Tall poppy syndrome on somersoft or am I just paranoid?
- Thread starter GoAnna!
- Start date
It's so nice to know that part of the tall poppy thing is that there are people around who would just love us to trip up and fall on our faces - even some here on somersoft (and I don't mean the trolls).
But we can only fall back to where we started and that's where the nay sayers or anti poppies are right now.....so what is the risk really? The greatest risk is doing nothing cause that sure won't being about success of any description.
But we can only fall back to where we started and that's where the nay sayers or anti poppies are right now.....so what is the risk really? The greatest risk is doing nothing cause that sure won't being about success of any description.
Hi GoAnna,
We would dust ourselves off, get back up and move forward again. Success is getting up just one time more than you fall down....always fail forward!
By staying where they are, the nay-sayers and anti-poppies are by default moving backwards.....as life passes them by. The greatest risk in life is "standing still"
Hi all
I am still trying to find some friends who's eyes do not glaze over when I talk to them......so poor old hubby cops my 7 million words aday.
My family is not to bad, I have a brother with IP's in Melbourne doing well.
My Hubby's family is another matter, even the one who has done the odd JV development. I think they have some one else do all the work and they just hand over the $ no involvement or interest in the process....
Anyway, they can all poo poo now. Wait until we retire and are jetsetting all over the world.............
whilst they are at the pensioners dinner special at the local.
As for my kids, the 14yr old wants it all when she leaves school as they do...
She must be taking note of our conversations, because last month she asked if she could start reading my book on Investments.. excellant!!
The 7 yr old wants to make old houses new again like her mum!!!
I like to put some of my figures out there, as the new comers need to know it is not always rosey and that some time you make $ but not as much as those stories you here in the news and sometimes you do better than you think!!! and I do like the odd pat on the back from fellow Investors.
I am still trying to find some friends who's eyes do not glaze over when I talk to them......so poor old hubby cops my 7 million words aday.
My family is not to bad, I have a brother with IP's in Melbourne doing well.
My Hubby's family is another matter, even the one who has done the odd JV development. I think they have some one else do all the work and they just hand over the $ no involvement or interest in the process....
Anyway, they can all poo poo now. Wait until we retire and are jetsetting all over the world.............
whilst they are at the pensioners dinner special at the local.As for my kids, the 14yr old wants it all when she leaves school as they do...
She must be taking note of our conversations, because last month she asked if she could start reading my book on Investments.. excellant!!
The 7 yr old wants to make old houses new again like her mum!!!
I like to put some of my figures out there, as the new comers need to know it is not always rosey and that some time you make $ but not as much as those stories you here in the news and sometimes you do better than you think!!! and I do like the odd pat on the back from fellow Investors.
Looking back, I have always been a little like a fish out of water, when relating to others, because my mind just doesn't work the same way.
Back when the kids were young I attended a playgroup with them, but the majority of the Mums were on benefits of some kind or another & living in DOH Housing. From memory, I think I was the only one with a mortgage & struggling big time (17.5% interest rates). These mums would get together & knew which charities to approach at which times to get the best from each and were able to supplement their incomes substantially by doing this. I was somewhat of an oddity and I think they all thought I was well off, when if you actually looked at the incomes comming in verses the expenses, we were actually much worse off.
I managed to make a few friends there, but was never on the same wave length. Things worsened when we bought our first IP. You seen learn that you really do need to keep your mouth shut, because it is waaaay too much information for someone who is not travelling the same path. Over the years I have lost contact with all of those Mums.
Family are just as bad, if not worse, because they will always be your family and once the information is out there, there is no taking it back.
We had this happen with one Rellie:
1st IP) Congratulations! Great to see things are looking up. You're doing really well for yourself.
2nd IP) Gee, so soon. Things are looking good.
3rd IP) Oh dear! Are your really ready for this? Can you afford it?
4th IP) Just how many houses do you want? You know you can only live in one? Aren't you being a little selfish?
Since then we haven't mentioned anything about any investments unless directly asked. However, there are still constant little reminders that we are greedy capitalists, who are going to come to a nasty downfall sooner or later. Especially now, that interest rates are climbing. They don't come out and say that they want you to fail, but you see it written in their eyes.
Young childrens interpretation of Wealth
When I was in the car one day driving my two son's to their grandmothers they were about age 10 and 7 the subject of our investment properties came up. The older one ask me what would happen to all the investment properties and our home when mum and I died. I replied that if they were good they might get them otherwise we would donate them to charity.
At that point my youngest said yaaaaa but who gets your credit cards????
I had to pull over I was laughing so hard. It is part of family lore now when we talk about investing to our 18 and 15 year olds.
As for discussing our investments outside our direct family I always point out that we live in the best country in the world and that anyone can live their dream if they are prepared to sacrifice, that usually disarms them from responding negatively.
If they are negative I'm not adverse to tearing a strip off them
When I was in the car one day driving my two son's to their grandmothers they were about age 10 and 7 the subject of our investment properties came up. The older one ask me what would happen to all the investment properties and our home when mum and I died. I replied that if they were good they might get them otherwise we would donate them to charity.
At that point my youngest said yaaaaa but who gets your credit cards????
I had to pull over I was laughing so hard. It is part of family lore now when we talk about investing to our 18 and 15 year olds.
As for discussing our investments outside our direct family I always point out that we live in the best country in the world and that anyone can live their dream if they are prepared to sacrifice, that usually disarms them from responding negatively.
If they are negative I'm not adverse to tearing a strip off them
My four year old daughter loves to sit on my lap and look at houses on realestate.com. She picks out ones she likes and says, "Oh Mummy, I'd like to have that one..." My parents have IP's too. She gets a bit confused about whose house is whose. One always seems to be in the process of repair. She now remembers the names of the streets they are all in. I love how she refers to them as "We nudder house". She has already decided which one she is going to live in when she grows up and leaves home..
.I know! Charming isn't it?? But at the same time you are meant to get all excited by their successes like the work promotion, new house etc.
I have been called a parasite (because I "live off" my husband and do nothing all day long hehehe)
I have overheard some-one say that I "think money falls from the sky".
And of course 'it's all right for you". That phrase can cover most circumstances. And if not then there is always. "You're so lucky!"
And these are my close family members including one who was on $200K years ago, a salary I only ever earned a fraction of.
There have been a few awkward experiences now that I think about it.
One was at my sister's place, somehow the subject of 'mortgage stress' came up and it was revealed that my sister and her husband were spending over 50% of their income on their mortgage. Anyway further into the conversation, when it was established that 30% or above meant 'stress', I was asked how I was going with my mortgage(s) and if I was feeling any mortgage stress.
I think at the time I was spending less than 5% of my income on the mortgage, so I just said "Yeah, I'm going okay".
6 months and a couple of rate rises later, her house was being foreclosed on. This coincided with me moving into a new PPoR worth a fair bit more than her place. Her and her husband asked me how much I spent on the house, and being put on the spot, I told them the exact figure. Yeah, that was awkward.
So most of my family have been kept in the dark over my development site. The only family member I've told about it is my dad, because I can talk with him without him getting envious. It would be nice not to have to hide things from the rest of my family, but I do so in order to stay relatable.
Although I secretly hope they'll find out somehow by accident so I can stop tip-toeing around the subject.
-Ian
One was at my sister's place, somehow the subject of 'mortgage stress' came up and it was revealed that my sister and her husband were spending over 50% of their income on their mortgage. Anyway further into the conversation, when it was established that 30% or above meant 'stress', I was asked how I was going with my mortgage(s) and if I was feeling any mortgage stress.
I think at the time I was spending less than 5% of my income on the mortgage, so I just said "Yeah, I'm going okay".
6 months and a couple of rate rises later, her house was being foreclosed on. This coincided with me moving into a new PPoR worth a fair bit more than her place. Her and her husband asked me how much I spent on the house, and being put on the spot, I told them the exact figure. Yeah, that was awkward.
So most of my family have been kept in the dark over my development site. The only family member I've told about it is my dad, because I can talk with him without him getting envious. It would be nice not to have to hide things from the rest of my family, but I do so in order to stay relatable.
Although I secretly hope they'll find out somehow by accident so I can stop tip-toeing around the subject.
-Ian
Yep, I'd be stopping paying that HELP debt yesterday. Oh dear, I have twin 7yo boys - is this what I have ahead of me? My MIL implies this fairly frequently. The frustrating thing is that she knows that I make more through my efforts than hubby does through his - even though he has a good income. (So does hubby; he's just waiting for me to tell him he can stop going to work, too.
)Oh Tracey, don't even get met started on MIL stories. In his mother's eyes, my hubby is an absolute saint, and can do no wrong.
A few years ago, we rearranged our finances and he "borrowed" some money to repay ME for expenses I had incurred on my own credit card for his IPs. This was all okayed by our accountant.
Anyway, he had a bit of "pixie" in him one day and told his mother that he had to take out a loan to repay me. She didn't understand and took great offence that I made him take out a loan to pay me back, when I was not working and living on HIS money. She didn't actually say all that, but the pursed lips told it all.
We still laugh about it, and hubby threatens occasionally to start another conversation about it.
There are lots of "pursed lips" situations where my MIL is concerned. I think she realises I am the "driver" of our IPs but, if pressed, would suggest I am a grabbing type and somehow "dirty" because of it.
A few years ago, we rearranged our finances and he "borrowed" some money to repay ME for expenses I had incurred on my own credit card for his IPs. This was all okayed by our accountant.
Anyway, he had a bit of "pixie" in him one day and told his mother that he had to take out a loan to repay me. She didn't understand and took great offence that I made him take out a loan to pay me back, when I was not working and living on HIS money. She didn't actually say all that, but the pursed lips told it all.
We still laugh about it, and hubby threatens occasionally to start another conversation about it.
There are lots of "pursed lips" situations where my MIL is concerned. I think she realises I am the "driver" of our IPs but, if pressed, would suggest I am a grabbing type and somehow "dirty" because of it.
HI there ladies
maybe there should be a MIL thread because I think we would all have stories.
I know my MIL thinks my promoting trusts to hold property is just a method of depriving my husband of his property. I know she was encouraging him to get independent advice to protect himself.
When trying to explain to my MIL the purpose of trusts - did ask her why did she think most small business owners use trusts and why people like the Murdochs and the Packers do? Her answer was along the lines - they are all greedy and want to defraud the tax office...
Need I say more...
thanks
maybe there should be a MIL thread because I think we would all have stories.
I know my MIL thinks my promoting trusts to hold property is just a method of depriving my husband of his property. I know she was encouraging him to get independent advice to protect himself.
When trying to explain to my MIL the purpose of trusts - did ask her why did she think most small business owners use trusts and why people like the Murdochs and the Packers do? Her answer was along the lines - they are all greedy and want to defraud the tax office...
Need I say more...
thanks
Actually, my MIL was very keyed into Investments and property so we had no problems there. It is my brother and SIL with whom I have to tiptoe around! They don't have a mortgage though - they thought it was a good idea to pay off the mortgage with my brother's superannuation savings (WT!) when he changed jobs, maybe 15 years ago! You could access your super in those days; I think he was around 40 at the time. Their property has only increased in value by a very small amount over the years, I think our beach shack was worth more at one stage. Kind of says it all in a nutshell that, doesn't it!
Yeah; ya gotta watch those greedy rich pr!cks!
Some of my rellies have this mentality unfortunately; and guess what? They're broke and always will be.
Hi Oz,
Sorry for delay in reply, been off doing the East -West Pilbara to Perth and back tour.......
Don't mind the probing at all.....if anything it's good to have to think about things a bit and clear the cobwebs out of one's head....
The youngest daughter (17) is most concerned that we are personally responsible for the rise in housing unaffordability and the consequential social ramifications. In discussions with her it seems to be mainly coming from her school teachers.........which sort of sh@ts me to tears, but given the nature of the school I can fully appreciate the angle.
Without giving away the name of the school.......just think of the film FAME and imagine the whole arts thing, you know.....those that are destined to forever live in the garrets writing poetry about social injustice etc etc etc.............
However I think she'll come around as she's just discovered how much money her sister earns ( I'll get to that in a minute).
Our eldest daughter (19) has always been supportive of us investing in property, although initially she did find it pretty strange. Now that she has started her own full time FIFO job with Minara and received her first pay, she's come right on board..........
The one and only boy (24) seems to be the main area of concern, Doesn't think anything of continually hitting us up for funds (I absolutely spat it a couple of weeks ago when I found Mrs Nor had lent him $4K), yet at the same time we are filthy rich capitalist b@st@rds need to be continually cut down at the knees. Some of his remarks can be quite cutting, and it upsets his mother no end - which is probably why she gets the guilts and lends him the money.
Truthfully I can't understand where it comes from, other than perhaps from growing up as a teenager in a mining town??? I ended up missing catching up with him in Perth.....but next time I see him I'll be making it quite clear that the *shop* is now well and truely shut.
He has spent the last five years of his life chasing the *big* dollars - yet has absolutely nothing to show for it. In his travels he has moved from Tom Price to Launceston, Launceston to Camp Hill, Camp Hill to Perth. All on jobs that have payed excellent money......but it has never been enough for him. The kid just can't seem to plant his feet.........
He did manage to accumulate an IP in Launceston (old PPOR), but essentially used that as an ATM........ and of course now wants to sell it..................ggrrrr.
Anyway enough moaning from me.........
ciao
Nor
Sorry for delay in reply, been off doing the East -West Pilbara to Perth and back tour.......
Don't mind the probing at all.....if anything it's good to have to think about things a bit and clear the cobwebs out of one's head....
The youngest daughter (17) is most concerned that we are personally responsible for the rise in housing unaffordability and the consequential social ramifications. In discussions with her it seems to be mainly coming from her school teachers.........which sort of sh@ts me to tears, but given the nature of the school I can fully appreciate the angle.
Without giving away the name of the school.......just think of the film FAME and imagine the whole arts thing, you know.....those that are destined to forever live in the garrets writing poetry about social injustice etc etc etc.............
However I think she'll come around as she's just discovered how much money her sister earns ( I'll get to that in a minute).
Our eldest daughter (19) has always been supportive of us investing in property, although initially she did find it pretty strange. Now that she has started her own full time FIFO job with Minara and received her first pay, she's come right on board..........
The one and only boy (24) seems to be the main area of concern, Doesn't think anything of continually hitting us up for funds (I absolutely spat it a couple of weeks ago when I found Mrs Nor had lent him $4K), yet at the same time we are filthy rich capitalist b@st@rds need to be continually cut down at the knees. Some of his remarks can be quite cutting, and it upsets his mother no end - which is probably why she gets the guilts and lends him the money.
Truthfully I can't understand where it comes from, other than perhaps from growing up as a teenager in a mining town??? I ended up missing catching up with him in Perth.....but next time I see him I'll be making it quite clear that the *shop* is now well and truely shut.
He has spent the last five years of his life chasing the *big* dollars - yet has absolutely nothing to show for it. In his travels he has moved from Tom Price to Launceston, Launceston to Camp Hill, Camp Hill to Perth. All on jobs that have payed excellent money......but it has never been enough for him. The kid just can't seem to plant his feet.........
He did manage to accumulate an IP in Launceston (old PPOR), but essentially used that as an ATM........
and of course now wants to sell it..................ggrrrr.Anyway enough moaning from me.........
ciao
Nor
I've never come across any tall-poppy syndrome from anyone I have discussed property or investing with at all. I find it's the opposite actually and everyone has been very encouraging and supportive whether its family, friends or people at work. In many cases I have had people I work with pump me for information on how to get started in property investing.
A conversation I had recently with my best friend for 20+ years and her husband was like this:
I unlock my 14 year old car with the key and her hubby laughs because i have an old car and no remote key thingy (they have a brand new Subaru) and she says quick as you please "yes but she has three houses Stuart".
They are not investors, but her encouragement and support is invaluable to me, which is what friends are for.
I tend not to talk about my investing very much though, because in reality I haven't really achieved as much as I should have in the 4 years since I started, and am still learning so much from this forum and other investors I talk to.
Perhaps if I did cop tall-Poppy syndrome from friends/family I would be more motivated to achieve greater things.
A conversation I had recently with my best friend for 20+ years and her husband was like this:
I unlock my 14 year old car with the key and her hubby laughs because i have an old car and no remote key thingy (they have a brand new Subaru) and she says quick as you please "yes but she has three houses Stuart".
They are not investors, but her encouragement and support is invaluable to me, which is what friends are for.
I tend not to talk about my investing very much though, because in reality I haven't really achieved as much as I should have in the 4 years since I started, and am still learning so much from this forum and other investors I talk to.
Perhaps if I did cop tall-Poppy syndrome from friends/family I would be more motivated to achieve greater things.
Great thread guys.
The tall poppie thing happens with lots of things.
We bought our first PPOR out west. Then I decided to go to Uni (at 30). Everyone said "do you think you're better than us?".
When I finished and started work we looked at houses in the Hills area. SIL said "What are you looking there for? YOU can't afford to live there"
Well they had no mortgage when we moved to the Hills. Now 15 years later they still own their PPOR (but nothing more). I'd love to know what they did with all the extra cash. Both are still working full time (they are over 60). and thinking of downsizing to get some cash.
We paid off our house 2 years ago (I was not clued in enough on property stuff). But have just purchased IP 2 and looking for 3. Needless to say I don't mention any of this to SIL. When I get number 5 I think I'll tell her. LOL
At a seminar a few weeks ago they said there are 3 types of people:-
Campers (those that are happy to set up tent and stay where they are,
Pullers- Those that want to drag everyone down to their level, and
Climbers- Those striving to get to the top.
Get the pullers out of your life. The campers you can live with. Just keep climbing. You'll soon leave them behind.
The tall poppie thing happens with lots of things.
We bought our first PPOR out west. Then I decided to go to Uni (at 30). Everyone said "do you think you're better than us?".
When I finished and started work we looked at houses in the Hills area. SIL said "What are you looking there for? YOU can't afford to live there"
Well they had no mortgage when we moved to the Hills. Now 15 years later they still own their PPOR (but nothing more). I'd love to know what they did with all the extra cash. Both are still working full time (they are over 60). and thinking of downsizing to get some cash.
We paid off our house 2 years ago (I was not clued in enough on property stuff). But have just purchased IP 2 and looking for 3. Needless to say I don't mention any of this to SIL. When I get number 5 I think I'll tell her. LOL
At a seminar a few weeks ago they said there are 3 types of people:-
Campers (those that are happy to set up tent and stay where they are,
Pullers- Those that want to drag everyone down to their level, and
Climbers- Those striving to get to the top.
Get the pullers out of your life. The campers you can live with. Just keep climbing. You'll soon leave them behind.
There's no such thing as paranoia...just a HIGHER state of awareness
- Embarrassment?
- Self conscious?
- Shame?
- Threatened?
Must be one of those?
No mention of concern that you will be hounded or harrased, seen as a 'mark' for a shyster
I find many family and friends do not mean harm, they simply show concern and want you to be safe; they may have a lack of education in regards to investing (shares/property etc) others do have understanding and indeed insights, not dicsussing investing/ments may cause you to miss out on a gem or three
I've found that you can learn something from anyone!
We all have different skills, backgrounds, knowledge bases and abilities
