When she earns more than him

[Mr. Fabulous]

Women in the family unit... as we know do most of the work, there have been a million surveys/stats to confirm this, those who ignore this will probably end up alone.....

Another Feminine Imperative myth busted.

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/the_dismal_science/2007/04/couch_entitlement.html

"Throughout the world, men spend more time on market work, while women spend more time on homework. In the United States and other rich countries, men average 5.2 hours of market work a day and 2.7 hours of homework each day, while women average 3.4 hours of market work and 4.5 hours of homework per day. Adding these up, men work an average of 7.9 hours per day, while women work an average of?drum roll, please?7.9 hours per day."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/19/AR2007031901639.html

"Perhaps even more striking, the total workloads of married mothers and fathers -- when paid work is added to child care and housework -- is roughly equal, at 65 hours a week for mothers and 64 hours for fathers."

From an unknown source:

"A University of Michigan study found women work an average of 11 hours more housework per week more than men while men work an average of 14 hours per week more than women outside the home."

 

[beachgurl]

Rumple is trolling right?

Having one child and both working full time is p$ss easy. I did it til my child was 2.5. She was fed and entertained 5 days per week. Not that hard to bathe, change and cuddle a child and put them to bed.

 

[mrsdawnrazor]

I have always earned more than my husband. He has never had an issue with it, but then he is secure in his own skin and does not need the external validation which appears to be required by those who are threatened by a higher earning wife/partner.

I honestly think the issue is the need for external validation. "Wife earns more - what will my mates say". "Husband earns less - what will the girls think"

Do you love them?, did you love them when they had nothing and you had nothing? Would you love them if they had nothing?
If the answer to any of these is no - I think the problem is more with you than them.

 

[MaggieMcT]

I know women who fit the ?ladies who lunch? clich?. They are married to extremely wealthy men and their kids are either school age, or they have a nanny. They all have housekeepers. They spend a great deal of time maintaining perfect (slightly too slim) figures and ensuring that they are immaculately groomed at all times. It seems to me that this is something those couples chose ? husband works and is ?the man? of the house (does zero housework, does the fun stuff with the kids at the weekends if it fits around his other plans), has a wife who looks great all the time and who manages his household but doesn?t do the grunt work. Wife gets to leave the financial worries to someone else, has plenty of money and help at home but lives in something of a fishbowl. Personally I could think of very few things I would like less than that sort of inequality in a marriage.

The other kind of stay at home mom is far more common, and it is bloody hard work. Trying to look after very young children and run a household alone is awfully difficult, and I think it?s getting harder in some ways because there is less support available from other women who are in the same boat.

I went back to work very soon after both kids for a number of reasons. It was very hard on my husband and I to manage our work outside the house and give the kids what they needed after daycare, particularly with the added challenge of sleep deprivation. Would it have been easier if I had stayed at home? Apart from the financial issues, I think my husband would agree that it would have been easier for him but much harder for me. I work what most people would consider to be a challenging and stressful job, but I can think of few things more difficult that looking after very small children at home alone all day after about three hours sleep. Anyone who thinks that this is easy has either never done it, or doesn?t do it right.

As to the who earns more thing...really?? Aren't we past that at this stage?

 

[WattleIdo]

Must say,
nice to read all the positive comments

*****s bring out the best in everyone else.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

I can think of few things more difficult that looking after very small children at home alone all day after about three hours sleep.

Here, let me help you with that.

When was the last time you risked your life on a daily basis as a housewife? Would you like me to provide you with hundreds more examples of jobs that are far harder than being a housewife? Not to mention that these men work these jobs for DECADES, not for 1 or 2 years. Do you think it's an accident that 95% of workplace deaths are men?

Or you can just read this blog post, which was written by a woman, who is a housewife, with pre-school children at home and is also doing her MBA.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/08/15/bo...-that-girls-dont-no-silly-its-because-sexism/

 

[Corey Batt]

Great post Mr Fabulous, cuts to the key issue here, job selection than wage for wage comparison.

 

[WattleIdo]

If either of you 2 smurfs could do what they're doing in the photos on a regular basis, I'd take my hat off to you.
But then, you'd probably take your hat off to me, too.

 

[whiteduck]

Ok so you put up some pictures of dangerous occupations. Wow. Are those jobs harder? More important? than raising a child? I guess it depends where you look at it from. Perhaps they require more grunt. Is that what you mean?

The below link explains the importance of attachment. It is what is going on every day with mums at home in their PJs with babies. And yes. Some women (and men) find this hard going and it doesn't always come naturally, then a lot can go wrong in this period... see below.
http://www.attachmentexperts.com/whatisattachment.html

 

[dex]

Yes good posts Mr Fabulous but I think you're feeding the trolls who think staying at home and raising kids is the hardest job in the world

 

[whiteduck]

"Mr Fabulous". Well the handle says it all.

 

[WattleIdo]

The thread is: when she earns more than him.

A few posters seem genuinely upset that so many people are talking about it so calmly.

Maybe you're in the wrong place?

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

"Mr Fabulous". Well the handle says it all.

You've already said that and need to garner some new material.


Yes some good depictions of risky occupations in those photos.
Certainly a great deal more risky than spending the day clinking virtual wine glasses on facebook and growing an acre of backside in the process.
Such is the lot of the Australian housewife, they do have it so hard compared to other more fortunate countries.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

The thread is: when she earns more than him.

A few posters seem genuinely upset that so many people are talking about it so calmly.

Maybe you're in the wrong place?

WattleIdo, this is an open forum for people to discuss ideas. I haven't made any personal attacks on anyone and I've been expressing myself in a respectful manner. Just because I don't agree with the majority of you, doesn't make my opinion any less valid. I suggest if you want a conversation with someone that will tell you only the things you want to hear, that you converse with the person staring back at you from the mirror.

 

[MaggieMcT]

Here, let me help you with that.

When was the last time you risked your life on a daily basis as a housewife? Would you like me to provide you with hundreds more examples of jobs that are far harder than being a housewife? Not to mention that these men work these jobs for DECADES, not for 1 or 2 years. Do you think it's an accident that 95% of workplace deaths are men?]

Um ...oookaaaay...I thought it would have been self evident that I am not suggesting that looking after your own kids in the safety and comfort of your own home is comparable to any job where someone risks their life or health on a daily basis.

But compared to the vast majority of white collar jobs looking after pre-school children on very little sleep is harder, in my view, and I've done both.

As for the salary gap, look we can all pick and choose from this study or that or point to particular pressure groups. However to my knowledge the mainstream consensus is that the wage gap is not entirely explained by the items you mentioned. I'm not saying it is all conscious or active sexism either, although that certainly exists. But for whatever reason many women are still paid less than men for the same job. If you're ok with that, fine, whatever. Luckily most people don't think like that.

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

Here, let me help you with that.

When was the last time you risked your life on a daily basis as a housewife? Would you like me to provide you with hundreds more examples of jobs that are far harder than being a housewife? Not to mention that these men work these jobs for DECADES, not for 1 or 2 years. Do you think it's an accident that 95% of workplace deaths are men?]

Um ...oookaaaay...I thought it would have been self evident that I am not suggesting that looking after your own kids in the safety and comfort of your own home is comparable to any job where someone risks their life or health on a daily basis.

But compared to the vast majority of white collar jobs looking after pre-school children on very little sleep is harder, in my view, and I've done both.

As for the salary gap, look we can all pick and choose from this study or that or point to particular pressure groups. However to my knowledge the mainstream consensus is that the wage gap is not entirely explained by the items you mentioned. I'm not saying it is all conscious or active sexism either, although that certainly exists. But for whatever reason many women are still paid less than men for the same job. If you're ok with that, fine, whatever. Luckily most people don't think like that.

Just for interest sake, I would like to know what the list of jobs is where the disparity in income by sex exists.

 

[WattleIdo]

WattleIdo, this is an open forum for people to discuss ideas. I haven't made any personal attacks on anyone and I've been expressing myself in a respectful manner. Just because I don't agree with the majority of you, doesn't make my opinion any less valid. I suggest if you want a conversation with someone that will tell you only the things you want to hear, that you converse with the person staring back at you from the mirror.

It seems to me that you are discriminating on the grounds of gender. This is just as unacceptable as discriminating on the grounds of race, ethnicity,religion, sexuality, marital status, disability.

I think you're upset with your ex.

Time out

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

It seems to me that you are discriminating on the grounds of gender. This is just as unacceptable as discriminating on the grounds of race, ethnicity,religion, sexuality, marital status, disability.

I think you're upset with your ex.

Time out

I think the fairer sex has proven to be not so fair after all, if this thread is anything to go by.

 

[cimbom]

Those "dangerous" jobs mentioned previously make up a miniscule of all jobs in Australia. I checked the 2011 Census data for Australia and there are about 200,000 people doing the top 10 jobs. So about ~2% of all jobs (probably less due to vagueness of some job categories used, i.e. "farm worker" etc).

In addition, of these people, over one quarter are recent migrants from places other than NZ, UK or northern Europe, meaning they over-represent their population in Australia.

From my experience, most of the men posting on these forums work in professional white-collar jobs so it doesn't really make sense for you to be lumping yourself in with the men who are doing the before-mentioned jobs, any more than it makes sense for a FIFO mining worker on six figures in WA to pretend his working conditions are in any way the same as the 200+ coal miners that died yesterday in Turkey.

"High" wages are generally not the result of the job being dangerous or hard but the three factors below:
1. Unionisation - jobs with bigger, more "militant" and more well-resourced unions get paid better. This is why coal miners trapped due to some disaster are left to die in China whereas millions are spent on safety in Australia. They are doing the same job.
2. Regulation - needing a license or some form of registration to do the job.
3. Protectionism - external forces such as controls or restrictions on immigration, especially for work visas for particular jobs/industries, as well as other misc red tape you need to go through to be qualified.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Hi cimbom, that's all very nice, but what does any of it have to do with what I posted?

For the record, I don't think raising pre-school age (newborn, infant, toddler) children is easy. It's also not 'the most difficult job in the world'. In fact, it's not even the same league.