room where we ate and partied. cranked up the cd player ...

... and had a ball all day with our close friends and family who most arrived early to help - and drink!

my first wedding must've cost the parents a small fortune - cars, flash reception for over 100 people i hardly knew, invitations, big party the night before, the works - but didn't mean the marriage lastest. was i also so stressed about the day being perfect that i didn't enjoy it.

i know which one i'd rather choose if i had a choice to do either again.

 

[bailz66]

My wedding (March last year) was partly foot by my wifes parents however we didn't want any thing huge so it wasn't a gigantic cost for them. It probably cost about $3000 for the reception $600 for the service $600 for the dress.

My family paid for the alcohol (owned a winery at the time) so there was lots of expensive wine that cost very little and they put a tab on the bar for beer drinkers.

We both have large families so there was 100 of us there.

My wife and i paid for
Photography $1500
Honeymoon $3000
Suit and Dress $1000
Rings including engagement $1500 or so


My wifes mum cooked the cake which was great, she also provided the flowers and a catering / after party the next day.

So all up we spent around the 8k mark as a family group. It was a great day and quite stress free.

After the wedding our first step was to get a house. So because we didn't borrow any money for the wedding (but spent just about every last cent we had at the time) we could save and afford a property 8 months after getting married.

There is no need to go overboard for a wedding in my opinion make sure its a nice day but dont put yourself in financial burden i think

 

[skater]

I've only had the one wedding. We had all the trimmings, but on a very tight budget. We paid for it ourselves & I had only just bought our first home the year prior, so money was very tight. My dress was an ex-rental, & we utalised friends/relies for things they could provide as the present. A friend did the photography, Sister-in-law did the cake etc. We limited the guests to immediate family & a couple of close friends on either side. Reception was a buffet at the local club that they provided at a good cost.

We also had most things that newly weds would want, so asked for things that we could use to reno the house for presents & got roofing paint, wheelbarrow & many more unusual pressies.

 

[ianvestor]

Our actual wedding (coming up) is costing around $30k but we are spending the same again on a long-ish honeymoon. To us, we figure that if we only get married once then the price becomes insignificant over time and we'll be glad we had everything we wanted on the day.

 

[alexlee]

The irony is that the people who know how to handle money won't need parental gifts for the wedding, but if they receive them they'll use it wisely. Those who CAN'T handle money WILL need parental gifts, but they'll squander them.
Alex

 

[our obsession]

Everyone is entitled to their own dreams and wishes and preferences.

I, personally, (for me); don't believe in marriage, shebangs the whole box and dice...no marriage for me...merrily living in sin, what other people think of our situation is their problem. (Referring to some whom have expressed disdain/disappointment for *our situation*)...and they are entitled to their opinion.

However, we are very happy with our arrangement....money spent on various marriage frills and spills would be money we could spend on IP's...or horses, or travelling.

Life is good.

 

[Lamingtons]

URgh.. guilty look.
I'm getting married in October 08.. and at the start I kept telling MrL I'll just get a dress of the shelves in Chadstone or something. I morphed into a bloody bridezilla on a rampant rage against dress fitters. I went from $500 to $5000 couture. Then I decided I would try to find something that I liked but if i don't, I can justify the cost of $5000 (actually i couldn't and still cannot). I ended up buying a 'Budget' Mariana Hardwick dress which was $2200 plus alterations. HOw is $2200 plus $250 BUDGET?

The wedding industry is a rort.... Photographers starting at $2000, cakes at $6-10 per head.

Our wedding is looking at $20,000 at the moment and I'd rather have this paid into our PPOR mortgage or build a decking instead.

 

[warrioress]

We spent $25,000 give or take a few cents for our wedding in September. Our parents split the Reception cost so they put in about $10,000. We did have 300 guests though who were extremely generous and really did set us up after the wedding.

I TRIED to do things as thrifty as possible, but at the end of the day we did still spend $15,000.

Our wedding was a huge Croatian affair which is basically what I only know. I wouldn't have changed it for the world though - it was such a fun and colourful day.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

Got married 8 years ago, and it cost about 10k all up, including the honeymoon. Wife's parents did the reception, my folks did the drinks. Sister in law made the dress, and family did flowers, etc. We paid a thousand for the photos and about 3k for the honeymoon.

It was a great day, and I tried hard to keep (my) costs down. I don't regret it at all, and the marriage has been great.

 

[Sunfish]

My only wedding was nearly 45 years ago when an "expensive" wedding was when you hired a cab and put ribbons on the bonnet so irrelevant to this poll. I was a baggy assed private but my Warrant Officer ran the bar and our families, the cars and most catering.

The honeymoon was traveling from Townsville to Adelaide on posting. We arrived stoney broke.

I shake my head at the costs today and so many are only temporary arrangements anyway.

What about buying them tickets to Fiji and looking at the photos later?

 

[steveadl]

My girlfriend only want a small wedding. Doesn't really bother me either way as long as she's happy.

She reckons we'll only have 50 people. I tell her it'll probably be more like 100 by the time all the family and friends are there. I am realistic though, and I reckon even simpler weddings can cost a decent amount, so to be safe, I voted for $10-25k, but towards the lower end of that range.

 

[ruroshin]

My wedding will be in April 08 and we've done up a budget. All up it'll be about $40K. The reception dinner will cost the most as we're having about 340 people. She has a big family so over half of that is just her family alone. 10 people a table at $700 a table adds up.

However, the good news is that at vietnamese wedding reception it is a tradition for guests to give money for good luck and typically the money you receive there will cover the cost of the reception and leave you a little bit spare. So all up I'm expecting the wedding to cost about $5-10K.

 

[Shirley]

Expensive dress

Slightly off-track but I can imagine what this young lady will expect for her wedding in a few years time.......

At one of the year 12 formals held recently in NQ, a young girl wore an Alex Perry designed dress worth $13,000. Add the jewellery, shoes, handbag etc. and that's one generous daddy!

 

[feihong]

I would like to have a honeymoon wedding personally (2 ppl + celebrant in Fiji) but it's not possible due to cultural background. So we'll actually have 2 weddings, one in Melbourne, and one in Indonesia. I voted 10k-25k, but I know we would probably end up close to breaking even, as we usually receive red packets from the attendees of the wedding banquet. Can't wait for January to come and go!

 

[BayView]

I voted for no.1

The wedding day is important in as much as it is the milestone for your marriage, but we had a great day for $5k - all paid for by me.

The important thing is the marriage itself.

I think over-blown weddings are a waste of money and are people trying to show-off to their mates/family.

 

[Mooze]

First post but very relevant for me
My other half and I are getting married in April 08. Will be around 10k all up.
Most expensive is photographer at 2.5k, reception at 2.5k, dress 1.5k. We're having ceremony on a family farm with just family and close friends, then two days later having a three day gig at lake Macquarie with all the friends with kayaking, bushwalking, beach cricket etc. as well as the full reception (gourmet bbq at an slsc clubhouse). My family is kicking in 5k - his are paying for grog. So all up will probably cost us around 3k - unfortunately most of it will be my dress (still hunting for a second hand one but have to order soon). Will be a blast though as we actually get to spend quality time with everyone.

 

[Jase H]

We were married march 05 and it cost about 8.5k and another 7k for honeymoon.

For the poll I put up to 10k as sarah and i love travelling and so the 7k re. US/Mexico trip/honeymoon doesn't really form part of the wedding cost IMHO.

Like previous post we were married at my father in laws farm at Womboin (near canberra).

costs were roughly:
photographer 2.5k
marque (inc. dance floor) 1.1k
catering 1.8k
DJ 0.4k
Celebrant 0.4k
Dress 0.3k (2nd hand but beautiful!)
grog 1k (Dan murphys)
cake 0.2k
Suit hires 0.5k
Misc 0.5k

About 67 guests from memory. Awesome day and night had by all.
Money well spent.

I've been to dozens of weddings in recent years and i'd say ours would have been close to the cheapest BUT definitely the best

I mate of mine spent 50k on theirs plkus another 12k for honeymoon!

Jase

 

[Jase H]

So all up will probably cost us around 3k - unfortunately most of it will be my dress (still hunting for a second hand one but have to order soon). Will be a blast though as we actually get to spend quality time with everyone.

I see you are from Canberra as well. My wife sarah has a 2nd hand wedding dress which i'm sure she would be happy to let go. The dress is size 8 from memory. We live in Girlang. If you think it may be suitable PM either me or 'Poppy'

Jase

 

[Modal Harmony]

Very interesting thread this one......

My gorgeous wife and I have been married for 25 years and have 4 beautiful daughters as a result. No.1 got married in MAY07 and we had set up a share portfolio some 13 years ago which we called "The Weddings Fund". All the girls are keenly aware of shrewd investing (we have 5 IP's as well as the share porfolio).

When No.1 announced engagement in FEB07, we sold off her portion from the "fund" and said "Choose wisely!". which they did; examples:

1) Photographer: $600
2) Cars: $0 (friends)
3) Cake: $350
4) Dresses: $850 (see ** below)
5) Honeymoon: $2-3k
6) Reception: Gabba Cricket ground restaurant; $50/head; any drinkers had to buy their ownover the bar; 112 guests in total
7) Total wedding was ~$10k

** the 1 wedding and 4 bridesmaids & 1 formal dress came to this amount - no joke!! What happened was; a friend of ours married a Chinese girl in NOV06 in Australia and she procured her dress via a website www.citybridal.net (which is all in Mandarin). The net result was a stunning, superbly made gown. So No. 1 engaged the help of this Chinese girl and ordered the wedding dress, 4 bridesmaid dresses and 1 formal dress (for daughter No.4's pending formal). A very detailed specification sheet was completed and sent back to China. The whole parcel arrived in time in QLD and contained veil, gloves plus the 6 dresses for AUD850 delivered. This has got to be the best bargain any prospective bride could achieve!

The quality of workmanship and fabric was superb. One dress needed slight alteration and we had a professional seamstress do this - her remark was that the gown was very well constructed! Attached is a photo of the 5 dresses as delivered. Girls, PM me for any further details if interested (gee, I hope no SS forumites own dressmaking businesses here.......).