Network Monitoring

[Luv2Travel]

I'm proud of the many times, i've sorted out disobedient children, from toddlers to teenagers, just by interacting with them.

Well I'm sure my parents would have wished they knew you when my brother was growing up so you could have sorted him out in such a calm and reasonable manner.

I'm so glad I'm not having children... I think it must be the hardest job in the world, and you don't even get paid for it!

 

[skater]

I didn't realise that your parenting style was that much different to mine Skater .

It appears that there are a few things that we have a difference of opinion on.

I agree with honestly teaching as much as possible, about as many things as possible, in an unbiased and preferably fun and interesting way. Not keeping things secret or taboo to avoid uncomfortable topics..

Yep, agree. I have always been open to talking about the uncomfortable topics.
.

not things like reading thier personal diary entries or emails or listening to thier private conversations, or whipping them, or other disrespectful behaviour..

Um, just a minute, I didn't say or do that......

I agree with giving kids responsibilities as they age, and respecting what they want, not trying to completely control them... unlike some people...
.

I have been proactive in giving the kids responsibilities as they get older, however sometimes a certain amount of control is needed in the teen years.
.

I've met a fair few kids that are either living off the government, or a life of drugs, a bit of crime, and alot of financial screw ups.

Most had either disrespectful parents, that either totally ignored them, or tried to control them, or parents that just spoiled them rotten. Sometimes there was only one parent, who had to work long hours, and/or alot of negative peer influences, so being a parent was not an easy task.

I've met lots of people that have much to be proud of in many if not all aspects of thier life. Some of them didn't have alot of support from thier parents, but most of them had parents that brought them up without disrepecting them.

So there are very succesfull people out there that had a very tough upbringing, but I don't think that means the correct way to bring up a child, is to make life hell, and see if they sink or swim.

Spoiling a child is just as pathetic as torturing them, just not as barbaric. Neither are correct imo.

Hmm.....I don't think I either spoilt or tortured either of my kids. You better go ask Lil.

 

[weg]

Sit outside the school each afternoon for 14 years prior too picking them up each day-- day in day out and over the years as you see the young kids grow up and you sit there with other parents you get to hear all interesting items that only the inner circle of the schools know about,
plus Simon it also helps to sit beside some high ranking Qld Police each afternoon for the whole 14 years after all the Police that are in the Drug Squad don't think like everyone else they see it every day,but you would already know that ..willair..

I would have pulled my child out of a school that was rife in drug use in the first year.

Why didn't you?

All it takes at my childrens school is one person to dob on another when they suspect someone has drugs on them and the police are brought in and do a search. You never see that child again.

The same applies for assaulting someone and theft. There are no second chances.

I think kids seeing this serves as a great deterent and one of the reasons I love the school.

A few children get expelled between years 8 and 9, the odd one in year 10 but very rarely between years 11 and 12. The naughty ones are gone and the remainder have the peer influence of those children that are generally pretty good.

Making sweeping statements about PS discredits you as most people know there are good, bad and in between schools in both the private and public system.

 

[skater]

I believe in a good smack on the bum or hand if all else fails. There's a huge difference between discipline and barbaric child abuse!

Yes, you cannot reason with a cranky two year old. A tap on the back of the hand is sometimes needed.

 

[willair]

I would have pulled my child out of a school that was rife in drug use in the first year.

Why didn't you?

All it takes at my childrens school is one person to dob on another when they suspect someone has drugs on them and the police are brought in and do a search. You never see that child again.
Making sweeping statements about PS discredits you as most people know there are good, bad and in between schools in both the private and public system.

You just don't get it ,how do you control something that is uncontrolable and try pulling that on someone who;s Mother-Father or Brothers are aQC or Barrister money talks and if their names are on the"OldBoysGirls" lists then good luck..willair..

 

[weg]

You just don't get it ,how do you control something that is uncontrolable and try pulling that on someone who;s Mother-Father or Brothers are aQC or Barrister money talks and if their names are on the"OldBoysGirls" lists then good luck..willair..

You're still making sweeping statements .

Do you know of all cases personally? I've known of one in this same situation but the school could not produce the 'proof' that the father demanded (I know the details of the interviews). The school was determined to expel the child.

It was not about money or 'Old Boys' privileges at all.

Believe it or not but some schools (not your daughters ) simply want to maintain a good reputation for excellence.

Can I ask why you didn't change schools?

 

[BayView]

Let me ask the free n easy types what they'd do if they had reason to suspect their kid was dealing in illicit drugs under their roof?

WW, I'm with ya on all this stuff.

Our oldest boy is only 8, but we are at him ALL the time about cyber bullies, mrockspiders and peadophiles etc.

We monitor his computer activity all the time when he is on it, and the computer is on the kitchen table in plain sight.

I'm hopeful by the time he gts to your son's age he will have the sense to know the dangers and make the right decisions.

At 17 years of age, I'll be keeping a close but more distant eye on him; I don't him to be thinking I'm the uncool parent who is stifling his life.

If my son was dealing drugs under my roof, or if I suspected him of it, he would bet a kick in the @rse first, and then the computer and phone will be taken away.

And then grounded for a week or two.

If he doesn't like those apples; we can go for a quick spin down to the copshop.

 

[willair]

You're still making sweeping statements .

Do you know of all cases personally? I've known of one in this same situation but the school could not produce the 'proof' that the father demanded (I know the details of the interviews). The school was determined to expel the child.

It was not about money or 'Old Boys' privileges at all.

Believe it or not but some schools (not your daughters ) simply want to maintain a good reputation for excellence.

Can I ask why you didn't change schools?

The Girls went to 3 different schools ,you must be with the insiders to have access too private info like that Weg,about individual personal matters,Teacher??just remember to "Breathe" Weg before you give too much away..willair..
willair..

 

[vincenzo]

Oh yeah Biggles, I'd sort him out in five minutes. /sarcasmalert
Seriously though, I think raising kids, including helping teenagers or even adults turn bad situations around, can be the most rewarding thing there is.

Um, just a minute, I didn't say or do that......

.....I don't think I either spoilt or tortured either of my kids. You better go ask Lil.

Yeah I know.

I listed a few general points which I agree and disagree with, and I didn't think you're very different in your opinions of them.

I wasn't trying to suggest that you spoil, or torture, or snoop on your teenagers.

It is very possible to reason with a 2yo btw... not always easy but sometimes it is.

 

[Piston Broke]

when they suspect someone has drugs on them and the police are brought in and do a search. You never see that child again.

The same applies for assaulting someone and theft. There are no second chances.

I think kids seeing this serves as a great deterent and one of the reasons I love the school.

A few children get expelled between years 8 and 9, the odd one in year 10 but very rarely between years 11 and 12. The naughty ones are gone and the remainder have the peer influence of those children that are generally pretty good.

Gee that's gotta be the only school in Australia.
What willair says is 100% correct imo, private and religious schools are just like the pubs: you never hear about what goes on.
Yet most pubs & clubs have troubles, fights drug busts, but it never seems to make it to the media.
Private & religious schools have = or more problems than public schools (and more money to buy things) yet it's never heard about (could it be the advertising revenue?).
When things happen at these schools, the parents get a private hearing before anything is done.
And parents that donate generously get a fairer hearing than others.
Kids that represent the school for sport also get a fairer hearing, and also pass even if they're dumb as ****.

Welcome to the world weg.
Do I know cases? Way too many...

 

[topcropper]

Private & religious schools have = or more problems than public schools ...

I've got no idea about drugs, but from what I've seen, private school kids [mainly talking boarders here] seem to come out at the end as bigger drinkers and smokers than public.


See ya's.

 

[weg]

I really think most people here are on the same page and it's just the way they approach the problem that's a bit different.

I think unless you know how healthy and successful the parent child relationship is in the first place you probably can't comment too much on how wrong or right a parent is in dealing with issues.

If WW relationship with his son has always been strong and close and he can maintain this then his method would probably work well, if not then it might not be the right way to go about it.

WW shouldn't assume either that a different appraoch is lax perenting when these same parents can have successful outcomes based on their parenting style.

Each to their own. I think each generation will always think the next is worse than the one before. It's probably so because it's a different world each time.

 

[Lil Skater]

Lil Skater, I still don't think you realize that a 17yo is not an independent. Try and rent a property at that age.....try and buy and maintain a car, and pay bills. Try and live without govt handouts or Mum's money. In my day, the govt didn't give minors money to spend as they chose, nor did most parents.....and it is a mistake that they do this in my view.

You would do well to talk to older people and find out how people have lived before your generation.

Self discipline and self mastery might sound square and suffocating concepts to you......but I promise you that without it, you will not achieve 1/10 of what you can with it. You will just compete with 85% of the population who don't value these concepts highly.

If you really want to excel at something, you have to learn to apply yourself, be disciplined, master impulse.

No, I do realise at 17 you're not seen as an independent. However at 17, I bought my own car, paid insurance, petrol, repairs etc myself. Most of my peers had their cars bought for them and didn't even pay for their own petrol. I also paid my own phone bill, worked two jobs AND continued to do plenty of sporting activities.

As I am, I have not, will not and have absolutely NO intention to rely on government handouts nor my "Mum's" money. I haven't turned to the Government for rent assistance as I am on a low wage, I have not called up my parents and asked them to give me money.

I have been living interstate for the past 6 months, paying my own way completely as an independent. When I moved here it was less than 6 months after I turned 18... Which doesn't make me much older than your Son.

You mustn't know much about me, just because I wasn't born in "your" generation does not make me naive to the fact that I have lived a very privileged life. However I do agree that the Government is too willy nilly with hand outs and parents are too quick to give their kids whatever they desire presented on a silver platter.

Self discipline is a very large part of me - how do you think I have competed at an International level in my chosen sport?

Also, for the record, I pulled MYSELF out of a school at the end of year 8 to start fresh at a new school, I was 14 but still knew this was what was best for me both educationally and emotionally.

Need I mention, yet again. I am 18, a very similar age to your Son, I live in another state to my parents and hours away from any other family - You have no idea how hard this is for me, but I do it every day. I get up early every day and take myself to work - because I know I won't have a roof over my head, I know I won't eat, I know I won't be able to do what I love, which is skate.

I don't have any friends, besides the ones I have met through my sport or my boyfriend. I don't have a huge support network of people around me to help out when times get tough or help me to run away from the reality which is life, but I've put myself in this position because I wanted to prove myself to everyone that said I couldn't and because I know I can do and be anyone that I want to be and you know what, I'm going to be great - I'm making my parents proud, myself proud and I know I have so many people cheering me on.

So you and others, can try to bring me down. Try to compare me to others my age, but I'm nothing like your Son, his friends or my old friends. I don't need my parent's, boyfriend's or Government's money - I'm making my own and holding myself up on my own two feet and will continue to do so.

Oh, and for the record. I'm going to be more than a wife and a mother and I love the fact that these are your only goals for a woman, to be a wife and a mother. I'm not a feminist, but I know I can do more in my life than raise children or cook for four.

 

[weg]

Gee that's gotta be the only school in Australia.
What willair says is 100% correct imo, private and religious schools are just like the pubs: you never hear about what goes on.
Yet most pubs have troubles, fights drug busts, but it never seems to make it to the media.
Private & religious schools have = or more problems than public schools (and more money to buy things) yet it's never heard about (could it be the advertising revenue?).
When things happen at these schools, the parents get a private hearing before anything is done.
And parents that donate generously get a fairer hearing than others.
Kids that represent the school for sport also get a fairer hearing, and also pass even if they're dumb as ****.

Welcome to the world weg.
Do I know cases? Way too many...

The media loves reporting what happens in private schools. The last report on our school was because students threw an egg at a pedestrian (reported as roaming the suburbs throwing eggs at pedestrians) The nature of the media is to get a good story.

What I said was narcotics and hard drugs are not a big problem in private schools in response to willair.

Pretty well everyone drinks, many smoke, some smoke dope and no doubt some use drugs like ecstasy on weekends at parties.

Schools like my childrens do come down hard on these cases though. A good percentage that are expelled are for the things that they do out of school hours.

Overall it is a much cleaner and safer school than many and families that move their children there from other schools report a big difference in tolerance for things like drugs, aggression, bullying and theft.

 

[weg]

The Girls went to 3 different schools ,you must be with the insiders to have access too private info like that Weg,about individual personal matters,Teacher??just remember to "Breathe" Weg before you give too much away..willair..
willair..

This family have been close personal friends for many years, so no breaches there and no insider info .

 

[willair]

What I said was narcotics and hard drugs are not a big problem in private schools in response to willair.

Pretty well everyone drinks, many smoke, some smoke dope and no doubt some use drugs like ecstasy on weekends at parties.

Well-Well -Well,so what's the difference between getting faceless on the skunk-nitro,having a few "E's",or drinking the top shelf,are you trying to tell me you are playing a different game you have just stated you know about drug use but it's not happening at the school you use
anyone with simple logic can see what happening why can't you,willair..

 

[Strannik]

Need I mention, yet again. I am 18, a very similar age to your Son, I live in another state to my parents and hours away from any other family - You have no idea how hard this is for me, but I do it every day.

when i was 17 i moved to a different country on my own, with language skills close to 0, family being 8hr flight away and any friends i had left in another part of the world. you kids have it easy these days.

although i must admit i didn't have to support myself for the first couple of years.

 

[weg]

Well-Well -Well,so what's the difference between getting faceless on the skunk-nitro,having a few "E's",or drinking the top shelf,are you trying to tell me you are playing a different game you have just stated you know about drug use but it's not happening at the school you use
anyone with simple logic can see what happening why can't you,willair..

willair read back at what you've been writing because that's what I've been reponding to.

I did not at any stage say nobody does these things. I only said narcotics and hard drugs are not big issues at PS like you seem to think based on your one daughters school, that you still let her attend.

I've said in this thread that my son drinks regularly (it's actually socially) and does so at home too on a Fri or Sat when they get together. He almost always sleeps home so I know what state he's in. I can count and see as well... no. of kids, bottles, butts, anything else. I hear things because they're loud. I've heard a lot too and I'm not worried.

I also mentioned that we parents frequently talk and have a good grasp of what goes on. What surprises me is how much some of the kids tell their parents. Stories do match, discrepancies worked on till solved.

We pretty well know who does what. Out of a very large social group one smokes dope regularly although mostly alone, another couple of boys will smoke it sometimes. Some have tried it but the vast majority don't do anything but drink.

I'm assuming out of 1000 students some have taken or take ecstasy. No parent that I know has reported suspecting, hearing or finding anything on any of this group or others for that matter to believe they try this or harder drugs.

Why are you upset by the fact that I'm reporting that not everyone at PS's is off their face on drugs? Err... no... they definately don't smoke drugs at lunch time my sons school .

*Dad all my mates are starting to smoke the skunk nitro before school and during the lunch breaks*

You still haven't answered why you kept your daughter there? That's crazy.

 

[Simon]

Sit outside the school each afternoon for 14 years prior too picking them up each day-- day in day out and over the years as you see the young kids grow up and you sit there with other parents you get to hear all interesting items that only the inner circle of the schools know about,
plus Simon it also helps to sit beside some high ranking Qld Police each afternoon for the whole 14 years after all the Police that are in the Drug Squad don't think like everyone else they see it every day,but you would already know that ..willair..

You know being the stay at home Dad, I did that for years and years. Both private and public schools.

Either I was oblivious to the gossip or lucked onto some good schools.

Maybe I have just been lucky with my girls.

 

[WinstonWolfe]

No, I do realise at 17 you're not seen as an independent. However at 17, I bought my own car, paid insurance, petrol, repairs etc myself. Most of my peers had their cars bought for them and didn't even pay for their own petrol. I also paid my own phone bill, worked two jobs AND continued to do plenty of sporting activities.

I am sorry you seem to be finding it hard to be away from your parents LS.
Maybe you can understand that your parents like me, are motivated to equip our children to enjoy the challenges and opportunities of life, rather than endure them in pain, loneliness, costly errors, and fatigue. Believe it or not, our life experience is relevant, even if uncool.