i can see my brother who is in his early 40's in 30 years time living in a small house still mortgaged to the eyeballs and on a pension still having to work full time in his 70's. I can see myself comfortably retired in 30 years time when I am 70 living in my fully paid off PPOR on an income of $60 K pa (todays money) after expenses.
You know what happens when his washing machine breaks down or some other expense like the car or something. Guess who he goes running to... yep mum and dad arrggh. Stop buying all that crap and build up your emergency buffer so that you can pay for these expenses yourself. Not get your parents to pay for it.
Hoping they can turn the corner like I have done recently.
Hi Alex,
It's interesting with family, isn't! We are all so different - some strive to improve their financial position, others work on different areas of their lives. Others seem to strike a great balance in all areas of their lives which is fantastic for them and inspiring for those looking on.
Is your brother aiming to achieve anything financially? Is he saving for a deposit on a house etc? He may simply be content the way he is - spending money he has on whatever he pleases - and this is fine.
From reading your post, the thing that irks you is that he seems to go to your parents to help out in emergencies. I agree with you - this part is irresponsible. Perhaps a quiet word to him about how hard your parents have worked to get what they have, and that it's time he really should stand on his own two feet. This approach may work. (Then again, it may not, and it may cause a rift - in which case, it really is better to bite your tongue - as hard as that may be!)
I also worry about my siblings. Last year my sister was forced to sell her home. Mainly due to irresponsible spending (like your brother). She now rents.
Could I have stepped in to help financially? Probably - without a question. Should I have? Who knows. But, the decision my wife and I made was not to provide money. The reason being, my wife and I have both worked full time for many years and have worked so hard to get what we now have. My sister and her husband - well, lets just say their work ethic is not as strong as their spending patterns. My wife and I could see that any help we gave my sister would just be wasted in the long term. (Eventually, they would just return to their old ways). How do we know this - we did try to help them with their loan structure a number of years ago, and my wife, who works with mortgages, rolled a number of their credit card debts into their mortgage etc. It all worked for a while, but then........
What made it easier for us is that my family (siblings anyway) have no idea what we have and we plan to keep it that way......