Hey wylie, if a woman is hitting on me (well, being flirty in a kinda obvious way, which is womens version of hitting on someone) and I don't respond to it and she says to me 'What's the matter? Are you gay?' is that harassment?
No. I say that is simply poor form on her part, and you are lucky you haven't taken it further. I'd say she is embarrassed that she is hitting on someone who clearly isn't interested and is trying to save face. I'm sure we have all tried to chat up someone who just isn't interested. How we react to rejection, and how the man/woman handles rejecting us (nicely or not so nicely) says a lot about us and how we were brought up, and the person doing the rejecting, wouldn't you say?
What if I'm sitting next to a woman and she starts talking to me, then after a few minutes says to me 'You know you're being hit on, right?'
How on earth is that harassment? You are having a conversation. She is flirting. You either flirt back or reject her advances, but do it nicely.
What about if I'm talking to a woman and she plants an unsolicited kiss on me?
Depends on the situation, depends on what you are talking about, depends on so much. If you are already talking to her then I'm guessing you are interested.
What about if I'm standing around talking to a friend and a chick I barely even know walks past and kisses me on the cheek?
What about if a woman grabs my butt?
What about if a woman is trying to set me up with her friend and I don't reciprocate and she starts insulting me?
What if a woman tells me that she's in love with me, then gives me an unsolicited hug and won't let go, even after I ask her to?
What if I get wolf whistled at or have comments directed at me from girls driving past?
Because all of these things have happened to me before. Is any of that harassment?
P.S. My answer: No.
For me, without any veil of political correctness gone mad, I would say anybody in their 40s or 50s (you are nearly there) who has ever worked in an office, ever gone to the pub, ever gone to a nightclub has experienced all this and more.
I think the pendulum has swung too far, but most of us are adult enough (hope so anyway) to know when some sleaze is hitting on us, compared to when we like the look of that chap over there and if he starts a conversation, I'm interested enough to chat him up.
Heck. I met my husband when he leaned past me to put his beer down to to go the loo. I grabbed his tie and said "that's nice...". Was that harassment? Thankfully he didn't think so. Nowdays, I'm sure we could well read about it in the newspaper and I'd be up on some sort of harassment charges.
All of those situations are "normal" for most of us who grew up with the pub scene as our way to meet people. I've swapped bawdy banter with workmates and surf club mates but let's also face it. Most of us know when a line is about to be crossed and most of us step back from that. Alcohol can blur that line but those question above are normal work/party/pub positions most of us have dealt with.
Walking down the street with no previous interaction, no "talking with a girl and she kisses me on the cheek" etc, is very, very different. That girl on the video did not start chatting, did not even look at those men and they (as I said before) were not interested in meeting her grandma and settling down with a white picket fence. She was very much projecting the message "not interested". They simply were not paying attention to her body language at all. They had their own thoughts about how this could play out if they got lucky.
I'm quite sure more than one would like to have gone on a date with her and treat her like a lady if she was at all interested. But it is the ones that got all snarky when she ignored them that are the reason this could easily have gone bad so quickly.