How do you tell your kids the truth and when?
- Thread starter INVSTOR
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OK I really didn't want to get drawn into this but....I am sooo with Wylie and Skater on this.
I admire those of you with a toddler and your desire to bring them up as you perceive to be "correct" and good luck with that. We just may have to put the rest of the conversation away for 10-15 years until you have survived the terrible twos, then the teenage years etc.
I can assure you that those very young years of wonder go so quickly you will be wondering what happened. That little boy or girl will one day be towering over you and you will wish that you had been able to slow the years down and keep them little for just that fraction longer.
Sometimes though that lesson will be learned the hard way.
I admire those of you with a toddler and your desire to bring them up as you perceive to be "correct" and good luck with that. We just may have to put the rest of the conversation away for 10-15 years until you have survived the terrible twos, then the teenage years etc.
I can assure you that those very young years of wonder go so quickly you will be wondering what happened. That little boy or girl will one day be towering over you and you will wish that you had been able to slow the years down and keep them little for just that fraction longer.
Sometimes though that lesson will be learned the hard way.
yes Y33, anyone can very easily proove that we are talking about fiction fairy tales. My boy might also believe that Herbie, lightning mcqueen, stitch, astro boy, and everyone else really exist, but if he asks me for the truth, i'll tell him.
Joan, it was nearly 18 years ago when i started folding up & changing nappies with safety pins.
I missed one of your points earlier Biggles - i think it's sad if xmas is the most joyus time of year - every month should be joyus - we laugh when we look back at some of the mistakes we've made, be it a picture, an unstable tower, or train track, everything is seriously fun... many of the kids at childcare love my antics, heaps of them call me dad... The idea that someone could feel sorry for MY son seems absurd to me!
Joan, it was nearly 18 years ago when i started folding up & changing nappies with safety pins.
I missed one of your points earlier Biggles - i think it's sad if xmas is the most joyus time of year - every month should be joyus - we laugh when we look back at some of the mistakes we've made, be it a picture, an unstable tower, or train track, everything is seriously fun... many of the kids at childcare love my antics, heaps of them call me dad... The idea that someone could feel sorry for MY son seems absurd to me!
Vincenzo, you said my reading was poor, but am I not reading this correctly? He is three years old. Why burst his bubble by telling him his colouring is messy?
Did your parents do that to you?
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Now who can't read.
I said it was "one of the most joyous" for our family. It wasn't just about getting the presents Christmas morning, it was the big build up to it. Looking at Christmas lights, visiting Santa at Myer, writing Santa letters, getting together with our cousins for a family get together, making Christmas decorations etc. It was always a huge thing in my family so I guess if you took that away, it'd be pretty sad for me. Of course we had lots of other joyous occassions, I just remember Christmas being one of the special ones.I just think kids grow up too fast these days, no thanks to the parents, and are encouraged to treat them like little adults (this is not a dig at you Vincenzo, this is a generalised statement). I heard on the weekend of a mother encouraging her 11 year old daughter to wear mini skirts because she "has the legs for it".
Pedophiles must love today's society. Oh dear, this is getting a bit out of hand I feel. Parenting is way too complex to get much detail across on an internet forum and I'm feeling for Vincenzo now.
Ianvestor has vanished and he kinda started all the non-Santa-truth-only argument really.
Vincenzo I do actually get where you are coming from with the honesty about bad/sloppy work. The clever ones can tell when an adult is being insincere and they can take some criticism in their stride (even at 3). You certainly come across to me as a sincere, caring father who takes the time to write to a property forum about Santa!
My kids actually love a mate of my husband who is very blunt and gruff. The thing is, when he hands out a compliment or comment aimed at them they really love it and literally sit at his feet waiting for his attention. They know it's the real deal, not just fluff to keep them happy IYKWIM.
I have a winge that's similar (but different) When other kids bang their head on a table for instance, or knock over a chair the parent will come running up and say something silly like "Oh bad table, what a nasty table... give the table a whack" (seriously, I've witnessed this..) It's not the inanimate object's fault! The little brat did it to himself, usually being a brat at the time!
Yes... other parents... other kids... urgh.
Ianvestor has vanished and he kinda started all the non-Santa-truth-only argument really.
Vincenzo I do actually get where you are coming from with the honesty about bad/sloppy work. The clever ones can tell when an adult is being insincere and they can take some criticism in their stride (even at 3). You certainly come across to me as a sincere, caring father who takes the time to write to a property forum about Santa!
My kids actually love a mate of my husband who is very blunt and gruff. The thing is, when he hands out a compliment or comment aimed at them they really love it and literally sit at his feet waiting for his attention. They know it's the real deal, not just fluff to keep them happy IYKWIM.
I have a winge that's similar (but different
) When other kids bang their head on a table for instance, or knock over a chair the parent will come running up and say something silly like "Oh bad table, what a nasty table... give the table a whack" (seriously, I've witnessed this..) It's not the inanimate object's fault! The little brat did it to himself, usually being a brat at the time!Yes... other parents... other kids... urgh.
Mine never asked questions. They "said" they believed in Santa long after I knew that they didn't. I think they were scared that if we knew they didn't believe, then the Santa presents would stop. In saying this, however, we always had two lots of presents. Some from us and some from Santa. The stuff from Santa was usually stuff they wanted, but the cheaper stuff. The best presents came from us.
Except i got ripped off, Sister got Santa presents two years longer than me. I remember i think it was last year or the year before i wanted Santa presents and that he was real to get them and you said if i believe in him i should go get Santa photos and i said i would...Still got no Santa presents...*hmph!*
Oh, and i was about 8 or so when i first saw "Santa", yeah thanks Mum and Dad...
tHANKS for all your opinions everyone. At the end of the day everyone is just doing what they think is best for their kids. I heard a couple of years ago that an old friend of my daughters who is 3 years older than my daughter had to be told the truth about santa, etc. I thought it was a bit out there, I never thought I'd find myself in the same position.
We own a 5 unit apt building that we and our 4 young adult children live in. Easter Bunny left them all a present on their outside door knob. You should have seen their faces the next time I saw them. A smile a mile across.
It's the thought.A tiny bit of childhood still remaining.
Yes, they do know the Easter Bunny may not be real
It's the thought.A tiny bit of childhood still remaining.
Yes, they do know the Easter Bunny may not be real
I've just been reading along, and Vincenzo has mostly been doing a good job of posting my thoughts anyway
But it's pointless trying to convince anyone else that my parenting style is the best ever, coz it's different for everyone.By the way, do any of you tell your kids that the 'chicken' they're eating came from chopping up an actual chicken?
Yes, and my 20 year still will not eat chicken if it looks like chicken.
No chicken legs, wings etc for him.
But he loves chicken nuggets.
son
always knew where the meat came from, we shot rabbits,
had a butcher turn our cow into beef, 100lbs for our freezer, 100lbs for grandmas freezer, uncles freezer, etc
had chickens
walking round the yard and then eating them.
country kid, bit ridiculous to not know where chicken comes from
always knew where the meat came from, we shot rabbits,
had a butcher turn our cow into beef, 100lbs for our freezer, 100lbs for grandmas freezer, uncles freezer, etc
had chickens
walking round the yard and then eating them.
country kid, bit ridiculous to not know where chicken comes from
I have a winge that's similar (but different
Yes... other parents... other kids... urgh.
My pet peeve is when a kid falls over (and hasn't hurt themselves) the parents come running up saying "Oh my God! Are you alright" and carry on much more than the kid. All this does is breed namby pamby cry babies.
I learn long ago that when a toddler falls there is usually a split second before they react. If the parent goes into distress mode, so will the child, however if the parent laughs it off, the child will too. If the child then cries, well they have genuinely hurt themselves and you can go into comfort mode.
I'm a take-it-easy, laugh-it-off Dad, very rarely pick up daughter after a fall, just say "up yer get!" even in shopping centre, etc. But MIL is complete opposite, freaking out over the tiniest bump or grain of dirt. When you have those opposites in the same place at the same time, guess which one wins out in bub's mind?
Oh yes, we get asked "what is this bit?" frequently at dinner time. Always fun when we are having some kind of rump cut, and you explain what a rump is, and "OH MY GOD WE'RE EATING A BUM??!??!?!?!!"
The time she had found a vein in a chop and asked what it was, that turned into asking about arteries, which turned into asking about how you die when arteries are cut, which meant we had to explain which arteries exactly where the ones that kill you when you cut them.
Ah, dinner table conversations
Oh yes, this is a pet thing of mine! I cant stand the thought of my kids growing up thinking that milk and meat etc "comes from the shop" and not from an animal. They (4 and 7) have known from the time they could comprehend that meat is from animals, and which type of animal that particular meat is from. They know the animal has to die to become meat that people can eat. They love meat! Do people think if children know meat comes from an animal they will be traumatised for life?
Funnily, my kids are quite fascinated by all types of food, and want to try most everything - my daughter is happy to give snails and frogs legs a miss, but my son would definitely give it a go! They are fascinated that every country has different foods and eat different things, and we encourage them to at least try everything.
Each to their own, I suppose!
Nards
I'm a take-it-easy, laugh-it-off Dad, very rarely pick up daughter after a fall, just say "up yer get!" even in shopping centre, etc. But MIL is complete opposite, freaking out over the tiniest bump or grain of dirt. When you have those opposites in the same place at the same time, guess which one wins out in bub's mind?
LOL! I had a friend who had a kid the same age as my youngest. Her kid was always immaculate, never any dirt anywhere and mum would freak out at the tiniest thing. The kid was always sick (not sure whether real or imagined). She actually said to me one day, that she was glad she lived in a unit, so that she could make sure the environment was always clean for her.
Mine, on the other hand used to runaround the backyard and was always picking up stuff and putting it in her mouth. Dirt, snails, anything. She was never sick. She's still healthy and strong as an ox.
Our kids have helped pluck our chickens (after beheading) since they were able to grab a feather. One even described it for show and tell at kindy. The other precious mothers were horrified!. My MIL was one of the ones that would hit the "naughty" table for banging a kids knee stupid.
My kids thought the Easter bunny sucked this year because there were hardly any chocs, but they love hearing their younger cousins get excited and play along for them.
. My MIL was one of the ones that would hit the "naughty" table for banging a kids knee stupid.My kids thought the Easter bunny sucked this year because there were hardly any chocs, but they love hearing their younger cousins get excited and play along for them.
