Hi luckyone.
Every time you do a boxing class, try to imagine the faces of the construction workers on the pads you are hitting
.Regards
Marty
Acceptable Behaviour?
- Thread starter luckyone
- Start date
Every time you do a boxing class, try to imagine the faces of the construction workers on the pads you are hitting
.Regards
Marty
Hey Guys. Just came across this old post of mine. Funny, I had actually completely forgotten about what the construction workers said back then. Seems like so long ago now and I was definitely in a different mind back then. Well you'll be glad to know that my weight loss has continued, albeit very slowly. I've lost another 15 kilos since my original post, so now only 25 to go. Even if it takes me another 5 years (at my current rate of 5kg a year), I'm going to be one very happy lady!
Very well done Luckyone!
I lost abit of weight myself, got some compliments from people at work and they ask how i did it. That's usually a good feeling
while i understand and sympathize with you, i think it's acceptable behavior and should be encouraged since early childhood.
the reason for that is that in our culture it became acceptable to be fat.
the political correctness comes to the point where people are encouraged to be fat, and are taught that it's not their fault that they are fat.
well in most cases it's either their fault, or their parent's fault.
what we need is more peer pressure on fat people to adopt the healthy way of life. whether the particular words those guys used are acceptable or not comes to the personal skin thickness.
the reason for that is that in our culture it became acceptable to be fat.
the political correctness comes to the point where people are encouraged to be fat, and are taught that it's not their fault that they are fat.
well in most cases it's either their fault, or their parent's fault.
what we need is more peer pressure on fat people to adopt the healthy way of life. whether the particular words those guys used are acceptable or not comes to the personal skin thickness.
Have I misread something here?
Dishing out abuse and humiliating a person/child so they lose weight
. Nice one
.
Positive reinforcement is kind, and perfectly acceptable Strannik, such as has been given by everyone else in this thread.
Negative reinforcement isn't nice by definition, and this primitive sort of encouragement often defeats it's purpose, through rebellion or otherwise.
It can be hard to make jokes without insulting anyone, but cruel mockery of people is not a healthy way of life btw, and I'm not just talking about mental health, as people who throw such insults, can eventually find themselves getting beaten up.
You're doing pretty well Luckyone, keep it up
I did lol when you wrote about tripping over that guy and he landed on his face, but just like the commonly foul mouthed construction workers, you know that there is a more mature and rewarding way to deal with them.
Yes, i'm talking about reporting them, but not anonymously, i'm talking about walking right up to them, and telling them that because you're so nice, you're going to give them one chance to apologize right now for being rude, or it will be too easy to report them via their business name
If they don't apologize nicely, i'd just say something like "that wasn't very nice" while I start dialing the number next to the logo, or call the operator to give them the business name and get the number.
Doing this is not only really easy and fun, it will boost your confidence and self esteem, you'll feel great But I would only do it when there are bystanders, just for your own safety, just in case.
I'm probably stating the obvious, but I'm not suggesting that you become miss sensitive, and start making people apologize for anything that you find even slightly offensive But I don't take any crap from anyone, I tell them what I think, life's too short
Negative reinforcement isn't nice by definition, and this primitive sort of encouragement often defeats it's purpose, through rebellion or otherwise.
It can be hard to make jokes without insulting anyone, but cruel mockery of people is not a healthy way of life btw, and I'm not just talking about mental health, as people who throw such insults, can eventually find themselves getting beaten up.
You're doing pretty well Luckyone, keep it up
I did lol when you wrote about tripping over that guy and he landed on his face, but just like the commonly foul mouthed construction workers, you know that there is a more mature and rewarding way to deal with them.
Yes, i'm talking about reporting them, but not anonymously, i'm talking about walking right up to them, and telling them that because you're so nice, you're going to give them one chance to apologize right now for being rude, or it will be too easy to report them via their business name
If they don't apologize nicely, i'd just say something like "that wasn't very nice" while I start dialing the number next to the logo, or call the operator to give them the business name and get the number.
Doing this is not only really easy and fun, it will boost your confidence and self esteem, you'll feel great
But I would only do it when there are bystanders, just for your own safety, just in case.I'm probably stating the obvious, but I'm not suggesting that you become miss sensitive, and start making people apologize for anything that you find even slightly offensive
But I don't take any crap from anyone, I tell them what I think, life's too short 
I would just like to point out that this is NOT acceptable behaviour at all. It is obvious that you don't understand and sympathize one ounce, or else you would not say anything so cruel.
It can be extremely hard to lose weight and comments such as yours can and do often make the problem worse. Many overweight people turn to food as comfort when they feel down.
Lucky one, I would like to say that you are doing an amazing job. By continuing to lose weight slowly you have proven that you have made some realistic life choices on your eating regime. Many crash diet, only to put it all back on again. You know you won't be one of these statisics because it is happening slowly and steadily. Good on you.
You can not be serious! I think it's disgusting behaviour, whilst I agree that in a way we encourage being overweight in some ways, calling it political correctness (e.g. obese people wanting big seats / double seats on planes for no extra charge despite it costing the airline and thinking this should be allowed), I don't think that making fun of anyone is right in any way.
I just wonder how "perfect" those tradies are, and who do they think they are to be dishing out insults. I must admit, I'm not innocent in my own thoughts sometimes against people, for example if I see a very overweight person in a supermarket with a trolley full of crap, I think to myself that they should not be eating that, but would NEVER EVER say anything to anyone. It's just cruel, pointless and really disgusting for anyone to think they are so perfect that they have the right to humiliate someone and put down someone else. You should be ashamed of yourself if you think it's acceptable.
So their lives become so miserable, that they want to kill themselves? Way to go! I believe education, even maybe higher taxes on junk food like cigarettes and alcohol, but not bullying someone into wanting to lose weight. Where do you or anyone else get the right to make fun of someone else? Are you ugly? Maybe I'll make fun of you for that, you should go and get cosmetic surgery because I can't stand to look at ugly people.
I bet those tradies are a bunch of @rseholes contributing a lot less to society than what luckyone is.I can't stand loser morons who act in this way towards anyone, and luckyone, just think, their lives must be pretty empty and useless if they get their entertainment from making fun of you. So hold your head high and ignore them. Their lives probably consist of getting p*ssed every day and going home to nothing. What a bunch of idiots!
Please don't breed, Strannik. You're not psychologically equipped to raise children.
You are a complete ar*e.
I have been obese. I have lost lots of weight. I now help people loose weight for a living. You do not motivate anyone to do anything by constantly critising and being an a-hole to them and about them. What you are suggesting, the behaviour of those workers just make the issue worse.
I am not saying it is OK to be overweight. It isn't. But no-one knows that as well as the actual person with the weight problem.
Do you know what it feels like to wake up every morning and not be able to wear anything nice, because nothing fits. To struggle doing simple things, because you are too unfit to do them. To be looked over, seen through, made fun of.
How on earth is making obsene comments to someone going to 'motivate' them to do something about it??!!? If anything it will have the oppersite effect. They will give up. They will start to think that such abuse is appropriate and that the abusers are correct. They will gain more weight.
If a person doesn't know how to read, should we berate them because of this? Will that make them go out and learn how to read?
If you pulled your head out of you ar*e for a bit and actually thought about your impact on others, rather then trying to drag others down to make you feel better about yourself, then maybe you would realise that education is the solution - not demeaning them.
Most people (even those who are skinny and have never had a weight problem) do not really understand what is healthy and what is not. They do not understand nutrional labels or what are actually good portion sizes.
Do you know how many people I meet who 'think' they are eating healthy and honestly cann't understand why they aren't loosing weight.
We won't even get into the 'issues' people have that cause them to gain weight in the first place. If any of us overweight / obese people had everything in perfect working order mentally, then we wouldn't be overweight in the first place. Loosing weight is more a battle of the mind then one of the body. And to have unhelpful gits like yourself act like bullying d***heads, does not help.
Strannik, I love this part of your companies commitment statement!
With more than 5 years of experience with AutoChlor products, we maintain our commitment to the high level of technical expertise and great customer service. We place a lot of importance on customers devotion and sincerity because it is the foundation of our business.
I only hope your devotion and sincerity to your customers is better than that of your opinion towards people with weight issues.
BTW- do any of your overweight customers know that you believe they should be mocked! I didn't think so!
With more than 5 years of experience with AutoChlor products, we maintain our commitment to the high level of technical expertise and great customer service. We place a lot of importance on customers devotion and sincerity because it is the foundation of our business.
I only hope your devotion and sincerity to your customers is better than that of your opinion towards people with weight issues.
BTW- do any of your overweight customers know that you believe they should be mocked!
I didn't think so!
happens a lot, unfortunately.
i find a cafe chair to the back of the head generally solves the issue, because you're overweight you're seen as "soft" - and no one likes a crazy person and will do anything to avoid dealing with such.
was that helpful - i don't know. you decide. i know it used to work for me a fair bit - especially when the retaliation is outside the parameters of "normal". people used to poke fun of a few of my friends all the time, only ever happened once with each of them.
pool cues, bar stools, up-ending tables - whatever - didn't care.
there's no excuse for poor behaviour, so i like to put them on the end of it and see how threatened it makes them feel.
you generally only need to get the message across once, sometimes it needs a little re-inforcing but a lot of loud mouths like to act tuff but go $2-50c-$2-50c when the action gets hot.
the bible teaches an eye for an eye - so be it.
now, don't go off half c 0 c k. remeber, we're dealing with people who don't understand differently.
if there were civil folk engaging in civil discussion then we wouldn't need to come out swinging the "for two table" above your head like a maniac.
it's either that or public embarrasment by walking right back up to them and asking to explain their comment, but with 3 or 4 mates around you're likely to get king hit. if it was one or two - fine - publicly embrass.
remember that.
i find a cafe chair to the back of the head generally solves the issue, because you're overweight you're seen as "soft" - and no one likes a crazy person and will do anything to avoid dealing with such.
was that helpful - i don't know. you decide. i know it used to work for me a fair bit - especially when the retaliation is outside the parameters of "normal". people used to poke fun of a few of my friends all the time, only ever happened once with each of them.
pool cues, bar stools, up-ending tables - whatever - didn't care.
there's no excuse for poor behaviour, so i like to put them on the end of it and see how threatened it makes them feel.
you generally only need to get the message across once, sometimes it needs a little re-inforcing but a lot of loud mouths like to act tuff but go $2-50c-$2-50c when the action gets hot.
the bible teaches an eye for an eye - so be it.
now, don't go off half c 0 c k. remeber, we're dealing with people who don't understand differently.
if there were civil folk engaging in civil discussion then we wouldn't need to come out swinging the "for two table" above your head like a maniac.
it's either that or public embarrasment by walking right back up to them and asking to explain their comment, but with 3 or 4 mates around you're likely to get king hit. if it was one or two - fine - publicly embrass.
remember that.
assess the risk.
Congrats on the weight loss thus far! You're going great guns!
Agree with vincenzo...confront them in a polite way.
I had to confront construction workers & gee, do they pull their heads in & become meek lil boys. I did go to the site manager first. I'm only 5'4ish & small so I know it can be intimidating walking up to a group of blokes...but boy do you feel 10' tall when you walk away leaving them feeling like the bullies they are.
You could even call the site manager down & say you don't want to make a complaint for the reasons you outlined earlier about them losing their job. You just want to speak to the group briefly & ask them why it was necessary to talk to you that way. Perhaps you could ask them if they would like someone speaking to their mother/sister/daughter in the way they just spoke to you? I guarantee they will hang their heads & be unable to look you in the eye.
The decision is yours though, sometimes it's better to walk away & sometimes you gotta fight this 'bum crack' mentality when it appears
Agree with vincenzo...confront them in a polite way.
I had to confront construction workers & gee, do they pull their heads in & become meek lil boys. I did go to the site manager first. I'm only 5'4ish & small so I know it can be intimidating walking up to a group of blokes...but boy do you feel 10' tall when you walk away leaving them feeling like the bullies they are.
You could even call the site manager down & say you don't want to make a complaint for the reasons you outlined earlier about them losing their job. You just want to speak to the group briefly & ask them why it was necessary to talk to you that way. Perhaps you could ask them if they would like someone speaking to their mother/sister/daughter in the way they just spoke to you? I guarantee they will hang their heads & be unable to look you in the eye.
The decision is yours though, sometimes it's better to walk away & sometimes you gotta fight this 'bum crack' mentality when it appears
You didn't say that in your initial post. You just said 'go crazy and they'll run' sort of thing. Ive seen that backfire.
Just like a baseball bat or a knife. If you pull it on someone be prepared for it to be poked back at you.
Disaster can result from 'going crazy' unless you're the certified toughest, maddest hombre in town. At least where i come from. (which is the western suburbs of Sydney)
Just like a baseball bat or a knife. If you pull it on someone be prepared for it to be poked back at you.
Disaster can result from 'going crazy' unless you're the certified toughest, maddest hombre in town. At least where i come from. (which is the western suburbs of Sydney)
cool, so don't do it where you live. note for evand - don't go crazy. like i said, assess the risk.
if people actually stood up for who they are, this crap would happen a lot less.
So you're suggesting a female on their own being bullied by a group of tradies should stand up for herself?
I agree that sometimes these gutless bullies would back down and shut their mouths if they thought someone would stand up to them, but I would never put myself in a position of possibly worsening the situation. I prefer to "use my brains and not my mouth/fists" (was taught that as a child). I would quite happily walk away, knowing that I'm a better person than they are, and that in itself would give me enough satisfaction.
yes - i specifically mentioned a single woman being buliied by a group of tradies scenario in my post, so i guess so.....
i freely and professionally give advice to all my clients to go and beat up anyone who gives them some flack. it's a great niche market, like a reverse dr phil. i provide fight nights in my rented basement as well - if you go limp, yell stop or tap out, the fight is over. my alter ego name is tyler durden too.is there anything else you'd like to put in my mouth? aside from a sock?
but my personal viewpoint is to just sit in the corner and suck my thumb - professional and perswonal views are two different things entirely...lets not confuse the two. sorry - no graphs or bond rates to refer to and post up for 'heat of the moment' discussion.
i would walk away - IF i could walk away - but many times you can't. but the "walk away" bit is so ingrained that you do nothing, which makes the situation worse for you and better for them.
i know which side of the fence i'd rather be on. and no, there's no 'happy' medium on this, just different opinions.
