Network Monitoring

[Savanna100]

I'm with you WW and also Biggles, way too much freedon these days....if they want more freedom, they can move out !!!
Get yourself some keystoke logging software so you can see everything that goes on plus all their passwords.

For those here who dont understand how important this is, suck it up princess !!!

 

[JamesGG]

Forgive me, but I do wonder. If this proposal is a result of him breaching your trust, then would covertly monitoring his actions - online or otherwise - also be a breach of his trust in you?

Or, were you planning on letting him know that he has lost that freedom, as well...?

 

[Lil Skater]

I agree kids have too many rights due to parents being too willy nilly so to speak.

But he's 17 and screwed up once?!?!

He's an adult in a few months and I think at that age they deserve their privacy, if my parents did this to me when I was 17 I'd probably tell them to get f***ed. I think you need to trust your son and ease up a little, but I think this is just too far and something is not right with the picture.

I'm sorry WW i don't have kids, I'm not going to tell you how to raise them, but it would be most upsetting if you lose the relationship and trust with your son by going too far.

I'm now going to butt out because I know you're not going to listen to me, afterall I'm only 18 and what would I know about parenting. Although if I were in your situation I'd take advantage of having a person close to my childs age that doesn't think like a child to ask them their opinions and experiences.

Whatever you do, make sure you can handle the possibility of this punishment backfiring it would be very sad if things don't go to plan for your family. Food for thought I suppose....

 

[Strannik]

I'm with you WW and also Biggles, way too much freedon these days....if they want more freedom, they can move out !!!

so essentially what you are saying that you are happy for your kids to use drugs as long as they move out? wow!

suck it up princess !!!

goes both ways

 

[weg]

I'm with you WW and also Biggles, way too much freedon these days....if they want more freedom, they can move out !!!
Get yourself some keystoke logging software so you can see everything that goes on plus all their passwords.

For those here who dont understand how important this is, suck it up princess !!!

At 17 this sort of monitoring can backfire. That's the risk you take.

Developing a solid relationship based on trust and openess, and gradually giving rope works well too .

What happens when they turn 18?

I'd rather my kids learn to make good judgement rather than me force that upon them.

On the subject of monitoring, I did do this when they were younger, however I told them I was doing it.

My kids feel really bad when doing 'naughty' things behind my back and often confess.

There are different ways of going about things. Not all parenting that isn't authoritarian translates to slack parenting.

 

[Corey Batt]

I fully agree with WW, you should monitor full access without his knowledge. That way you can find the subversive materials, no doubt socialist propaganda websites, which are destroying all your child raising which you have done.

I think the only thing this would achieve is to find out his preference in porn genres.
Jeez.

 

[Monty Burns]

Depends on a number of things.

How computer literate are your kids, are you?
What sort of OS do you have and how is it setup?

if you have to go to the kids to ask how things are done
you will never be able to be able to keep on top of the kids
in monitoring.

You also have to be able to restrict the kids to their own
local account without admin rights otherwise again they
will beat you.

to be able to monitor what sites the kids are going to and
being able to monitor what they are typing are as I see it
2 different tasks possibly 2 different bits of software.

also be careful that the software doesn't record your CC and
bank account details and passwords either.

 

[Bigtone]

He sounds like a pretty good kid to me, personally i think this is way over the mark and u r risking your long term relationship with him.

He is 17yo, the shock and embarrassment when he finds out would be overwhelming and that reaction could have a massive impact of his short term schooling that you are so concerned about.

Imagine at 17 knowing your parents are watching all your contact with girls, friends and your Internet surfing, u could lose him forever. Is the risk of just talking to him so big that you are prepared to take such drastic action?

Please reconsider

 

[D.T.]

appreciate any help you can give.

Alright, this is a really crude method and does not involve finding / installing software which may not turn out to be any good anyways, but should satisfy your curiosity. This requires the computers to be on the same workgroup, if you need to know how to check this or change this let me know.

1. Jump on his computer, if he has a password to enter Windows I can show you how to break that but assume for the moment he doesn't.
2. Go into his MSN - most people have it on autologin or save password as I think that's the default set up.
3. Go to Tools, Options, Messages, turn on 'Automatically keep a history of my conversations'. It might be already on, and hope it is if you're
4. In Windows Explorer, double click on his C drive and see the Users folder. Right click on that and press properties. Go to the 'Sharing' tab, click on 'Advanced Sharing'. Tick 'Share this folder', give it a name (Such as SonsPC) and press Add. Press Ok to get out of it

Then, you'll be able to browse this folder from your own computer at your own leisure. And it'll be updated in real time each time he uses his computer. On your own computer, you may want to check such folders as:

• SonsPC\My Received Files which is where you'll find files he's been sent from his MSN friends. Within that there's a subfolder where all the history logs are found for MSN.
• Internet History can be found in SonsPC\appdata\local\microsoft\windows\history

Of course, if you have plenty of time available you could just browse those folders on his computer locally instead of setting it up to be shared with your computer. Sharing it has the advantage of granting you permanent access meaning the next day when he writes some more stuff you'll be able to see that too.

If you're wanting to know what goes on inside facebook you'd first have to get his password. This would allow keylogging software. It's been a long time since I've used this type of software so I'm not sure of any current ones, perhaps other posters might. The above stuff should get you what you need, though.

If you need any help / clarification with any of this let me know

I do ask you to consider some of the points mentioned by other posters in this thread, though.

 

[Bigtone]

Alright, this is a really crude method and does not involve finding / installing software which may not turn out to be any good anyways, but should satisfy your curiosity. This requires the computers to be on the same workgroup, if you need to know how to check this or change this let me know.

1. Jump on his computer, if he has a password to enter Windows I can show you how to break that but assume for the moment he doesn't.
2. Go into his MSN - most people have it on autologin or save password as I think that's the default set up.
3. Go to Tools, Options, Messages, turn on 'Automatically keep a history of my conversations'. It might be already on, and hope it is if you're
4. In Windows Explorer, double click on his C drive and see the Users folder. Right click on that and press properties. Go to the 'Sharing' tab, click on 'Advanced Sharing'. Tick 'Share this folder', give it a name (Such as SonsPC) and press Add. Press Ok to get out of it

Then, you'll be able to browse this folder from your own computer at your own leisure. And it'll be updated in real time each time he uses his computer. On your own computer, you may want to check such folders as:

• SonsPC\My Received Files which is where you'll find files he's been sent from his MSN friends. Within that there's a subfolder where all the history logs are found for MSN.
• Internet History can be found in SonsPC\appdata\local\microsoft\windows\history

Of course, if you have plenty of time available you could just browse those folders on his computer locally instead of setting it up to be shared with your computer. Sharing it has the advantage of granting you permanent access meaning the next day when he writes some more stuff you'll be able to see that too.

If you're wanting to know what goes on inside facebook you'd first have to get his password. This would allow keylogging software. It's been a long time since I've used this type of software so I'm not sure of any current ones, perhaps other posters might. The above stuff should get you what you need, though.

If you need any help / clarification with any of this let me know

I do ask you to consider some of the points mentioned by other posters in this thread, though.

is it legal to in effect steal a password and enter facebook or other sites without permission of the user?

if not what sort of message does that send? i am worried about u breaking the law so i have broken the law myslelf and completely betrayed your trust in the process?

 

[Luv2Travel]

WW, I think there are some valid points you should consider here mentioned by some people. I support breaching his privacy in order to protect him, if you think that will help, however you need to consider the consequences if you get caught. You know what your relationship is like with him, and what type of person he is, and how he might react, so only you know. I know myself, I was the sort of child who respected my parents, and if they did something I didn't like or disagreed with, at worst I would yell, cry and get angry with them, but at the end of the day, just accepted it as their parenting. However, as some have said, he might be the sort to move out of home and end up in even bigger trouble, completely out of your control.

How have you learned about this suspected drug dealing in the first place? Can you not try talking to him about it first and see how he responds? If you really believe this is the only way, then I think the ethics of it are fine. At the end of the day it's for his own good. Sure, let him make his own mistakes to learn from, as others have said, but mistakes like getting parking tickets, cheating on his girlfriend, wasting his money etc. Not drugs, I think this is too serious an issue. If you don't take the best action you think is best, then these few mistakes might be life changing in a bad way, rather than learning experiences. If he becomes addicted to drugs or deals to a mate who over doses and dies, or gets busted and ends up with a criminal record which will haunt him for the rest of his life... these are not mistakes anyone really wants to learn from after the event.

All the best WW, what a difficult position you are in.

 

[D.T.]

is it legal to in effect steal a password and enter facebook or other sites without permission of the user?

if not what sort of message does that send? i am worried about u breaking the law so i have broken the law myslelf and completely betrayed your trust in the process?

If you suspect illegal activity going on I think theres grounds there? I really didn't want to enter into the privacy/legality debate of the thread. I merely provide an answer to WW's question, whilst admitting there are certainly better ways of doing it. Some of which are alternative IT methods, and some of which are things Biggles' mentions - I've noticed she's much smarter than I.

 

[wylie]

I just explained the party story and discussed this question with my 18 year old (first year uni) and his grade 12 girlfriend. My son's first question was "why does he think he is dealing drugs?" followed by "just talk to him, ask him what is going on".

I have to say I thought the punishment for the party transgression was harsh, but having never faced a problem like this, I don't know how mad, upset and disappointed I would be. My son and his gf thought the punishment was pretty harsh. She said "sure, pay for the damage, but nothing until October???".

Son thought the same. But only you and your family know the real extent of the transgression, and only you know every facet of the story, along with other family background, issues that also may have influenced the punishment.

Both young 'uns said they would not be happy to find their private internet usage was being monitored, and my son said he would equate it to him putting hidden cameras through the house, and asked me how I would feel.

They both agreed that your son has done the wrong thing by you with the party, but you are doing the wrong thing by snooping on their private conversations, and thought it was rather hypocritical. They see the drug use as a separate issue that should be discussed.

They also both appreciate the possible drug use/dealing is totally different and more dangerous than the party issue.

I don't know the answer, but gee... I don't like the snooping idea. I would think that would jeopardise the relationship.

Have you asked him about it? What has made you think he is dealing?

 

[Strannik]

well lets say you got access to his account etc, and found out that he really is doing what you suspect he's doing. what are you going to do? tell him I know what you doing because I read your stuff? he'll probably move out and never talk to you again.

 

[Bigtone]

If you suspect illegal activity going on I think theres grounds there? I really didn't want to enter into the privacy/legality debate of the thread. I merely provide an answer to WW's question, whilst admitting there are certainly better ways of doing it. Some of which are alternative IT methods, and some of which are things Biggles' mentions - I've noticed she's much smarter than I.

stop flirting with biggles!

 

[Bigtone]

I just explained the party story and discussed this question with my 18 year old (first year uni) and his grade 12 girlfriend. My son's first question was "why does he think he is dealing drugs?" followed by "just talk to him, ask him what is going on".

I have to say I thought the punishment for the party transgression was harsh, but having never faced a problem like this, I don't know how mad, upset and disappointed I would be. My son and his gf thought the punishment was pretty harsh. She said "sure, pay for the damage, but nothing until October???".

Son thought the same. But only you and your family know the real extent of the transgression, and only you know every facet of the story, along with other family background, issues that also may have influenced the punishment.

Both young 'uns said they would not be happy to find their private internet usage was being monitored, and my son said he would equate it to him putting hidden cameras through the house, and asked me how I would feel.

They both agreed that your son has done the wrong thing by you with the party, but you are doing the wrong thing by snooping on their private conversations, and thought it was rather hypocritical. They see the drug use as a separate issue that should be discussed.

They also both appreciate the possible drug use/dealing is totally different and more dangerous than the party issue.

I don't know the answer, but gee... I don't like the snooping idea. I would think that would jeopardise the relationship.

Have you asked him about it? What has made you think he is dealing?

pretty good post i reckon

 

[D.T.]

stop flirting with biggles!

Complimenting someone is flirting now? What do you call helping WW out with his question then despite everyone disagreeing?

 

[Piston Broke]

Nobody knows what's wrong or right in this situation.
Legal, non legal? Legal guardian for a minor?
the common response seems "talk to him", but I'm not sure talking is going to achieve anything.
Not ever having been on either side of this situation all I can say is ask him straight out what's going on.
No talking, you want answers putting forward why you think what you do.
Obviously when there's only the 2 of you, and like someone said in the car is a good idea.
Whats, whens and whys, listen very carefully.
Then stick to him like a wet blanket for a few weeks, but not a big brother way, find excuses to be where he is. Drive him places, let him drive etc.
Hope it goes well.

 

[Peggle]

Back on the first page of this thread I asked WW if this was hypothetical or not as I suspect the introduction of illicit drugs to the discussion may have been in response to some earlier comments..............ie; more to make a point rather than being factual.

WW hasn't responded to this.

 

[WinstonWolfe]

Back on the first page of this thread I asked WW if this was hypothetical or not as I suspect the introduction of illicit drugs to the discussion may have been in response to some earlier comments..............ie; more to make a point rather than being factual.

WW hasn't responded to this.

I am not going to talk further about this subject.

To those who don't agree with my values, rather than pursue smug little forum victories, I suggest you find a like minded mate, and raise kids according to whatever your values are from moment to moment.

To the others that actually stuck to the topic, thanks, I've got the info I need.