When she earns more than him

[cimbom]

For the record, I don't think raising pre-school age (newborn, infant, toddler) children is easy. It's also not 'the most difficult job in the world'. In fact, it's not even the same league.

I have no idea what the most difficult job in the world would be but I doubt it'd be anything that's done in a developed country. I don't know how anyone could even make such a subjective assessment unless they've done every job in the world (or at least researched them all)?

I just find it a bit annoying when people try to explain away wage differences using rationale that doesn't make sense

 

[wylie]

For the record, I don't think raising pre-school age (newborn, infant, toddler) children is easy. It's also not 'the most difficult job in the world'. In fact, it's not even the same league.

I don't think anyone (certainly hope it wasn't me) has said that raising children is "the most difficult job in the world" .

These jobs in your post certainly don't equate with the jobs that most people posting here would be doing. Like mrsdawnrazer said, most people on here seem to be white collar, IT etc. So let's not muddy the waters by comparing anything that ANY of us do with that list of extreme jobs.

For the record, my husband worked for several years underground at Mt Isa, and he still reckons he would rather work in that hot, dirty and dangerous job than be at home with the kids.

I think what annoys some men is they think women are saying "look at me, I'm so special because I've raised kids". All we want is acknowledgement that the job we do for years, is worthy of being treated with respect, and not ridiculed as "easy" or some kind of freeloading on the poor man who has to work for money to allow his partner to be home with the kids.

I didn't get any lattes or "me time" on anything like a regular basis, that didn't involve going to another mother's house for a cuppa, whilst supervising more kids than normal (watching the kids of the woman making the coffee) until the youngest went to kindy (that is 12 years after our first was born).

Sure, I wasn't digging for coal underground, but neither are any of you "gentlemen" who are ridiculing those of us who say raising kids is not "easy".

Maybe if a few of you walked a mile in our shoes you would see things differently. I believe we women defending our "work" in the home are not bagging out your jobs or efforts, but why is it okay for some of you to bag out what clearly "some" of you know very little about?

And for those men who have supported their women in this thread, I say "thank you" from all women who have made the difficult choice to take the often harder path than going to work and putting the children into care. I think your wives and partners probably cherish you as much as I do my husband for allowing me that choice.

Some women don't have a choice because they have to go back to work, and some women choose to go back to work and I don't judge those that do that. It was our choice too and I count myself lucky I had that choice.

I also pretty much gave up my option of going back into the type of job I left, but that was also a choice I made and have no regrets about it now.

 

[Ideo]

Wannabe Alphas clambering over their keyboards on topics like this are always amusing.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Attempts at shaming by AFC-beta chump keyboard warriors is amusing, too.

 

[joanmc]

Wannabe Alphas clambering over their keyboards on topics like this are always amusing.

Yep, shouldn't they have their secretary typing for them? Typing is such a Beta thing to do.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

I just find it a bit annoying when people try to explain away wage differences using rationale that doesn't make sense

Man, no matter how many times the gender wage gap myth gets busted, the fembots just flat out refuse to let it go, innit.

 

[Tigger]

The article and the headline are a mismatch. The article is about stay at home Dads, the headline is about husbands earning less than wives. What about when both work? Remove childcare from the equation and then compare.
Hilarious that someone said women have always been respected for being SAH Mums and why couldn't that translate to SAH Dads.

 

[Ideo]

Attempts at shaming by AFC-beta chump keyboard warriors is amusing, too.

Odd how the so called betas are the ones who are generally pretty happy with how their lives are, and don't feel the need to prove anything.

Don't pontificate about how amazing your alpha existence is. Live it and enjoy it. The amount you go on about it people might think you are just trying to reassure yourself. Which is a pretty beta thing to do.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Don't pontificate about how amazing your alpha existence is.

1. I never claimed to be Alpha.
2. I was expressing a view on an issue that goes against the feminised social convention, not pontificating about my existence.
3. I also am very happy with the way my life is going. In fact, things couldn't be much better!
4. If you don't like what I have to say, you can do one of two things: choose not to read my posts or put me on Ignore. Up to you.

 

[Ideo]

Sure.

Being happy with you own life and making your own path is much more Alpha than posting about how bad wimmins are all the time.

 

[Mr. Fabulous]

Wimminz are bad all the time. The badder the better.

 

[VYBerlinaV8]

I'm a bit unsure why this thread has degenerated into personal attacks. Why can't we discuss this like any other topic?

My 2 cents on why men earn more than women, at least in white collar professions is that:
1) Men tend to negotiate harder and more aggresively, and it's easier to give them what they want (or part of it) to avoid ongoing conflict than to say no, whereas women don't push as hard and are less willing to cross social boundaries (for various reasons); and
2) Taking time off to have children, then returning to work while often tired and with children as a higher priority, means those people (male or female) who don't have children draw ahead career-wise for a time, that then becomes more apparent as people funnel up the corporate pyramid. Given than men can't have kids, more of them (on average) make it higher up the tree.

I've always taken the view that men and women are equal, but very different. And this is a good thing.

 

[MightyWill]

There was this similar same topic on a morning radio show on Today FM. This whinging wife/GF was complaining that her half is only earning 80k when she was earning 150k despite he having his own business. She was whinging about him not making more of himself.

Jackio had a good response saying she is two faced; females today want to be at the same level of males in regards to salary but when they do, they bag out that their male partner isn't earning enough. They can't have it both ways.

I would like to think that females in high paid positions are usually in management or senior roles. This means they are most likely to be the boss in the house, don't take crap in a relationship or go for a guy who is even more up the chain in career or wealth.

 

[TMNT]

I don't think anyone (certainly hope it wasn't me) has said that raising children is "the most difficult job in the world" .

These jobs in your post certainly don't equate with the jobs that most people posting here would be doing. Like mrsdawnrazer said, most people on here seem to be white collar, IT etc. So let's not muddy the waters by comparing anything that ANY of us do with that list of extreme jobs.

For the record, my husband worked for several years underground at Mt Isa, and he still reckons he would rather work in that hot, dirty and dangerous job than be at home with the kids.

I think what annoys some men is they think women are saying "look at me, I'm so special because I've raised kids". All we want is acknowledgement that the job we do for years, is worthy of being treated with respect, and not ridiculed as "easy" or some kind of freeloading on the poor man who has to work for money to allow his partner to be home with the kids.

I didn't get any lattes or "me time" on anything like a regular basis, that didn't involve going to another mother's house for a cuppa, whilst supervising more kids than normal (watching the kids of the woman making the coffee) until the youngest went to kindy (that is 12 years after our first was born).

Sure, I wasn't digging for coal underground, but neither are any of you "gentlemen" who are ridiculing those of us who say raising kids is not "easy".

Maybe if a few of you walked a mile in our shoes you would see things differently. I believe we women defending our "work" in the home are not bagging out your jobs or efforts, but why is it okay for some of you to bag out what clearly "some" of you know very little about?

And for those men who have supported their women in this thread, I say "thank you" from all women who have made the difficult choice to take the often harder path than going to work and putting the children into care. I think your wives and partners probably cherish you as much as I do my husband for allowing me that choice.

Some women don't have a choice because they have to go back to work, and some women choose to go back to work and I don't judge those that do that. It was our choice too and I count myself lucky I had that choice.

I also pretty much gave up my option of going back into the type of job I left, but that was also a choice I made and have no regrets about it now.

Raising children is.not an easy process as it's not a 9-5 job where you can leave work and forget about it

That being said doing the actual jobs is easy

Very easy

Any idiot can do it,
Drive kids to places, vacuum, mop, cook dinner, change a nappy, Pick them up from places

I admire people.who raise kids, including myself, but can't stand the people who.say look at me, look at me, I should be paid the same as my brain surgeon husband

If I got paid a full.time wage for doing the above chores, then I'd be a happy and less stressed man

 

[wylie]

I admire people.who raise kids, including myself, but can't stand the people who.say look at me, look at me, I should be paid the same as my brain surgeon husband

Who on earth ever said that???

 

[luce.rocks]

The thing I find hardest about being a full-time mum is not having a second to think. It's a different kind of 'hard'. Until you've done it, I don't think you can really understand it. I used to work back office at an investment bank, and while I wasn't an important worker, the workload could sometimes get pretty intense, but I was able to focus, and I thrived on the hectic pace. This stay-at-home-mum thing is way more stressful because I never get a second to focus. On anything. It drives me mental.

That, and the sleep derivation. They don't use it as a form of torture for no reason.

Anyhow. I love Friday's because that's Daycare Day, aka, my day off. Yay for Fridays!

 

[weg]

The thing I find hardest about being a full-time mum is not having a second to think. It's a different kind of 'hard'. Until you've done it, I don't think you can really understand it. I used to work back office at an investment bank, and while I wasn't an important worker, the workload could sometimes get pretty intense, but I was able to focus, and I thrived on the hectic pace. This stay-at-home-mum thing is way more stressful because I never get a second to focus. On anything. It drives me mental.

That, and the sleep derivation. They don't use it as a form of torture for no reason.

Anyhow. I love Friday's because that's Daycare Day, aka, my day off. Yay for Fridays!

I still remember the look on my husbands face when I got home after working 13 hour days - he had them every second weekend and from 4 to 8pm a couple of weekdays as well. Just priceless .

He said many times he could never stay home looking after small children full time.

I should add he did a great job and I truly believe the children are better off for it.

Older school children are a different story. Neither of us thought they were particularly hard or stressful to look after.

 

[TMNT]

Who on earth ever said that???

just about every housewife at home in my experience,
(obviously replace "brain surgeon" with their husbands profession)

They all feel underappreciated but when asked to swap places, they never will/would be willing to, when push comes to shove

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

Who on earth ever said that???

Bit late for playing dumb when you've essentially been complaining about your lot for the majority of the thread?

 

[wylie]

Who on earth ever said that???

just about every housewife at home in my experience,
(obviously replace "brain surgeon" with their husbands profession)

They all feel underappreciated but when asked to swap places, they never will/would be willing to, when push comes to shove

I don't believe you about anyone you might know saying that. Feeling under appreciated doesn't mean the woman wants to don a suit and head out to work (though some probably do). If I had to ask for appreciation from my husband I wouldn't still be here. He appreciates how hard my job is, and I appreciate how hard his job is. They just are different jobs with different KPIs. Perhaps that is why we are still together.

Bit late for playing dumb when you've essentially been complaining about your lot for the majority of the thread?

You seem to have a problem with comprehension? I've not complained about it. I've tried to explain how hard it is being at home with little children on little sleep with (for years on end) no time to do the basic stuff like go to the toilet in private. Perhaps it sounds like I'm complaining to you but people I believe understand that spelling it out is necessary for those who have no idea what a mother does "all day" at home, and some men appear to think SAH mums are all off sipping lattes all day. You simply have no idea.

Go put your head back in the sand.